Sunday Story…Pulling the Trigger

As we enter the season of feasts and parties and over-indulgence it is important to recognize this fact: We all have triggers. Thos things that start us on a cycle of overeating or drinking, a cycle of social media rage, or something that feels like it forces us back into our shell. That trigger leads us into a cycle, or more likely a spiral where we continue our behavior even though we know it is detrimental to our overall health/fitness/mental state.

The first question is can you see the cycle? Can you see how it doesn’t work for you in your life? The continuous twitter war with some internet trolls that gets you fired up over something and keeps you fired up for days returning over and over again to the scene of the crime? To break the cycle, to stop the spiral stop pulling the trigger.

Do you know your triggers? Do you know what will start that downward spiral? It is hard to stop a spiral once it starts. It takes a tremendous amount of willpower to cease a cycle once it has taken hold. It is much easier to not pull the trigger at all. It is much easier to control that trigger, to eliminate that trigger than it is to stop the cycle.

Decide to stop pulling the trigger before you are in the pull of the spiral. Eliminate the trigger, eliminate the cycle. Simple, not easy.

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412
Coming soon: www.johnmariotti.com

Sunday Story…Before ABC

A=Awareness
B=Boundaries
C=Confrontation

I have taught self-defense (Fear Adrenaline Stress Training) to hundreds of women, men, and children. The ABC’s was where we started and finished. But as I have listened and read the stories from #metoo, #whyididn’treportit, the recent SCOTUS hearing, and more I have come to the realization that I should have been teaching something before awareness.

Once I am aware of a potential situation (or even just having heightened awareness) it can be too late. Now, that awareness can give me the knowledge needed to recognize the “golden moments” that occur so I can avoid further complications. But what happens before that?

What happens before that is the way we speak about each other. I’m sure none of you have ever said, “that’s gay” and meant it as an insult. I’m sure I’ve never called anyone a p#$#$y and meant to call them weak and powerless. I’m sure no one has ever said things like, “Indian giver” to demean someone who isn’t honest or “trailer trash” to insult a person who isn’t as wealthy or as smart as you. No, none of us has ever used any of those turns of a phrase. Those are just a few of the insults we throw around casually. Often we find them buried in our speech and thought patterns without really knowing they are there.

What happens before that is not owning our no. How many times were you forced to hug or kiss a relative or friend of the family when you didn’t want to just to be “polite or a good boy/girl?” How many times have you asked your children to do the same? We need to proudly own our no. Not say yes when we mean no just to get along or not cause any ripples. On the other side, we also need to say yes when we mean yes. Too often we say no or I don’t know when we want to be asked again or to be pursued. No means no, it shouldn’t mean try again, or not yet, or maybe later (after I’ve had more to drink.)

When we start to fix what happens before awareness we might have a chance to stop the endless cycle of mindless violence. Ending it starts in my mind, my language, and my actions. It starts with me.

Be aware of your internal dialogue first. Own your no and when you are a yes be an unequivocal f%&*k yes!

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.com
775-338-2412
Coming soon: www.johnmariotti.com

Sunday Story…Sinners

And saints. Cops and criminals. Perpetrator and victim.

I am both things. We all are. Think about it.

I have done things that weren’t right, weren’t OK. I have had things done to me that weren’t OK, that weren’t right. I have overstepped my own boundaries and overstepped other people’s boundaries as well. Both things are true. For me to say otherwise would be an untruth.

Admitting this doesn’t remove the stain, nor does it make it worse. What it does is make me more human. My foibles are mine. I need to own them. I need to forgive myself for all the times I didn’t stand up for one of my own boundaries. I need to hope that the boundaries I transgressed weren’t so egregious as to cause permanent damage. If they were, I am sorry. I didn’t realize what I was doing at the time. It wasn’t intentional. I will do my very best not to let it happen again.

We live in a changing culture, one that is almost quicksand. I look back at our attitudes 50 years ago and I see that we were badly mistaken. There were so many things we (especially the we that is I) believed, picked up from various places, said, and did that were, looking back at them now were wrong, very wrong.

As I said, I am sorry. I’m not perfect but I will do better. We (all of us) need to do better.

“There is a field beyond right and wrong. I will meet you there.” - Rumi

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412
Coming soon: www.Johnmariotti.com