Sunday Story…A Fish in Water

A few months ago (seems like a lifetime!) I visited Costa Rica for a week or so. As you probably know the language of Costa Rica is Spanish. I don’t speak Spanish. I was reminded of this fact almost constantly. Street signs, menus, list of products, explanations in tourist spots…all in Spanish. All the people are speaking in Spanish. The dominant culture relies on Spanish.

When I left home I didn’t really think about the fact that I speak English. It’s my natural state. When in Costa Rica I was constantly reminded (by myself) that I speak English, not Spanish. I benefit from being part of the dominant culture and when I am not part of the dominant culture I struggle and I stress. Will I be able to make myself understood? Will I manage even though I can’t speak Spanish? Will I be taken advantage of because I am an English speaker?

I was reminded every day that I was living in a different culture, one that I was not really a part of since my ability to communicate was remedial at best. All the systems, the media, the standards were telling me that I didn’t fit in, that I didn’t belong. The people of Costa Rica weren’t doing that…they were kind and considerate and understanding of my clumsy attempts at communication. But the dominant culture had me at a disadvantage.

Now imagine the dominant culture can’t be fixed by something as simple as immersive language lessons. Imagine there is no change you can effect to meld into that culture. You will always be outside looking in, even when you have done everything the dominant culture asked of you. You are still at a decided disadvantage.

A fish doesn’t realize he is swimming in water. There is a lot of “water” in the world I inhabit. I don’t think about the fact that I speak English until I go someplace where they don’t. I don’t realize how unfair, counterproductive, and stressful all the “water” is to people who can’t swim in it. It is going to take a lot of effort to make it work for everyone. It is taking a lot of energy and work to see how it doesn’t work for everyone. The water is everywhere.

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412

Sunday Story…Listening vs. Hearing

Hearing is easy…Listening not so much. Listening is an active process, hearing is passive.

Right now I hear a machine making some noise across the street. It’s a persistent rhythmic noise, yet intermittent. I don’t know what the machine is, I don’t know what it does, and I really don’t care. That is knowledge I don’t care enough to obtain.

Listening, however, is the process of understanding what the sound means. If I truly listen I will need to be engaged. I will need to be interested enough to inquire, to explore, to delve into the reasons, the emotions, and the wherewithal of the noise.

So many of us hear lots of things yet rarely listen. For many people the TV is on in the background all the time. It is background noise. You hear it, it is relatively soothing, like a white noise droning on. You aren’t that interested in it…it’s like the machine across the street, I hear it but I don’t care enough to discover anything about it.

Listening requires me to focus and a commitment to discover what is behind the noise, the intent, the emotions, the experience behind what is making the noise. The scary part of listening is that I might find some things that make me uncomfortable. I might get exposed to things that I have been trying to ignore and avoid.

Before you say I hear you, ask yourself if you are listening.

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
― Stephen R. Covey

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412

Sunday Story…Right or Connected?

All in or all out. Take it or leave it. If you aren’t with us you’re against us. The cancel culture.

I get it. There are times that call for action, not talk. There are things that are so egregious that they cry out for taking a stand, putting your foot down and crying, “No More, Never again.”

Here’s a bit of a sticky wicket, if you will…if I get mad and cut all ties with the offending organization, turn my back on the offender, or refuse any and all attempts at reconciliation there is no way I am going to have a say in the necessary reforms or rehabilitations. If I walk away I can’t participate in making things better and seeing a real and meaningful change take place.

Leaving in disgust, throwing my hands in the air and walking righteously out of the room is certainly one strategy. I will be right. I will be on the correct side. But I won’t be connected to any strategy to fix the problem or make it better.

I could just grin and bear it, live with it or hope and pray it magically gets better. Unfortunately doing that rarely results in anything happening other than the status quo remaining the status quo.

I am part of the problem if I just grin and bear it. If I want things to change I am going to have to dig in, stay connected in the face being unhappy and do what it takes to find and implement solutions.

I can always walk away if I need to. I can always put my head back in the sand and hope it goes away if I just ignore it.

Complaining about a problem doesn’t really move anything forward. Find a solution; try to get a coalition of like minded people together to work on it, spend your time implementing some strategy to make things better. You will find it way more satisfying to solve the problem then you will bitching about it.

“There is a field beyond right and wrong…I will meet you there.” Rumi

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412

Sunday Story…What now?

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Sunday Story…What now?

Is there another shoe to drop? What else could possibly go wrong? We’ve had a pandemic, a shelter in place order, people have been quarantined, now we have a curfew, rioting and looting, and what appears to be a country under siege.

Is there another shoe left? I sure hope not. I feel tired, exhausted with all the upheaval and change going on. I like routine. I like it when things move along in a planned and orderly fashion.

We seem to have made it out of the pandemic. We took 6 or 8 weeks off and continue to have a consciousness about wiping things down, avoiding close contact, and wearing a mask upon request. But it isn’t over, not really. People are still getting sick.

The other problem, though? Not quite as easy to solve. I can’t shelter in place and expect the problems of race, implicit bias, and systemic oppression to go away if I hide in my bunker for a few months. In essence that’s what we have been doing for a long, long time. It hasn’t worked.

We are going to have to show up and do something. We are going to need to call out these problems when we see them. We need to stop “othering” our fellow humans. That person is a human…a human who wants to raise their children in a world that is fair and just…a human who wants a measure of respect and dignity…a human who shares many of the same goals and aspirations with you and I. They aren’t the “Other.” I shouldn’t hate people just because they are different than you or I. It really doesn’t matter what the difference is…sex, race, sexual orientation, religion, homeless, or pick something else to hate about a group.

They are all human just like you and I. And that humanity is what binds us together. Whether we like “those people” or not is irrelevant. What is relevant is their human-ness. What is relevant is seeing in each and every person the light behind their eyes, the hopes, dreams, and aspirations they carry for themselves and their children. No one should feel the need to teach their children how they are different and what to do when faced with being “othered”.

The question What now? Isn’t one of irritation or annoyance, rather it is a question that asks, “What are you going to do now?”

“Be the Change”

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-3382-412