Sunday Story...Swan Song

Sunday Story…Swan Song

I was walking through the garden this afternoon and noticing that death is in the air. A little more than a hint, it is definitely there. Many of the plants are dying, the tomatoes a ripening much more slowly, the squash is looking like, well squash. The cool weather crops are flourishing.

The other day I dug out my light windbreaker to shield myself form the chill in the air while I ride my bike to the studio. Long pants are also necessary, at least for the morning commute. It won’t be long before a beanie and gloves will be welcome accessories.

Fortunately I live in a place where this shift is slow and easy, yet inexorable. It is going to happen, there is no doubt of that, but here we will enjoy warm temperatures during the day and progressively cooler as we move toward Halloween. With some luck we will pick the end of the summer bounty until then.

This is the cycle of life. A cycle each of us is part of whether we accept it or not. I cannot stop the onset of autumn and winter any more than I can stop the sun from coming up tomorrow. It is going to happen. We need it to happen. When we learn to deal with it and learn to love it, our gratitude for life goes up. I am thankful that winter is drawing near…it allows all of us to slow down and turn back to the inside of ourselves, much like the earth is turning back into itself. To rest, to reflect and to regenerate is the purpose of this part of the cycle.

As the world turns is not just the name of a soap opera. The world turns. It really is simple. And despite the efforts we make to make it stop it will continue to turn. We keep trying to ignore the cycle…we do it by having heated swimming pools and by having any food we want whenever we want it. We can eat raspberries in December, asparagus in October, and bananas whenever we want. This is not part of the natural cycle and it interferes with our own natural cycles.

Imagine for a moment if you had to eat the food that grew where you live, when it grew or you would have to save/preserve it somehow for use at a later time. Getting fresh things out of season is a very modern phenomenon, aided by transportation, hybrid produce and big agriculture. We also have facilitated the machine by acting like small children ourselves…I want it, I want it now, and I will do whatever it takes to get it.

This attitude is in direct conflict to the attitude of gratitude for what we do have and what nature provides to us. It is also in conflict with the idea that we should plan and direct our lives in accordance with the natural world around us. We are doing this everywhere in our lives. We get sick and expect the Doctor to fix us right now…give me 2 blue pills and 3 white ones and make it all better, just like when you were little and Mom could kiss the boo-boo away. We buy what we want when we want it rather save money for it. It is an attitude of entitlement not enlightenment. Is it difficult to plan for winter in the spring? Is it hard to spend savings on the things you really want rather than just flip out the plastic? Of course it is.

If it was easy everyone would do it. It isn’t easy and it isn’t really all that simple. It requires fore-thought and considered action. Just like your life. If I just throw some seeds out the back door I might or might not have a vegetable garden in the summer. And if I don’t plan for winter I might not have any food. But we have “liberated ourselves from such day to day considerations. We can just buy and have and use whatever we want with no thought or planning for the future.

This is childish. This is a recipe for disaster. This is the financial crisis of today. We didn’t plan for winter. We thought we could have whatever we wanted with no thought about having to pay for it. And now all of us are paying for it in ways we never imagined.

It is in the planning that the reward lies. In the depth of looking out forward by looking back and staying present to the here and now. Enjoying the summer of ripe tomatoes and fresh picked lettuce and storing the beets and the acorn squash for meals in the winter. Looking at my life and having a map of where I want to go by making plans and then working those plans. Going into winter and doing the hard work of introspection, the honest labor of looking at what is working and what is not, and the why. Then taking the responsibility for fixing it and making a new plan to get where I really want to be.

All of this is the cycle of life we all are part of. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you live or what you do, you are intricately tied to this cycle. It is happening whether you like it or not. So let’s get on board and use it to our best advantage. You are aging…what are you doing about it? Are you planning for the future or are you just accepting your fate like some poor bovine in the kill line? Your finances are a mess? What are you doing about it? Have you changed, shifted, or altered your habits? Your health is not so hot? Are you eating the same stuff that got you that way?

Come on lets accept responsibility for our actions both past and future. Let’s get radical and make plans that will serve us in the winter so we can grow and thrive in the spring.

See you around the fire…

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story..Man or Mouse

Sunday Story…Man or Mouse

Every once in awhile I really don’t want to sit down and write this thing. It’s a beautiful day and I could be doing lots of other things. Many of you might even say…so don’t write it this week. Just take a week off and no one is going to notice. After over 2 years and over 100 posts you can take a break.

I suppose I could. But I know a number of you would notice and wonder what was going on. I might get a phone call or an email to inquire what happened to their story. Was I sick? Did something happen? And to answer …”oh, I just didn’t feel up to it today”…is just a little more than lame.

Yet how often do we do just that. Blow something off just because we didn’t “feel” like it today. How many workouts have been lost to that feeling? How many worthwhile projects didn’t get done because someone just didn’t feel like it? Or maybe it isn’t “fun” today. So I’m not going to do it. Isn’t life supposed to be all fun and games?

What if Thomas Edison decided he didn’t feel like working on the light bulb after finding about 100 ways it wouldn’t work? Maybe A. Lincoln should have given up after losing the first 2 elections of his career because it wasn’t fun anymore. Perhaps you should have quit trying to walk after you fell the first dozen or so times. After all how fun is it to get up and fall down over and over and over again?

Sometimes we have to do things because we said we would do them. I am committed to writing this story every week. It is called the Sunday Story, not the every other Sunday Story or the once a month Sunday Story. And honestly even if it was the once a month story there would be times when I wouldn’t feel like writing it then either. It isn’t about the writing or the story, it’s about all the other choices there are in the world. Working in the garden, mowing the lawn, sitting in a hot tub, taking a nap, reading a book are all things that come to mind as alternatives to this. So why do it? Why do it just because I said I would do it?

There are lots of time in my life I haven’t done what I said I would do. Women I said I would love forever, that I would hold and take care of, commitments I made that I broke. After all, those commitments are so much bigger than 1000 words on the screen. Well…I was wrong. I failed. I didn’t do what I said I was going to do. Maybe I received information that had me change my commitment. Maybe I was to chicken to admit the failure to myself and to them. This is and was wrong.

What do we do in light of new information? What if I get information that I can no longer keep this commitment to you …to keep writing and sending you a story each and every week? What then? Just stop? Just let it go because I don’t “feel” like it anymore?

No I would write a final letter, a good bye story a swan song if you will. And no, this is not it. Too often we just let things go. It is easier to walk off than it is to say good bye. It is easier to pretend it isn’t our responsibility to confess we are unable to do what we said we were going to do. It admits a deep fault within us and whoever wants to do that? After all aren’t I perfect? Or at least I like to think I am a good person, and conscious and caring and righteous and more.

And what about those things that we have already walked away from? That we just quit without saying why, or what or far thee well? At the very least don’t you think you owe it to yourself to own your bad behavior? Maybe you can’t go back and apologize or finish the thing you started…sometimes it is too late, the opportunity has passed and everyone has moved on. Yet that little nick in the fabric of your commitment cape is still there and it needs to be mended. And the person who needs it mended is you.

You are your own super hero or your own alter ego. Are you Clark Kent or Superman? Granted, sometime we go back and forth but the guy we all look up to is Superman, not the wishy washy, unsure and mousy Clark. No, we want to be more like Superman…confident, daring, calm, brave, Committed. Too bad Superman could not walk around the streets all the time just so we could see him in his everyday life, when he wasn’t flying around saving the world. We know Superman would follow up on his commitments. That he would do the right thing, eat the right food, and do the things that were in concert with who he was each and every day.

You are Superman. Maybe in some moments you are Clark but really you are Superman. You might not like to admit it because then you will have to be that person. You will have to be committed and you will have to be conscious and calm and brave and daring. Lets step out of the phone book and step into your Superman tights and cape start flying around to save the world. Keep your word.

I just did.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story…Love, American Style

There is a very long standing relationship I have had. It is, in fact, the one I have had longer than any other. It seems as if it will never end, and frankly, it won’t ever end. It has been good and bad, better and worse. There have been times when I turned my back and tried to walk away, only to be pulled back into the mix. At this point I am trying my hardest to make it work every day, every moment.

I am 100% responsibility for this relationship, as I am for all my relationships. But this one is really all me. The relationship I am speaking of, the relationship that has lasted my whole life and will continue for my entire life is the one I have with myself. That’s correct…the relationship I have with myself.

This is the most important relationship I have, the most important one I have ever had, or will ever have. Myself. The person who is with me every day, the person who has witnessed all my triumphs and my ignominious defeats and the one who has stood next to me without a thought of leaving me. This person is not perfect; they judge me, sometime harshly. This person sometimes treats me like a child (small wonder since the memory of the child is there). This person often stands in my way of acting powerfully out of fear and memories of past losses. Sometimes this is a good thing and others it is just an impediment.

The older I get the more important it seems that this relationship has become. There have been many times over the years that I turned my back on myself. I have crossed boundaries that hurt me. I have done things that were not in alignment with who I was at the time. And although I have apologized to the other people I hurt sometimes I didn’t apologize to myself. And I drove the core of who I am deeper and deeper underground until the relationship with me became just a ghost of what is was before.

Often we deny ourselves the measures of self-care that we need to nurture our self. There are those times when we need to relax and start listening to the voices inside our heads. Sometimes we have to stop and listen and then start taking care of the person living inside of us. I am guilty of this way too often. I push and push and push and don’t always take the time to just relax and decompress and give myself some compliments and congratulations for working hard, trying to improve myself and the world around me, and just for being who I am in the world today.

I know lots of people who engage in more than a little measure of self hate. Their relationships with their interior self is so damaged that the idea of self care is foreign. For many of these people the only time they get any self care is when they are so sick they just have no choice. How sick do you want to get before you are forced to take care of your inner self? And all those parts of you floating around inside slowly dis-integrating. There are each important and pulling you in different ways. They all need care…the small child (yes your “inner child”), the rebellious teen, the broken hearted one, the lover, the king/queen/ the magician, the priest/priestess, the warrior all need your love and care. The closer we bring them into the family the more we become integrated and can start the kind of relationship with ourselves that will be both healthy and whole.

You are an amazing person. You should treat yourself to an attitude of gratitude for all the things you do, and all the things you have done over your life. All the little accomplishments, like making your bed, and the big ones like the graduations, the children, and the care for others. This is the first step of re-building that relationship with you. Love yourself and all you have done both good and not so good. You are a precious human being and really need to treat yourself as such. I am reminded of the very famous quote from Marianne Williamson on the subject (often attributed incorrectly to Nelson Mandela):
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

It is in all of us. Love yourself; you are a child of the divine. You are a special, precious, amazing and perfect creation. If you don’t love you it make it very hard for the rest of us to love you and we really want to love you, you know.
Take some time this weekend, today and spend a few minutes appreciating you. You will be glad you did.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Feel Good Friday...Stand and Deliver

Feel Good Friday…Stand and Deliver

Most of us remember Jaime Escalante the math teacher from the inner city school in Los Angeles made famous by the movie “Stand and Deliver.” What many of us never really considered was the legacy he left behind through his teaching. Where are those kids now? What did his teaching really impact and how? Here is a short 2 minute video and gives us just a taste of the legacy of a life devoted to service…

http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=2035

How about you do you have “ganas”? That may be his real legacy…giving kids who didn’t have any or any hope of “ganas” to get some!

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Fear, Pain, and Power

Sunday Story…Fear, Pain, and Power

Fear
What are you afraid of? Really really, wake you up in the middle of night afraid? Fear rules our modern lives in so many ways. We are constantly bombarded by the next disaster or the threat of some attack from some unknown purveyor of death and destruction. Or maybe the next really bad disease that has been discovered. And you should take this pharmaceutical method to fix the disease you probably don’t have and the side effects of the pharmaceutical method just might kill you (but the disease won’t by the way!).
Should you really be afraid of these things? These modern anxiety causing problems that abound and cause you to be less than you are here to be. I think not.
What should you be afraid of? Failure? Success? Public Speaking? Burning Dinner? Those Crazy Hippies? I suppose you get to decide but it seems to me that being afraid of things you can’t do anything about…like the weather, the terrorist threat or unknown diseases is really silly. The things you might have some control over might be sort of OK to be afraid of but not the things you can’t do anything about.

Pain
Pain is inevitable. You are going to stub your toes both physically and metaphorically. You are going to have a broken heart, a business or career setback, and disappointments that may or may not have been avoidable, just to name a few. What you do with that pain is up to you. Many people decide that suffering is the way to go. Suffering is optional. You get to decide whether your pain and suffering goes together. You also get to decide whether fear is going to be pain’s companion.
As humans we are conditioned to move away from pain. If the fire is too hot I move away from it. If you twist my arm in a way that is pain inducing I will move in such a way that the pain will lessen. Yet pain is going to happen.
What should we do about pain? Accept it? Go with it? Rail against it? Run from it? You get to decide but pain is going to happen.

Power
Power is what we get from making decisions about fear and pain. I get power from taking control of my fear. I get power from deciding that pain may be inevitable but suffering is not.
Turning fear into power is one of the most potent processes you will ever experience. The transformation of fear is one of the most exciting alchemical processes known to man. Yet it can only happen when fear is faced and recognized and named. Once I have named my fear I can proceed to transform it into an ally. When fear resides in the shadows it gets dimensions larger than reality. How many times have you seen something in the distance that looked a little scary, a little foreign, and built an entire fear based story around that yet to be revealed thing. And once you realized the thing was nothing the fear vanished. We fear the monster in the closet, the one lurking under the bed, yet once the light comes on there is no monster and the fear goes. At that moment the moment of revelation we are filled with the power of knowing our fear and transforming it.
Transferring pain into power is a similar process. So is turning pain into suffering. Although transferring pain into suffering is a process that requires a lot less effort and strength. When I face my pain, the pain of emotion or physical pain, and when I name my pain, I can begin the process of uniting pain and power.
Both fear and pain can be great motivators. We will change our habits on a dime when faced with death. Smokers quit after 25, 30, or even 40 years of a daily habit when they realize their fear of death is greater than their love of smoking. Emotional pain can drive me into therapy and into personal growth that I would never even attempt without the pain.
These things, fear and pain, are allies and friends. They force me into power if I choose to ally with them. Or I can cower in the corner, defeated before I begin. I can whine and bemoan my plight and suffer through life. Looking deeply into the shadows, casting light on the fear and pain will allow you to live your life, proud and confident, even though you know more pain and fear will arise. You welcome them now, you want the lessons they bring.
Often we see people in love with their pain, in love with the monsters in the closet. These monsters are familiar and in a way comforting. The fear of the unknown…what might happen if I get rid of my favorite monsters …will new ones appear (yes)? Will they be not so friendly (probably in the beginning)? The fear of change is greater than the pleasure that may result from the change, so I stay stuck, mired in my fear and pain, happy in my unhappiness.
To find power in fear, power in pain I must be willing to love them and leave them behind. They served their purpose and now I learn from them and let them go. Will more pain and fear arise? Of course they will. But as we exercise the ability to recognize the lessons fear and pain bring us we can move faster and faster into power until power becomes our default position, not cowering in fear or agonizing about pain.
You’ve got the power. Use it.



Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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