Sunday Story…Love, American Style

There is a very long standing relationship I have had. It is, in fact, the one I have had longer than any other. It seems as if it will never end, and frankly, it won’t ever end. It has been good and bad, better and worse. There have been times when I turned my back and tried to walk away, only to be pulled back into the mix. At this point I am trying my hardest to make it work every day, every moment.

I am 100% responsibility for this relationship, as I am for all my relationships. But this one is really all me. The relationship I am speaking of, the relationship that has lasted my whole life and will continue for my entire life is the one I have with myself. That’s correct…the relationship I have with myself.

This is the most important relationship I have, the most important one I have ever had, or will ever have. Myself. The person who is with me every day, the person who has witnessed all my triumphs and my ignominious defeats and the one who has stood next to me without a thought of leaving me. This person is not perfect; they judge me, sometime harshly. This person sometimes treats me like a child (small wonder since the memory of the child is there). This person often stands in my way of acting powerfully out of fear and memories of past losses. Sometimes this is a good thing and others it is just an impediment.

The older I get the more important it seems that this relationship has become. There have been many times over the years that I turned my back on myself. I have crossed boundaries that hurt me. I have done things that were not in alignment with who I was at the time. And although I have apologized to the other people I hurt sometimes I didn’t apologize to myself. And I drove the core of who I am deeper and deeper underground until the relationship with me became just a ghost of what is was before.

Often we deny ourselves the measures of self-care that we need to nurture our self. There are those times when we need to relax and start listening to the voices inside our heads. Sometimes we have to stop and listen and then start taking care of the person living inside of us. I am guilty of this way too often. I push and push and push and don’t always take the time to just relax and decompress and give myself some compliments and congratulations for working hard, trying to improve myself and the world around me, and just for being who I am in the world today.

I know lots of people who engage in more than a little measure of self hate. Their relationships with their interior self is so damaged that the idea of self care is foreign. For many of these people the only time they get any self care is when they are so sick they just have no choice. How sick do you want to get before you are forced to take care of your inner self? And all those parts of you floating around inside slowly dis-integrating. There are each important and pulling you in different ways. They all need care…the small child (yes your “inner child”), the rebellious teen, the broken hearted one, the lover, the king/queen/ the magician, the priest/priestess, the warrior all need your love and care. The closer we bring them into the family the more we become integrated and can start the kind of relationship with ourselves that will be both healthy and whole.

You are an amazing person. You should treat yourself to an attitude of gratitude for all the things you do, and all the things you have done over your life. All the little accomplishments, like making your bed, and the big ones like the graduations, the children, and the care for others. This is the first step of re-building that relationship with you. Love yourself and all you have done both good and not so good. You are a precious human being and really need to treat yourself as such. I am reminded of the very famous quote from Marianne Williamson on the subject (often attributed incorrectly to Nelson Mandela):
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

It is in all of us. Love yourself; you are a child of the divine. You are a special, precious, amazing and perfect creation. If you don’t love you it make it very hard for the rest of us to love you and we really want to love you, you know.
Take some time this weekend, today and spend a few minutes appreciating you. You will be glad you did.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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