Sunday Story...Home Sweet Home

Sunday Story...Home Sweet Home

Where is “home”?
...Home is where the heart is
...You can never go home again
...The chickens come home to roost


There are so many aphorisms about home. Yet when we look up home in the dictionary, most of the definitions are in reference to a physical dwelling, a place to live, or an abode.
But for most of us that is a house.


I live in a house.
I dwell in an an abode.
I make my house a home.


The deeper meaning for many of us has to do with the reference to hearth. The hearth in times gone by was the heart of a house...the fireplace where the cooking was done, where warmth emanated from, where the people gathered to commune and join together. When I think of home this is what I think of...the community where I am accepted, the people who love me.


Home is not necessarily a physical spot on the globe. I have never lived in my parent's house, yet when I go there I am home. When I return to my house, I am home. Yes it is possible to have more than one home. When I sit with my brothers I am home. When I meet with my martial arts friends to work out and sweat and bleed I am home. When I return to the meditation hall I am home. All of these places have something in common...they are all places I can be the authentic self I am called to be. They are all places where I can just be.


We often talk about the “homeless” as a group, a category of people. What we should say is “house-less”. Just like each of us have a mother and a father, yet can be orphans, so, too, can we be house-less and not be homeless. Home does not have to be a physical destination. Home does not have to exist between 4 walls.


Home could be a cave or a tent. Home could be a barracks in a foreign land. Home could be an imaginary place you only get to in the silence of the night. Home may only exist in the residence of your mind.

Home really is where your heart is. Are you home yet?

This is the last story of 2010. Next Sunday will be 2011.

To all of you who have found the time, the strength, or the desire to comment on these stories, I thank you. I read every comment with relish and gratitude. As a rule I do not respond to the comments, there isn't always time, and often a response would be gratuitous anyway. Please continue to comment and let me know if what I have written has touched you in some way. Over the years of writing these stories I have been excoriated, lauded, punished, kicked, made fun of, and complimented. Some of you know I am writing directly to you (I am). Some of you are sure that somehow I know just the right thing to write to you this particular week (I do). These are your stories. These are the channeling from each of you into the universal energy that flows through my fingers onto these pages. So, yes I am talking to you. I am writing to you, about you, for you. I am writing to challenge you. I am writing to excite you. I am writing to get you to feel, to think, to get out of your ennui, out of your torpor, off of the couch and into the world, out of complaint and into action...any action is better than the “quiet desperation” most of the world is living in these days.

I want to make you mad. I want to have you feel something, anything. Our world needs your passion, your heart, your soul to get up and get counted. You were not placed on this earth at this time to do nothing. You are here for a purpose. Not finding your purpose is a crime against nature, like a chicken with no wings, or a horse with a pig nose. Not living on purpose is a crime as well. I want to help you find your purpose and start living into your purpose.

4 questions for you:
How am I making a difference?
Is what you are doing, right now, on purpose?
Is this what I really want to do?
Am I following my passion?

How will you answer?

As some of you know I do private life coaching, personally designed to help you create the life you want to be living. We can work on purpose, vision, diet, exercise or any number of areas that will enrich and encourage and challenge you to create a life you want to live.

If you are interested in exploring that sort of relationship email me at:
jmariotti1@gmail.com

But understand this: My mission is to teach focus and inspire transformation. In you. If you are ready I am willing. No excuses, no maybes, sort ofs, kindas...just the hard and rewarding work of transformation.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com
 
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PS.
Some of you have asked about my knee from last week. I am very fortunate to know an outstanding healer. Her name is Dr. Laura Harmon. She has an office in Fallon NV. She is a chiropractor, a massage therapist, an acu-pressure specialist, a Reiki healer, and, most of all, an energetic healer. She spent 2 hours working on my knee and got me back on my feet. Her office number is: 775-423-7000 and her business is called Fallon Family Chiropractic. She comes with my highest recommendation.

Sunday Story...To Die For

Sunday Story…To Die For

2008
Silver state 50 mile race. We are going to run from Rancho San Rafael Park over Peavine to Verdi. And back. I am trying to finish in less than 12 hours in order to have a qualifying time for the Western States 100 miler. I did this race for the first time last year in 13 hours. I ran 50 miles around a track (200 laps) in 11 hours and 30 minutes the summer before today. I ran a 50 kilometer race about 8 weeks before this day and a ½ marathon about 3 weeks before this day. It is a beautiful day a little warm for this early in May but the sun is out and it is most pleasant.

Around 10 miles in I realize I am not feeling great. My nutrition plan isn’t working quite right and I just don’t feel on. But I press on…it is too early to tell how the race is going to go. Somewhere around 25 or so miles I know this is not going to be my best day but I am ½ way and I don’t want to quit yet, besides I have a pacer going to join me in Verdi at the turn around point and that should improve things. Up to this point I have been alone.

At about 31 or 32 miles I pick up Katie R. my pacer. She immediately notices that I am not drinking enough water and starts in on the mantra…drink, drink, drink. My right knee is starting to act funny and I definitely feel like something left on the road dead. But I hate to quit. Absolutely hate to quit when I have anything left to give. So I press on, besides Katie is ready to go. The last 11 miles are all downhill. This really really really sucks. My knee is throbbing, my gait is off my body is starved and I am barely staying hydrated. With about 3 miles left they try to pull me off the course as the 13 hour time limit has passed. I refuse to come off the course. I am basically out of my mind at this point but I don’t run 47 miles out of 50. So we finish, every step is agony and suffering. The knee is shredded. Surgery takes place about 6 months later. I finished dead last.

Last Thursday
My left knee has been troublesome for 3 or 4 months. I have been trying to not push it too hard but I also refuse to stop. While doing box jumps (jumping up on to a platform and down) I feel something in the left knee give out. I still have several sets of jumps to finish. Do I quit? Slow Down? No and no. I complete the entire 150 jumps. The next day I can barely walk. This morning I can walk even less. Now there aren’t any jumps in my near future.

What is it that has us continue in the face of pain and injury? Maybe even in the face of permanent and long term pain. In my two examples above there was no 8” high trophy, no $25,000 check, no date with a super model. Nothing to gain but the satisfaction of finishing something that I started. It has been said that men will die for points. Why is that? Why will we continue just to say we finished?

I believe it is part of our make up to continue in the face of adversity; that there is something within us that wants to be able to say I Did It. I finished the task. I decided to do it and I have done it. Mission accomplished. Yet not everyone does it. And honestly I would be better off today if I had made a different choice in both of those examples. I probably could have avoided surgery on the one knee in the first example and I certainly would be walking better today in the other example.

It was clear to me in the second example that I should stop yet I did not. I considered stopping yet I did not. I work out enough that calling a halt to that activity was not going to jeopardize my fitness level. Yet it did jeopardize my overall health. Maybe I have a wish to be hurt so I can stop? Unlikely. Maybe I just want to beat everyone else doing the work out? More likely. Once again a man dying for points.

I am not going to let someone else beat me if I can help it. I am not going to put up less than a 100% effort for any endeavor. If it is worth doing it is worth doing with my entire being, my entire heart and soul. Too often in our world today, too many people are just going through the motions. They show up, clock in and go back to their stupor. They bring no passion, no energy, no chi to the game. The game just plays them not the other way around.

The game is life folks. Life includes your workout, your 50 mile race, your job, your family, your personal growth, your evolution as a human on the planet. Will you die in pursuit of your life, or would you prefer to die quietly, going out without a whimper?

For me I want to go completely used up. I want to have done all there was to do, jumped every jump, ran every race, tried everything…leaving nothing on table but crumbs. Don’t carry me quietly, get out of the way as I slide into the grave screaming woo hoo what a ride!

How about you? What will you die for? What will you live for?

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Upside Down World

Sunday Story…Upside Down World


A world turned upside down….credit is not actually credit. Credit is actually debt. Debt is not good. Credit is good. Credit goes on the plus side of the ledger. Debt goes on the minus side, at least in all the accounting books I am familiar with. Yet they call them credit cards, when in fact, it is a debt card.

A world turned upside down…we allow big food corporations to sell us on the benefits of added minerals and vegetables in their processed edible non-food products but broccoli and cauliflower and carrots are being robbed of their nutrient values by mono-crop over intensive farming methods.

A world turned upside down…big banks and big companies get government bail outs but the business owner down the street has to close his doors because government regulation and fees reduce the business that he has worked for a lifetime, fed his family, put his children through school to the point it can no longer be profitable.

A world turned upside down…poor people get hand outs if they qualify, rich people get tax breaks, the working poor get to work and no help.

A world turned upside down…in the face of overwhelming evidence people continue to smoke and deny the deleterious effects of smoking on their health. And cigarette companies continue to advertise smoking like it is still good for you.

A world turned upside down…drug companies advertise pharmaceutical solutions to diseases we never knew existed (restless leg syndrome). The drugs in question get advertised as long as the legal disclaimer is read and the side effects often include death. Yet natural products can make no claim even if clinical trials show their effectiveness in the treatment, prevention, or cure of the same syndromes.

Are we so in love with our pain, so in love with the status quo that we will risk pain, injury or even death to keep it in our lives? Do you so love your plight that you will ignore the open doors out of your wretchedness? I mean really? Is the pleasure you derive from smoking greater than the pain of lung cancer, emphysema, or just not being able to move the way you want to?

As humans we are programmed from birth to move toward pleasure and away from pain. This is one of the astounding paradoxes of our time: We admire and worship heroes who put their lives on the line, who run back into burning buildings, follow criminals, or rush into the fire of battle. These heroes run into danger and into pain not away from it. Our history abounds with these stories. We love talking about these people and placing them on the pedestal of our respect. Yet when we have an everyday choice like not smoking, eating right, or changing our minds we run away like a bear was chasing us.

Why not run into the hard choice? Why not do the hard things the way your hero does? Why not accept the temporary pain of effort and vision for the long term joy of success and fulfillment? Why not? It is that hard? Is it so difficult to see the gain, the pleasure that you will deny yourself if continue on your empty path to status-quo ville.

This is all related to our turned upside down world. We are conditioned by our advertising, by our culture, by our socialization to accept mediocrity, to stay with the herd-think so we never have the chance to excel, to be the truly great, amazing and fantastic person we were put on this earth to be. If you step out into the light, if you step into a vision bigger than yourself, if you run into the burning building you are an outlier, a maverick, a hazard and a danger.

You want to change but it is hard, maybe you aren’t sure where to begin, maybe you are afraid of who might have to be if you change. Here are two different paths:
Path A---Go slow. Change one little thing. Choose a minor, hardly noticeable thing and see what happens. Make sure the sky doesn’t fall. If that works okay then maybe pick another ittle thing and see what happens with that one…and so on until you start on the really big ones. Don’t quit smoking…quit smoking 1 cigarette at a time. Don’t go on a diet and cut out all carbs or sugar…just stop eating a doughnut every morning and have a bagel and an orange instead. Little inconsequential things things not big scary things and the result over a year will be a major shift in who you are. If I turn the steering wheel of my car just 3 degrees in any one direction after a thousand miles I will have a whole new destination.

Path B---Begin with the end in mind. Who do you want to be at the end of 2011? What new habits do you want to cultivate, what things do you want to accomplish? Once you have the destination, the end in mind, you can reverse engineer the journey. If I want to be enrolled in a college education program in 2011, what steps must I take? Then map out those steps…do the research and start the journey one step at a time. Want to quit smoking? Set a date to be smoke free. Figure out what the best method may be for you. Try different things, talk to people, get hypnotized. This is the big step path…decide where you want to be and take the plunge.

Two different paths…one looks like putting your toes in one at a time and testing the water. The other looks like seeing the end of the pool and diving in. They will both work. It is really up to you.

The world is upside down. You can just accept it and trudge along for your 78.8 accepting whatever the fates, big pharma, big oil, big food, and big government give you and then you die. Or you can try to right the world either by standing on your head or shifting how you live in it. Your choice…there is no one right and true way but you know which way I lean.

See the world right side up … if you dare.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Takin out the trash

Sunday Story…Takin’ out the trash

Recently I wrote about getting rid of stuff. About how your stuff is limiting you and holding you back. The pile of papers on the table are sucking up energy and attention and creating a hole where your essence is getting sucked into. You don’t notice this while it is happening. And let’s be honest, you didn’t put the pile there to suck you dry. You put it there meaning to get to it later and then it grew and morphed into the black hole. Until you take care of it you won’t notice the detrimental effect it is having on your life.

Maybe it isn’t a pile of papers. Maybe it is some item that has an emotional attachment, a group of memories surrounding it. Every time you look at the item you remember that day or that person or that time when… It feels like if you dump the item you will be dumping the memories. Which we all know is not true. The memories do not live in the item. The memories live in your mind and the item is just a physical reminder of that experience. But the item is still taking up room in the garage or closet or wherever you have stashed it.

You might want a reminder of that happy occasion. You might want to remember a particular event. So how to get rid of the physical item that is creating clutter and sucking up energy in your life? It could be as easy as taking a picture of the item and writing a note to yourself about the experience…the things you want to remember, the smiles, the lights, and the delights of that moment in time. Put those items in a scrap book for your enjoyment later. The item is no longer taking up valuable real estate in your life and the memories are preserved. The act of doing this will create joy in your life. You will be releasing something that no longer serves you, you will be re-living the experience the item represents, and you will be preserving something that is important to you.

Or you might choose to just release the item and bless it on its journey. The memories will still be there. Granted they will fade and become less sharp and poignant but they will remain. In some ways this may be the better choice. Even the scrap book will contain a certain amount of psychic baggage and energy that may limit your ability to move forward. Better to just let it go with love and gratitude, especially if it is an item that can be used to create memories for someone else. This is the use it was intended. It was never intended to just gather dust in a corner of your garage. Let it go.

Then there is the stickier issue; the one about all the stuff rattling around in your brain. This stuff just can’t be thrown out and put on the curb for the trash man. What to do about the memories, hang ups, and stories that are holding you back, that are sucking up space on the hard drive in your brain. How do we release, how do we let these prickly little things go?

The process comes in 3 parts. First (and obviously) you must find them and decide they no longer serve you on your journey. They are not part of your purpose any longer. Second, you must enter a space of gratitude and happiness for whatever part those things played. They were important and served a valuable purpose at the time you created them and decided to keep them. Third, release them to the universe, the divine. Say it aloud…”Thank you for your service, I release you back to source.”

Unfortunately these memories won’t just be gone like the trash on pick up day. You may need to release them again and again. The stories you have told yourself? The ones about not being worthy, of not being lovable, or not being good enough my require you to rebuild new stories.

Let us suppose that your experience in life has you thinking you are not worthy of love. First go back to the experiences themselves. And take a snapshot of what actually happened. Not the story you are telling yourself but the actual event…as if there was a silent camera recording the event. Second, ask yourself if there isn’t another story you could create about that event? And third tell a new story. This is how we change the past by the way. No longer am I unworthy of being loved. Rather, I have kept my love safe until now, when it is ready to bloom and blossom under my new tutelage and with new stories.

I am not going to tell you this is easy. It is not. You have been living with these stories for many years. And these stories have been serving you well. They may have been keeping you safe for those years. They may have been integral to your growth and evolution as a human. But it is time to let them go, just like we give up the childish things as we grow, so too must we give up the stories we told ourselves when we are children. It is your life, your movie…don’t you want to write the script? What happened to you happened to you. It was not good nor was it bad. Good and bad are the stories, the judgments you are making around those events. Make a different judgment, tell a new story, one that empowers you and serves your adult, grown up purpose today, now.

I mean really, what have you got to lose? You can always go back to the old stories if you don’t like the new ones!

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Stuff

Sunday Story…Stuff

I have a lot of stuff. Books, cds, knick knacks, bric-a-brac, tschotkes, junk, stuff. I have tried to eliminate a lot of my stuff but it just seems to continue to multiply. I fear it may take a concerted effort on my part to really get to the bottom of all my stuff and get rid of it. It will take a decision to jettison it, to release it back from where it came. And in that release I will let go of all the things that stuff carries along with it. The memories, the little tendrils of hope and pain and success and failure. Because tied up in all that stuff is a life that has been lived. Maybe that is why all that stuff is there…it represents the life that has already gone before.

There is other stuff I am carrying around in my life. It is the stuff I carry inside of me. The stuff I have picked up over the last few decades, especially when I was a little person. This stuff I picked up to keep me safe, to keep my hopes and dreams alive, to keep me functioning in a confusing and difficult world. This stuff is the decisions I made as 5 or 10 or 15 year old about the world and the way it works. And now at 50+ years old my life is still being ruled by the decision a 5 year old made based on some event (good or bad) that happened to him.

Huh? I mean seriously…a 5 year olds decision is running my life? Think about it…Maybe one of your parents left you at that age…your 5 year old made that mean something to him or her. That child made that event mean something…love isn’t real, people who love you leave, I am not worthy of love, I don’t count. And from that meaning that child begins to live a life. And he or she makes decisions based on those meanings. And for all the years forward the decision that get made are made with that meaning in mind.

This is an integral part of our human condition…we make meaning. We create a story about events so that we can make sense of the world and understand our place in it. These stories become our stuff. And our stuff becomes more ingrained into our lives and gets really difficult to change as time goes on. That is assuming we can even recognize it as stuff. Because we train ourselves to think that this stuff is real and real important to us. We even let this stuff become who we are…it defines us.

Does your furniture define you? Does the house you live in or the car you drive create the person you are? No they don’t. The person you are defines the house and the car not the other way around. But we let this other stuff, stuff we picked up 10 or 20 or 30 years ago drive our lives and set the parameters or who we are capable of being. What if you had other stuff? What if you decided today that the stuff you are carrying around isn’t really yours anymore? What if you just took all that stuff out to the curb on trash day and left it to be taken away? Now what?

Now you get to decide who and what you are to be. You see getting rid of that other stuff…the boxes in the garage, the bags hanging around in the closet, the piles of things gathering dust on the shelves are holding space for the things that might really please you, might really bring joy and harmony to your world. Getting rid of your psychic junk does the same thing…if you create a new meaning, new story about the events in your life you are changing your past. And when you change the past you change the future. By eliminating all that old stuff you get to make room for the stuff that is going to serve the you that is here now, not the you of 45 years ago. The question is…do you dare?

Do you have the courage to recreate your life? Do you have the courage to be the person you really and truly want to be? Most of us are so in love with our stuff, so enamored of the people that our stuff has had us become that chucking that stuff away is just too frightening. This is the creation of a new you, one that does and says things in an adult way in a way that serves the integrated whole.

Do you dare become who you really want to be? What will you do without all that stuff holding you down and molding you into some person a 5 year old thought it would be safe to be? Do you really want to go on being that person? It’s safe and comfortable, granted, but is it really serving you in a way that has you living a life of optimum health and fitness? You see health and fitness isn’t just about your physical body…it is the whole package...mind, body and soul. All healthy, all fit, all working at their very highest and best.

Why not take all that old stuff and put it on the curb? Start with the physical stuff…all the junk lying around your house and garage and get rid of it….make room for stuff that will be more fun and alive. Then go upstairs in your mind and start cleaning out those old stories and ancient movie reels and make room for some new ones. Then get started on your soul. What beliefs and suppositions are you walking around with that really aren’t yours anymore. You might as well find some new ones of those too.

Riddle me this Batman…Who are you going to be when you get to be who you really ought to be?

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Me and my shadow

Sunday Story…Me and my shadow

I have a shadow self, several of them to be perfectly honest with you. My shadow lies very near the surface these days; it is not buried at all. I like my shadow; it is not scary or frightening any longer. I enjoy knowing and understanding this part of me that does not always live in the full light of day.

This was not always so. There were many years of my life that I was not aware of my shadow. That the actions and activities I was engaged in were part of some dark and devious parts of my psyche that I was not completely cognizant of. And there were many times parts of my shadow were running my life and I didn’t even know it until I awoke one day and wondered whose life I was living.

We all have a shadow. We all have bits of life that live under the rocks and detritus of our inner landscape. Some of them we buried ourselves. Some of them just got pushed away when they no longer served us and forgotten under some pile of trash in our mind. Often our forgotten hopes and dreams live in these shadows. Along with the parts of us that could make them happen. Sometimes they are the parts that we had to hide from the world to keep them safe. Sometimes they are the parts that we could not bring out due to fear.

I realize some of you may be saying, “Nope not me. No shadow over here. What you see is what you get.” Well…if that is so good for you. However you are a highly unusual individual, to be so completely aware and conscious and fully integrated…drop me a line because I want to spend a bunch of time with you. In my experience, however, (and that is all it is) people who claim not to have shadow are very scary indeed. Somehow they have managed to delude themselves, or hide those parts of their personalities from themselves so well that they can no longer see a shadow. The more light there is the more shadow there is. Congratulations you qualify as a very scary person in my world.

Often we do not realize what our shadow is or where it occurs. Maybe we don’t want to know, after all the shadows can be a bit scary. And turning on the light over there could reveal some things that are starkly unpleasant. Yet if we don’t do this work a couple things will be happening. As a matter of fact you might want to look this short list over and see if you recognize any of these things. If you do you are on the road to realizing just where and how your shadow is manifesting in your life.
• If you find yourself in addiction (drugs, alcohol, food, sex, love, etc) your shadow is in play
• If you are enabling someone else’s addictions, or you are being co-dependent your shadow is operating.
• If you find yourself having the same problem over and over again (jobs, people or more) it may be because your shadow is trying to get out and have you pay attention.
• If you have ever wondered how you ended up in the place where you are your shadow may have been driving the bus of your life before you woke up and took over the wheel.

Your shadow is not bad. Please do not think of your shadow as something you must get rid of or that you must cleanse or shake free of. Your shadow is there to serve you. Your shadow serves as very important foil for the parts of your personality that live more in the light. The light cannot exist without the dark and vice versa. The two of them are tied together like the sun and the moon and the sun loves the moon.

The idea is to understand your shadow and to befriend those places you are not aware of and to re-friend the ones you buried alive all those years ago. We turn the light on and start pulling the boxes out of the corners and opening them up to find out what we stored in them. And then we can start using them. Or at the very least to put them in their proper storage places and labeled to we can get at them when we want them.

You may be wondering how to find your shadow? It really isn’t very hard if you start looking. Every wonder why some people just irritate you? It is more than likely that person is carrying some part in the light that you keep in the shadow. Take a close look at those people and start exploring how you might be like them. Yes you might be like them in some little hidden outpost. Maybe someone you work with is especially challenging and it isn’t really about the work but it is about that person. That person may be dripping some of your shadow out that you really don’t like to face. Like they are arrogant and egotistical and well a royal pain but you are never like this, right? Here is s real zinger…our children often carry our shadows. They come into this world to teach us things about ourselves (and here you thought it was the other way around). The question is are you willing to pay attention and get the lesson or are you going to try to ignore it and hope it will all go away? Because it won’t go away.

The goal is to become ever more integrated; to enlist the shadow as an ally and put it to work for the greater good of your personality.

Of course you can ignore it and wonder why the universe keeps throwing the same drama and trauma in your path. Why your relationships keep showing up the same way with the same sort of problems. Maybe it really isn’t you at all. After all you aren’t the star of your own movie are you? You aren’t the common denominator in all your relationships. You aren’t the one with the drama…it always THEM, THEY are the problem.

Really? I mean really? Think about it. Maybe your shadow selves are having a bit of a joke in your life and you aren’t in on it! Or not. Maybe I am all wet here.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Food, Its not just for dinner anymore

Sunday Story…Food…it isn’t just for dinner anymore

Food is not just a matter of putting calories into your hopper. If it was we could just have some sort of gruel that would provide the necessary calories (energy) and nutrients and be good to go. Unfortunately it really isn’t that simple. And if it was maybe I could get away with eating ice cream and chocolate all day along with a multivitamin and that would be sufficient. Wouldn’t that be nice!

Food is tied up into our emotional being. If it wasn’t there would be no bulimics or anorexics. Weight would not be an issue because we would only eat to survive. Instead we have placed food in a position of soothing us, replacing love, and even meeting our need for companionship.

Food is just food. It is on one hand just some version of macro nutrients (protein, carbohydrate, and fat) and on the other hand it is the responsible for how I feel, day to day and hour to hour. Some of this is chemical…sugar does certain things to my body chemistry, proteins break down in certain ways, carbohydrates create an insulin reaction in my body, fat gets processed through my gall bladder and liver. All of these amazing things are done automatically and without thought.

The thought comes in as we are deciding what and when and how to eat. And that is based on our social conditioning, the way we were raised, and the associations we bring from childhood about food in general and certain foods in particular.

Think for a moment about Thanksgiving (since we are coming upon that time again). There are things about your Thanksgiving experience that are uniquely yours. They are all tied up in the memories you have of Thanksgivings past...the smells, the sights, the fights, and the fetes. And for you, the meal will not be complete unless there is some particular thing on the table, prepared in a particular fashion. It really has very little to do with the food itself, with the calories present, the protein or fat or carbohydrates. And it has everything to do with your emotional body and the relationship you have with food.

How do you feel about the food you are about to eat right now? Is it just sustenance? Is it going to soothe some raging beast inside your soul? Is that piece of chocolate going to validate your existence? How about that fried chicken leg, doughnut, or box of crunch a munch? Why do we tie so much up in our food and then refuse to sit down and eat with gratitude and intention? Does it really make sense?

What I am saying, what I am proposing is to change, shift, transform your relationship with the food you eat. If the relationship you have is at all times healthy and fulfilling then don't change it. But if you find yourself craving certain foods...be it chocolate, peanut butter, candy, cookies, fried okra (?), or what have you, then it may be time to take a good look at what is standing behind those overwhelming desires. What did you miss out on? What did those foods supplant?Why those foods and not others?

One of the simplest ways to look at the issue deeply is to clean up your diet. Eliminate the anti-nutrients, the toxic foods, the empty calories and the industrialized edible food products from your diet. Notice I said simple...not easy. In an earlier iteration I wrote of deciding to eliminate these foods...sugar, dairy, processed food, industrialized food, grains, and even more radically...potatoes, legumes and beans. All of these things carry toxins and anti-nutrients into your body. Eliminate them for 30 days. Then re-introduce them one by one and see how your body feels and reacts when you do.

How does this shift your relationship with food? It will force to to become intentional about your food choices. It will force you to think about what you are going to eat and why. No longer will food be something to be forced down over the kitchen sink. And while you may choose to eat it in front of the television you will make the choice. Food will require planning and shopping and yes, some work. But it is the work of your soul...the work of nourishing your body and nurturing your spirit.

You will eat green stuff. Some meat, hopefully sourced from natural sources, nuts, seeds, fruits and healthy fats. Today I walked around a number of food vendors and decided to eat this exact way...the only thing I could not control was the sourcing of the material, for that I had to depend on the word of the vendor. I did not feel deprived that I wasn't eating pizza, or calzone, or dimsum, or some other food that may be tasty and unhealthy. Deprivation is in your mind. As I write this I can feel the food surging through my system, fueling my organs, energizing my cells and allowing my mind to race from idea to idea.

I am grateful for food that fuels my body. Grateful to the animals that died so I may eat, grateful to the humans that worked to bring it to me, grateful to live in a place where such abundance is readily available to me. This is what I mean when I talk about a healthy and healthful relationship with the food I eat. Bon appetit!

Namaste

John

“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”

www.martialartsnevada.com
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Sunday Story...More Food

Sunday Story…More Food

I love food. I love to eat. I love to prepare good food well. I love to eat it with people I like. The food and the company nourish me. This is the important part of the food equation. If I am going to eat whatever I eat I better enjoy it.

You may have read the last 2 postings about food and trembled in your boots. Whatever am I going to eat!? No Grain! No Dairy! No Cheese! No Sugar! No No No! I have been eating this way for over a year now, almost 2. I am not 100% compliant. 90 or 95 % compliant yes but not 100%. You can do this, anyone can do this. The rest of this post will help you with the yes part of shifting your diet.

Yes…you can eat meat. This includes fish, chicken, turkey, eggs, beef, bison, pork (but this may be the last choice), ostrich, game like deer, elk, antelope, duck, goose, and pheasant, shellfish, and more. When you buy meat you want to get the absolute best you can buy. Plan on eating a smaller portion (4 oz.) but get the grass fed, grass finished local (if possible) product. Buy your eggs from the farm down the street. Get to know the person raising the eggs. Help them with table scraps if they want, make sure you return your egg crates and start a relationship with that person. These eggs will be so much better on so many levels you will not believe it.
Buy local, buy from people you know when possible and be aware of where your food comes from and how it has been handled. It is your body and you should only put into it food that is good for it.
In terms of preparation…poached, baked, broiled, sautéed, or raw. Never fried, never coated in batter and cooked, never burnt to a crisp. Keep in mind that lean meat does not have the fat in it that the food you are used to has so it will need to cook less and slower and at lower heat. I suggest wrapping the protein in leaves to help keep the moisture in during the cooking process.

Yes you can eat vegetables. Lots of them, as a matter of fact. Your plate should be full of green stuff and the more different kinds the better. Try to be aware of what is in season and eat those things. It will help keep you in the cycle of life. So, now in the fall, squash is prevalent, late leaves like spinach and chard, some melons, beets, and other root vegetables. Buying blueberries from Chile is not good food management even if they are organic. These berries were not made to travel thousands of mile so you can eat them out of season. And the footprint to get them to your table is horrendous.
I often play a game to see how many different kinds of greens I can get on one plate in one meal. I think my personal best is 17! Now it is easier in the height of the growing season when you have a garden in your back yard but it is still doable for many of us. Don’t be afraid to branch out into greens you have never used before. What’s the worst thing that can happen? You hate it and put it in the compost pile right? Oh well, then move on!
In terms of preparation…steamed, roasted, grilled, and sautéed. Try not to boil and again never fried and batter coated or breaded…defeats the whole purpose of what we are doing. I love roasted and grilled veggies and will grill broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots or just about anything. I have a special pan, round and flat with ridges that I rub with olive oil and grill the veggies in…very simple and fast. And you can use whatever spices you enjoy.

Yes, you can eat fruit. You should limit your fruit intake to one or two servings per day though. Fruit can be more calorie dense that we want and may trigger (for some of us) a craving for sugar. Dried fruit is even more dangerous so go very easy here. It is very easy to over eat dried fruit and the sugar content is very high. Again try to source from local and organic sources for your fruit.

Yes you can eat nuts and seeds. This is a great time of year for them as a matter of fact. Cracking your own nuts is a great activity and it slows down how many nuts you can actually eat. Again nuts in particular are very calorie dense so it is easy to over eat these. If you find yourself eating handful after handful you will need to institute some portion control (on the other hand it is still waaay better than a bag of Doritos!). Seeds are less calorie dense but still a little self control will go a long way. Hazel nuts, Brazil nuts, macadamia nuts, pumpkin seeds, and sunflower seeds are all good choices. Do I need to say to eat them raw, not roasted with salt and oil?

Fat is not the enemy, Fat is your friend. Fat will help with your feeling full, fat will help you with energy and fat will help your immune system. Avocados, nuts, seeds, olives, and coconut are all great choices. Coconut is one of the most prevalent natural fat sources on the planet. You can find it in so many different forms it is ridiculous. Just make sure you are getting the real deal and not with sugar added or other adulterants. You can cook with it, eat it raw or drink the milk and it is all good. Avocados are in season now and are a really great source of fat. Try eating on a day for a snack and see what happens to your energy and mental clarity.

So there you have it. Lots of good food available to you. We live in an abundant society. There are so many great choices for us there are no reasons to eat processed edible non-food products. Eat close to the ground; enjoy your food with people you love. Learn to love to cook and experiment in the kitchen…I do!

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Food cont'd.

Sunday Story…Food, continued

Over the centuries we have changed our dietary eating habits to accommodate many things. And many of these habits do not serve to take us into “optimum” health. What they do is allow us to survive. A diet of Calorie Rich But Pathetic (CRAP) food will keep you alive but it will not allow you to thrive. It will not allow your physical body to be all it was designed to be. We drop bags of wheat off to starving people around the world and it keeps them alive. The same with powdered milk. So there is always a question of scale.

The most common comment I hear clients say in my dietary practice is “I eat pretty good.” This is always a comment that requires more explanation. And it begs the next question: Compared to what? What I am about to propose to you will seem more than a little radical. But the fact is certain food groups are having a negative effect on your health without you even knowing it. Foods like grains, dairy, and legumes are pervasive in our diets. These foods came about thousands of years ago and our digestive systems have never evolved to properly digest these foods. These foods do things inside our bodies that our bodies react negatively to.

Ask yourself these questions:
Are you energy levels inconsistent or non-existent?
Do you have aches and pains that exist without injury or overuse?
Are you still carrying a few extra pounds that you just can’t get rid of no matter how hard you exercise?
Do you have skin allergies or other skin related issues?
Do you have digestive problems?
Do you have seasonal allergies?
Do you have chronic conditions? (Asthma, Lupus, CFS, etc)
Many of these symptoms are related to your diet. Even if your diet is organic and “clean”. So even healthy stuff may not be good for you!! These food groups (grains, dairy, legumes, even potatoes) are inflammatory, insulin spiking, calorie dense, and nutritionally sparse. You need to eliminate them from your diet completely.

Yes you read that correctly…FOR 30 DAYS…no grain (bread, pasta, rice, tortillas, corn, quinoa, noodles, etc, etc,), no dairy (yogurt, milk, cheese, butter, cow, goat, etc.) no legumes (beans, peas, peanuts, peanut butter), no potatoes (russets, yukons, new), no sugar or sweeteners (white sugar, stevia, sucralose, agave, maple syrup), no processed foods (if it comes in a box don’t eat it including protein bars), no alcohol.

Eating like this will change your life. This is a fact borne out by testimonies and more by hundreds of people who have already done it. It will change your emotional relationship with food and that would be reason enough for most of us. We are attached to food through our emotions, often our self esteem and self control are all tied up and messed up around food. Eating like this has the potential to change the way you eat for the rest of your life.
Whatever will you eat?
Real food…food that is identifiable by origin…food that does not require a label or a box to come home in…Meat, fish, eggs, vegetables, some fruit, nuts, seeds, coconut, olives, olive oil, and avocado. In other words food that are the ingredient list. Food that is fresh and natural. Eat it raw, steamed, broiled, sautéed, baked but never fried.

Some notes…
• Processed meat is ok if you can find it without nitrates, glutens, dairy, and casein.
• Sun butter can be used as long as it has no sugar added.
• Be very careful with dried fruit…they are the candy bars of the natural food world. And the last thing you want is that insulin spike that sends you the candy dish.
• Green beans, sugar snap and snow peas are ok since they are more pod than bean.
• Coffee and black tea in moderation or go hard core and test your caffeine addiction/sensitivity and let those go too. Drink them black or if you must, a little coconut milk.
• Vinegar is ok in small quantities for salad dressings and the like.
• Go easy adding salt to your food.
Simple right? So how are you going to do this? Here is the step by step approach:
1. Decide to start now. Right now. Today. Figure out the 30 days and go to the health food store, whole foods, farmer’s market, grocery and buy the food you will be eating.
2. Just do it. Cold Turkey. No excuses, no reasons why not. You job over the next 30 days is to only worry about food choices. Not your weight, not how much you are eating, not your measurements. Just your food choices.
3. Figure out how to do this in a restaurant or at a friend’s house.
4. Give it the full 30 days. The first few days will be the most trying…your body will be healing and changing, your brain will need to get used to doing without all those sugars and sweets.
Keep in mind the healing process will take at least 14 days and the drive to create new habits take at least 21 days. And the mental addictions and emotional connections to sugary foods, large amounts of carbohydrates (also sugars), and the chemically created and altered flavors will take even longer.
Be prepared to change the way you eat forever. If you only do this as a challenge you are shorting yourself. Start thinking about what you are eating, why you are eating and how you feel, before, during, and after you eat it. There is a magic in eating this way. But the magic requires a serious buy in and effort on your part. You will need to make sure you are eating enough. You will need to plan meals, decide what you can eat when you eat out. And develop the will power to say no. You do not HAVE to eat anything. You get to choose and decide what goes in your mouth.

Getting in shape is not easy. Eating this way is not easy. But neither is it “hard”. Let’s be honest…quitting heroin is hard, walking 5 miles each way for dirty water every day is hard, fighting cancer is hard. Eating vegetables and drinking black coffee is not hard so give that up.

Here’s the reward for your buy-in:
You will feel better
Your performance will improve
Your recovery will be quicker
Your body composition will change (think less fat and more muscle)
You will be amazed at the wonderful fresh, natural and delicious foods out there that you can prepare with joy and love.
Go ahead and give it a try…you really have nothing to lose (except your aches, pains, unwanted and unsightly fat, chronic disease conditions and more!).
If you need coaching on doing this… call me. I am here for you!

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Food as We know it

Sunday Story…Food as We know It

Food is one of the most important things in your life. Right after air and water, without food life becomes very difficult very quickly. Yet we treat food like it doesn’t count. We worry about air pollution and second hand smoke. We worry about the quality of our water…so much so that we spend about $10.00 a gallon for bottled water. Yet we go to the store and buy the cheapest, worst quality food we can get, without much consideration to the stuff that may be on or in that food.

This does not make much sense. As a matter of fact it is a bit of a paradox. The food I eat is directly related to my health and yet I begrudgingly spend every dollar I have to on the food I put in my body. At no time in history and nowhere else on the planet has a country ever spent less on their food than we do here in America when computed as a percentage of income.

We live in a society of abundance. The grocery store has thousands of products for us to choose from and in most areas there is more than one store to go to. Yet with all those choices we are swiftly becoming the most malnourished people on the planet. We eat but we don’t get nourished. It’s kind of like hearing but not listening or looking without seeing. Eating and dying of starvation.

One of the major problems in our abundance is the huge amount of misinformation there is available to us. Food labels are purposefully deceptive. What we are sold as healthy may not be healthy, except to the food manufacturers’ bottom line. And their job is to sell more food, sell it at the highest profit possible, and get it to the consumer as cheap as they can make it. It is kind of like accepting the lowest bid for your brain surgery. Do you really want the cheapest doctor and hospital performing your brain surgery? Or do you want the best?

Food is the same. Do you really want the cheapest food you can put in your body…the foods that were produced with cheapest ingredients, without an eye toward quality control? Or do you want to put the best most nourishing food into the temple that is your body?

If you answered yes to that last question….keep reading. If you answered no, well, you can keep reading but I don’t know why you would. The manufactured food industry has only the best interest of their shareholders at heart. Their job is to addict you to the food you are eating, so you buy more and more food and consume more and more food. 20 years ago there was no 64oz big gulp. Coffee wasn’t served in 24 oz cups. Folks a cup of coffee is supposed to be 6-8 oz. If you are consuming a 24 oz coffee you are getting about 4 servings of coffee! Small wonder why your adrenal glands are over worked…caffeine is a stress producing agent in your body.
We are addicted to the worst parts of the processed food on our plates. Sugar, fat and salt are all served in abundance in processed food. And the processed food companies have figured out how to produce food with those ingredients in just the right proportions to do three things…#1 create an environment in your body that will have you demand more of those products, #2 have you feel poorly when you don’t get them, #3 make them just cheap enough that feel like you are getting a great deal. And they are making a killing on killing you. Killing you slowly yes but killing you nonetheless.

Granted you have free will to choose whether or not to eat them. But the marketing arms of these companies are very very good at their jobs. Why else would they use cartoon characters to addict your children? Why else would they appeal to your health sensitivities by making claims like…”all natural” or “like nature intended” or “low fat” (but high sugar) or “low in carbs” (but high fat)? The marketing of food is a billion dollar industry. And it has one job…to convince you to eat more of their product. King size candy bars? Liters of soda or Gatorade or juice all designed and packaged to get you to drink or eat even more. Folks you are going to have to take charge of your health and that means taking charge of the food you eat.

And you are what you eat. And you are what your food ate or what was put on it. So if your beef ate steroids, antibiotics, chicken litter (that’s right the beef industry fed over 1 million tons of chicken waste to their beef in feed lots last year!), growth hormones and who know what else you are eating that stuff. And if the chicken you are eating was washed in bleach to kill the nasty little bugs left on it (from fecal material no less) guess what you are getting some too. Cows are supposed to eat grass not other cows, chicken poop, or corn. Chickens are supposed to eat bugs and seeds, and green things not other animals.

So where do you start? How do you get off this roller coaster? Start by reading every label on every product you are buying. If you don’t want to read then don’t buy food that has labels! No label on carrots, broccoli or apples. Buy meat from non-factory farms. Yes it will cost more so eat less. A portion of protein should be about 4 oz. or about the size of your palm. The rest of your plate should be green! If you think this is expensive you should look at your whole food budget and then look at how much you can get from the produce aisle. By cutting out manufactured foods you will be surprised how much you can save to buy the good foods. And if we factor in the loss of production because you are sick more often than you should be, the rising cost of sick care, and the lost years of your life due to poor diet choices well the cost of eating good food that is good for you goes way down.

I will go on about this again next week. It is so important to your health that you eat in a way that serves your optimum health and fitness. And that serves your psychological relationship with food. Don’t try to change it all at once though…going cold turkey on sugar and glucose after a lifetime of addiction will not only be hard on your psyche but your body will go through withdrawal and then you really won’t want to do it. Be gentle on yourself and understand that the journey to eating for health and fitness begins with a decision to begin.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Free at Last

Sunday Story...Free at Last

A lot has been made recently of living in a “free society”. We Americans make a lot of living free. We have the freedom to do this or that. The freedom to choose our careers, how much money we make, the people we associate with, and the freedom to say what we want when we want about whatever we want.

Not so many years ago, it was unusual to have many of these freedoms. If you were born into a particular family you were expected to be a black smith, or a cook, or a politician. Your career was chosen by the family you were born into. It didn't matter that you were a great artist, or writer or shop clerk, you had to be a black smith, or garbage collector or farmer. It was the lot you drew.

Today, in this country, you can be anything you choose to be. You can be anything, or anybody you choose to be, do, or have. In many ways this is unprecedented in the history of the world. For centuries we never had this freedom. We were doomed to be pigeon-holed into a particular place due to the circumstances of our birth. To break free of that hold was treasonous, and blasphemous. It was considered reason to dis-own your children or to be placed in an institution, or even burned at the stake. Difference was to be feared and corrected, not celebrated and enjoyed.

Today is different. We encourage our children to dream the impossible dream. To reach for the stars and hit the moon. To be all they can be. To find their reason to be. To become what they can become.

And at the same time we stuff them into classrooms where obedience and conformity are rewarded. Where your test score is more important then your creativity. And yet how are we going to measure creativity, or even, does it need to be measured?

I teach martial arts. Conformity is important on a number of levels for a number of reasons. So is obedience. So is group-think. And at the same time independent thinking, reasoning and deciding is important. These two things get balanced over time for each individual.

I need each student to be the person they should be. Not the person I need them to be. What kind of world would it be if everyone was exactly how I needed them to be all the time. I mean really would that be any fun at all? Everyone I come into contact with reacts exactly the way I think they should. Says the things I want them to say, and does what I think they should do. Wow what a great place that is! And, unfortunately, it does not exist.

You are going to be you and I am going to be me. And the me is the me of all the combined experiences I have had over my lifetime. I am going to be me. I am going to be, do, say what I need to do based on my needs and wants, not yours. Just like you.

And you get the freedom to decide what to do about that.

This is the first, last, and, maybe, the only freedom you really have. The freedom to decide how you are going to react. The freedom to choose your attitude. The freedom to decide how you are going to react to any given situation.

You can take everything from me...my family, my livelihood, mu physical freedom, my mental freedom...but you can't take my freedom to choose my attitude. It is impossible for you to take. But I can give it up. I can choose to let it go and this choice is tantamount to choosing death. Because in the moment of allowing you to choose my reactions, my attitude, I have given up all my power to you. I am, in that moment, helpless and at your mercy. I give up my life, my power to you, and you get to put me where you want me.

Allowing this to happen is not good for me. I need to keep a hold of my ability to choose my attitude. This is my first and last freedom.

And then, shortly after keeping this power is the power to create meaning of what is happening to me. We all do this all day, every day...we create meaning abut what happened. So and so said this ...that means they don't like me, they really like, they are mad at me, they think I am ______(fill in the blank here with whatever you are thinking!). And make no mistake about it this is a choice...So why not choose something empowering, something that will cast that person and you in the best possible light? Wouldn't this be better than the worst light?

You are free to make this choice. Why not make the choice that will serve you best? Isn't that real freedom?

Here is a recipe for your end of the year tomatoes:
Chop tomatoes into chunks
place into a baking dish with about 10 or 12 diced cloves of garlic
sprinkle with 3 or 4 tbsp or fresh basil
drizzle with olive oil
Roast in the oven at 450 degrees for about 45 minutes.
Use like tomato sauce or in soups or just about anywhere.
You can freeze for later too!


Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com
 
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Sunday Story...Birthday

Sunday Story…Birthday

Tomorrow is my birthday. The day, that 54 years ago I came into the world this time. Yet in many ways, today is my birthday. And Tomorrow. And the day after and the day after that too. Each day is a gift that was never promised. You never know what may happen. An accident. Some circumstance of the juxtaposition of the wrong time and the wrong place that ends your time. Some freak of genetic predisposition. You just don’t know.

I am planning on living to 150. But that could easily change through no fault or effort of mine. At the same time I am planning and living for longevity, I am also planning and living like there is no promise of tomorrow. How can I do both things at once?

Present moment awareness. I am aware of the precious nature of this moment as I sit at the keyboard writing this to you. This is what I am meant to do right here and right now. In an hour or two I will be doing something else and that will be what I am supposed to be doing then. And while I am doing those things I am not planning, not doing anything else but that thing. This is both a hard concept and a hard practice. Too often we let our attention drift to the next thing or the thing we would rather be doing. So is what you are doing right now on purpose? And not just intentionally…you may be doing the thing you are doing intentionally but is it also part of your purpose, your mission, your reason for being here and now? And if not then why oh why are you doing it?

Even in those moment of doing nothing…sitting under a tree, meditating, or (heaven to forbid) watching some mindless drivel on the box…are you present to that very moment? And are you aware of how that is serving (or not) your purpose? Awareness is the first step.

We often become more aware of these moments on days like our birthday. Another year has passed and we get to look back and see what we did or didn’t do the things that were a joy and a blessing and the things that were not so hot. The things we did, the words we said, the thought we were thinking all go into a review of our year and we can decide to do better. Because we can always do better.

Action is the next step. If you are not aware right now of doing what you really want to do then why not? Maybe you don’t know what you really want to do. Maybe you are afraid to even admit that. Maybe you are afraid to really look deep and figure it out. Step back and do it. Then start taking action toward what it is that you really want to be doing. What your purpose is. Make a plan and start working the plan. Is what you are doing right now what you really want to do? For me, right now, this is what I want to be doing…writing this note to you. In the larger picture, writing every week is what I want to be doing. Teaching, leading, inspiring, and transforming are all what I want to be doing. I do them on purpose, with purpose, because of purpose.

Reflecting back on those things and celebrating what worked and what didn’t work. There were no failures unless I did not learn the lesson. That is true failure…not learning the lesson When something happens that I did not think was going to happen I need to get the lesson. I need to learn form that happening. At my birthday or at the end of the year or the quarter I can take the time and with full awareness look at the happening and discover the lessons and learn. Then I can take those lessons and create new plans, dreams, goals, and efforts.

Your passions may even change. I know mine have over the years. I can remember more than once thinking and saying THIS is what I was meant to do. And I really believed it at the time. At in that moment it was true. Now, I have a passion for gardening and giving food away. A passion for transforming lives in health, wealth and personal empowerment. This is what I am supposed to be doing right here and right now.

And transforming my own life. Living on purpose, with purpose, of purpose. To live a healthy and happy life of 150 years will take more than a little something. It will take embracing new ideas, and new mission. Healing the damage that has been done physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Repairing that damage and doing the hard work. Living in harmony. Not in balance but in harmony in a way that serves the purpose. 150 years is made up of many many days, hours, moments. And every moment is precious and singular. And each moment, when built upon the others makes a life.

Maybe you don’t want to be 150. Maybe you just want to have some harmony today. Maybe you want to have less pain and suffering today. Maybe you want to be present to the divinity of this moment. So what are you doing about it? Right now? What are you doing that will serves your purpose, on purpose? When you get up from reading this…what will you do that you really want to do? What will you do that will follow your passion. How will you make a difference today?

Live long and prosper. Plan on it. Plan for it. Live today like tomorrow wasn’t promised yet live today like there were 10,000 tomorrows and you want to be fully present and accounted for in each one.

Happy Birthday to you.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
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Sunday Story...Swan Song

Sunday Story…Swan Song

I was walking through the garden this afternoon and noticing that death is in the air. A little more than a hint, it is definitely there. Many of the plants are dying, the tomatoes a ripening much more slowly, the squash is looking like, well squash. The cool weather crops are flourishing.

The other day I dug out my light windbreaker to shield myself form the chill in the air while I ride my bike to the studio. Long pants are also necessary, at least for the morning commute. It won’t be long before a beanie and gloves will be welcome accessories.

Fortunately I live in a place where this shift is slow and easy, yet inexorable. It is going to happen, there is no doubt of that, but here we will enjoy warm temperatures during the day and progressively cooler as we move toward Halloween. With some luck we will pick the end of the summer bounty until then.

This is the cycle of life. A cycle each of us is part of whether we accept it or not. I cannot stop the onset of autumn and winter any more than I can stop the sun from coming up tomorrow. It is going to happen. We need it to happen. When we learn to deal with it and learn to love it, our gratitude for life goes up. I am thankful that winter is drawing near…it allows all of us to slow down and turn back to the inside of ourselves, much like the earth is turning back into itself. To rest, to reflect and to regenerate is the purpose of this part of the cycle.

As the world turns is not just the name of a soap opera. The world turns. It really is simple. And despite the efforts we make to make it stop it will continue to turn. We keep trying to ignore the cycle…we do it by having heated swimming pools and by having any food we want whenever we want it. We can eat raspberries in December, asparagus in October, and bananas whenever we want. This is not part of the natural cycle and it interferes with our own natural cycles.

Imagine for a moment if you had to eat the food that grew where you live, when it grew or you would have to save/preserve it somehow for use at a later time. Getting fresh things out of season is a very modern phenomenon, aided by transportation, hybrid produce and big agriculture. We also have facilitated the machine by acting like small children ourselves…I want it, I want it now, and I will do whatever it takes to get it.

This attitude is in direct conflict to the attitude of gratitude for what we do have and what nature provides to us. It is also in conflict with the idea that we should plan and direct our lives in accordance with the natural world around us. We are doing this everywhere in our lives. We get sick and expect the Doctor to fix us right now…give me 2 blue pills and 3 white ones and make it all better, just like when you were little and Mom could kiss the boo-boo away. We buy what we want when we want it rather save money for it. It is an attitude of entitlement not enlightenment. Is it difficult to plan for winter in the spring? Is it hard to spend savings on the things you really want rather than just flip out the plastic? Of course it is.

If it was easy everyone would do it. It isn’t easy and it isn’t really all that simple. It requires fore-thought and considered action. Just like your life. If I just throw some seeds out the back door I might or might not have a vegetable garden in the summer. And if I don’t plan for winter I might not have any food. But we have “liberated ourselves from such day to day considerations. We can just buy and have and use whatever we want with no thought or planning for the future.

This is childish. This is a recipe for disaster. This is the financial crisis of today. We didn’t plan for winter. We thought we could have whatever we wanted with no thought about having to pay for it. And now all of us are paying for it in ways we never imagined.

It is in the planning that the reward lies. In the depth of looking out forward by looking back and staying present to the here and now. Enjoying the summer of ripe tomatoes and fresh picked lettuce and storing the beets and the acorn squash for meals in the winter. Looking at my life and having a map of where I want to go by making plans and then working those plans. Going into winter and doing the hard work of introspection, the honest labor of looking at what is working and what is not, and the why. Then taking the responsibility for fixing it and making a new plan to get where I really want to be.

All of this is the cycle of life we all are part of. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you live or what you do, you are intricately tied to this cycle. It is happening whether you like it or not. So let’s get on board and use it to our best advantage. You are aging…what are you doing about it? Are you planning for the future or are you just accepting your fate like some poor bovine in the kill line? Your finances are a mess? What are you doing about it? Have you changed, shifted, or altered your habits? Your health is not so hot? Are you eating the same stuff that got you that way?

Come on lets accept responsibility for our actions both past and future. Let’s get radical and make plans that will serve us in the winter so we can grow and thrive in the spring.

See you around the fire…

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story..Man or Mouse

Sunday Story…Man or Mouse

Every once in awhile I really don’t want to sit down and write this thing. It’s a beautiful day and I could be doing lots of other things. Many of you might even say…so don’t write it this week. Just take a week off and no one is going to notice. After over 2 years and over 100 posts you can take a break.

I suppose I could. But I know a number of you would notice and wonder what was going on. I might get a phone call or an email to inquire what happened to their story. Was I sick? Did something happen? And to answer …”oh, I just didn’t feel up to it today”…is just a little more than lame.

Yet how often do we do just that. Blow something off just because we didn’t “feel” like it today. How many workouts have been lost to that feeling? How many worthwhile projects didn’t get done because someone just didn’t feel like it? Or maybe it isn’t “fun” today. So I’m not going to do it. Isn’t life supposed to be all fun and games?

What if Thomas Edison decided he didn’t feel like working on the light bulb after finding about 100 ways it wouldn’t work? Maybe A. Lincoln should have given up after losing the first 2 elections of his career because it wasn’t fun anymore. Perhaps you should have quit trying to walk after you fell the first dozen or so times. After all how fun is it to get up and fall down over and over and over again?

Sometimes we have to do things because we said we would do them. I am committed to writing this story every week. It is called the Sunday Story, not the every other Sunday Story or the once a month Sunday Story. And honestly even if it was the once a month story there would be times when I wouldn’t feel like writing it then either. It isn’t about the writing or the story, it’s about all the other choices there are in the world. Working in the garden, mowing the lawn, sitting in a hot tub, taking a nap, reading a book are all things that come to mind as alternatives to this. So why do it? Why do it just because I said I would do it?

There are lots of time in my life I haven’t done what I said I would do. Women I said I would love forever, that I would hold and take care of, commitments I made that I broke. After all, those commitments are so much bigger than 1000 words on the screen. Well…I was wrong. I failed. I didn’t do what I said I was going to do. Maybe I received information that had me change my commitment. Maybe I was to chicken to admit the failure to myself and to them. This is and was wrong.

What do we do in light of new information? What if I get information that I can no longer keep this commitment to you …to keep writing and sending you a story each and every week? What then? Just stop? Just let it go because I don’t “feel” like it anymore?

No I would write a final letter, a good bye story a swan song if you will. And no, this is not it. Too often we just let things go. It is easier to walk off than it is to say good bye. It is easier to pretend it isn’t our responsibility to confess we are unable to do what we said we were going to do. It admits a deep fault within us and whoever wants to do that? After all aren’t I perfect? Or at least I like to think I am a good person, and conscious and caring and righteous and more.

And what about those things that we have already walked away from? That we just quit without saying why, or what or far thee well? At the very least don’t you think you owe it to yourself to own your bad behavior? Maybe you can’t go back and apologize or finish the thing you started…sometimes it is too late, the opportunity has passed and everyone has moved on. Yet that little nick in the fabric of your commitment cape is still there and it needs to be mended. And the person who needs it mended is you.

You are your own super hero or your own alter ego. Are you Clark Kent or Superman? Granted, sometime we go back and forth but the guy we all look up to is Superman, not the wishy washy, unsure and mousy Clark. No, we want to be more like Superman…confident, daring, calm, brave, Committed. Too bad Superman could not walk around the streets all the time just so we could see him in his everyday life, when he wasn’t flying around saving the world. We know Superman would follow up on his commitments. That he would do the right thing, eat the right food, and do the things that were in concert with who he was each and every day.

You are Superman. Maybe in some moments you are Clark but really you are Superman. You might not like to admit it because then you will have to be that person. You will have to be committed and you will have to be conscious and calm and brave and daring. Lets step out of the phone book and step into your Superman tights and cape start flying around to save the world. Keep your word.

I just did.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story…Love, American Style

There is a very long standing relationship I have had. It is, in fact, the one I have had longer than any other. It seems as if it will never end, and frankly, it won’t ever end. It has been good and bad, better and worse. There have been times when I turned my back and tried to walk away, only to be pulled back into the mix. At this point I am trying my hardest to make it work every day, every moment.

I am 100% responsibility for this relationship, as I am for all my relationships. But this one is really all me. The relationship I am speaking of, the relationship that has lasted my whole life and will continue for my entire life is the one I have with myself. That’s correct…the relationship I have with myself.

This is the most important relationship I have, the most important one I have ever had, or will ever have. Myself. The person who is with me every day, the person who has witnessed all my triumphs and my ignominious defeats and the one who has stood next to me without a thought of leaving me. This person is not perfect; they judge me, sometime harshly. This person sometimes treats me like a child (small wonder since the memory of the child is there). This person often stands in my way of acting powerfully out of fear and memories of past losses. Sometimes this is a good thing and others it is just an impediment.

The older I get the more important it seems that this relationship has become. There have been many times over the years that I turned my back on myself. I have crossed boundaries that hurt me. I have done things that were not in alignment with who I was at the time. And although I have apologized to the other people I hurt sometimes I didn’t apologize to myself. And I drove the core of who I am deeper and deeper underground until the relationship with me became just a ghost of what is was before.

Often we deny ourselves the measures of self-care that we need to nurture our self. There are those times when we need to relax and start listening to the voices inside our heads. Sometimes we have to stop and listen and then start taking care of the person living inside of us. I am guilty of this way too often. I push and push and push and don’t always take the time to just relax and decompress and give myself some compliments and congratulations for working hard, trying to improve myself and the world around me, and just for being who I am in the world today.

I know lots of people who engage in more than a little measure of self hate. Their relationships with their interior self is so damaged that the idea of self care is foreign. For many of these people the only time they get any self care is when they are so sick they just have no choice. How sick do you want to get before you are forced to take care of your inner self? And all those parts of you floating around inside slowly dis-integrating. There are each important and pulling you in different ways. They all need care…the small child (yes your “inner child”), the rebellious teen, the broken hearted one, the lover, the king/queen/ the magician, the priest/priestess, the warrior all need your love and care. The closer we bring them into the family the more we become integrated and can start the kind of relationship with ourselves that will be both healthy and whole.

You are an amazing person. You should treat yourself to an attitude of gratitude for all the things you do, and all the things you have done over your life. All the little accomplishments, like making your bed, and the big ones like the graduations, the children, and the care for others. This is the first step of re-building that relationship with you. Love yourself and all you have done both good and not so good. You are a precious human being and really need to treat yourself as such. I am reminded of the very famous quote from Marianne Williamson on the subject (often attributed incorrectly to Nelson Mandela):
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

It is in all of us. Love yourself; you are a child of the divine. You are a special, precious, amazing and perfect creation. If you don’t love you it make it very hard for the rest of us to love you and we really want to love you, you know.
Take some time this weekend, today and spend a few minutes appreciating you. You will be glad you did.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Feel Good Friday...Stand and Deliver

Feel Good Friday…Stand and Deliver

Most of us remember Jaime Escalante the math teacher from the inner city school in Los Angeles made famous by the movie “Stand and Deliver.” What many of us never really considered was the legacy he left behind through his teaching. Where are those kids now? What did his teaching really impact and how? Here is a short 2 minute video and gives us just a taste of the legacy of a life devoted to service…

http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=2035

How about you do you have “ganas”? That may be his real legacy…giving kids who didn’t have any or any hope of “ganas” to get some!

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Fear, Pain, and Power

Sunday Story…Fear, Pain, and Power

Fear
What are you afraid of? Really really, wake you up in the middle of night afraid? Fear rules our modern lives in so many ways. We are constantly bombarded by the next disaster or the threat of some attack from some unknown purveyor of death and destruction. Or maybe the next really bad disease that has been discovered. And you should take this pharmaceutical method to fix the disease you probably don’t have and the side effects of the pharmaceutical method just might kill you (but the disease won’t by the way!).
Should you really be afraid of these things? These modern anxiety causing problems that abound and cause you to be less than you are here to be. I think not.
What should you be afraid of? Failure? Success? Public Speaking? Burning Dinner? Those Crazy Hippies? I suppose you get to decide but it seems to me that being afraid of things you can’t do anything about…like the weather, the terrorist threat or unknown diseases is really silly. The things you might have some control over might be sort of OK to be afraid of but not the things you can’t do anything about.

Pain
Pain is inevitable. You are going to stub your toes both physically and metaphorically. You are going to have a broken heart, a business or career setback, and disappointments that may or may not have been avoidable, just to name a few. What you do with that pain is up to you. Many people decide that suffering is the way to go. Suffering is optional. You get to decide whether your pain and suffering goes together. You also get to decide whether fear is going to be pain’s companion.
As humans we are conditioned to move away from pain. If the fire is too hot I move away from it. If you twist my arm in a way that is pain inducing I will move in such a way that the pain will lessen. Yet pain is going to happen.
What should we do about pain? Accept it? Go with it? Rail against it? Run from it? You get to decide but pain is going to happen.

Power
Power is what we get from making decisions about fear and pain. I get power from taking control of my fear. I get power from deciding that pain may be inevitable but suffering is not.
Turning fear into power is one of the most potent processes you will ever experience. The transformation of fear is one of the most exciting alchemical processes known to man. Yet it can only happen when fear is faced and recognized and named. Once I have named my fear I can proceed to transform it into an ally. When fear resides in the shadows it gets dimensions larger than reality. How many times have you seen something in the distance that looked a little scary, a little foreign, and built an entire fear based story around that yet to be revealed thing. And once you realized the thing was nothing the fear vanished. We fear the monster in the closet, the one lurking under the bed, yet once the light comes on there is no monster and the fear goes. At that moment the moment of revelation we are filled with the power of knowing our fear and transforming it.
Transferring pain into power is a similar process. So is turning pain into suffering. Although transferring pain into suffering is a process that requires a lot less effort and strength. When I face my pain, the pain of emotion or physical pain, and when I name my pain, I can begin the process of uniting pain and power.
Both fear and pain can be great motivators. We will change our habits on a dime when faced with death. Smokers quit after 25, 30, or even 40 years of a daily habit when they realize their fear of death is greater than their love of smoking. Emotional pain can drive me into therapy and into personal growth that I would never even attempt without the pain.
These things, fear and pain, are allies and friends. They force me into power if I choose to ally with them. Or I can cower in the corner, defeated before I begin. I can whine and bemoan my plight and suffer through life. Looking deeply into the shadows, casting light on the fear and pain will allow you to live your life, proud and confident, even though you know more pain and fear will arise. You welcome them now, you want the lessons they bring.
Often we see people in love with their pain, in love with the monsters in the closet. These monsters are familiar and in a way comforting. The fear of the unknown…what might happen if I get rid of my favorite monsters …will new ones appear (yes)? Will they be not so friendly (probably in the beginning)? The fear of change is greater than the pleasure that may result from the change, so I stay stuck, mired in my fear and pain, happy in my unhappiness.
To find power in fear, power in pain I must be willing to love them and leave them behind. They served their purpose and now I learn from them and let them go. Will more pain and fear arise? Of course they will. But as we exercise the ability to recognize the lessons fear and pain bring us we can move faster and faster into power until power becomes our default position, not cowering in fear or agonizing about pain.
You’ve got the power. Use it.



Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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