Sunday Story...It's My Party

Sunday Story…It’s my party

I’ll cry if I want to, or laugh, or dance, or pout. It is my party.

I am powerful beyond imagining. I have the power to create my life the way I choose. On I can give that power away to someone else. I can allow other people to dictate how I feel. I can allow other people to dictate what I do, even what I say. This is a process I do not understand completely. Why would I give up my power? The power of choice, the power of karma.

I get to make choices. It is part of the karmic flow of the universe. Karma is not about some unseen hand evening out the scales of justice. It is about the choices we make every day. The choice I make today dictates who I will be tomorrow. The choice when I choose not choose or when I allow the other people in my life to make choices for me.

The fact is that I give them permission to make those choices for me. I don’t go out and say…”here I am too weak to know how to feel, or how to act so go ahead and tell me what to do.” No we slowly give up our power. We start with little subtle languagings…”he made me mad” or she made me do it.” I am pretty sure you have never had anyone pour a bucket of mad all over you. And, although it is possible someone led you by the hand and forced you to jump off that cliff, it is unlikely.

Years pass and the next thing we know our lives are consumed with what someone else has “done” to us. That person who done me wrong. And that person owns a part of my life. Maybe even all of my life. But I am giving them permission to own it. I have given up my ability to choose. Or to put it in a more direct fashion…I have chosen to give up my choice.

Maybe you want to be the victim…a choice. To wallow in self pity…a choice. To sit in the dark and feel alone…a choice. To be miserable…a choice.

Have you ever wondered how anyone can smile in a refugee camp? Yet, we see them smile. How is it that some people can undergo the most horrific things…sexual and physical abuse that would kill many of us, yet they manage to live lives of abundance and joy? How does that happen? And how is it that when someone else experiences a small setback or a tiny fraction of what someone else gets their lives are shattered?

Choices.

I choose to live in abundance and prosperity. I can choose to live in scarcity and lack. I choose to live an emotional life of my choosing. Or I can choose to let other people dictate how I feel. I choose to live a spiritually enriching life. Or I can choose to live without a connection to the divine source.

Choices.

My choices are controlled by me. The most powerful tool I have at my disposal is the power of self control. In self control is the power of choice. I am in charge of my actions, words, and thoughts. I am making choices everyday about my actions, words and thoughts. You cannot make me do, say or think anything I choose not to allow. Me. My Choice.

It’s my movie. I am the star of my movie. Or not. Maybe you are making someone else the star of your movie. I hope not. Think about it for just a moment…why would you let anyone else star in your movie. I mean it is YOUR movie not theirs. There are lots of players in the movie of your life but there should only be one leading man or leading lady. And if it isn’t you …why did you opt out of the role? And why don’t you get it back? Everyone is waiting for you to step up and take control of the set again. Go ahead step into the spotlight. Start making the choice to be the start of your own movie. Make one choice. Stop blaming someone else for relegating you to the sidelines of your life. You decided to sit it out. Get up, put the pharmaceutical crutches down for a moment and start making some choices that are going to serve your role as a Star.

Choices.

You don’t have to make them. But when you don’t make them you are making a choice. You can whine about the miserable circumstances but none of us are really listening. We really want you to step into your spot light and shine. To seize your power and create a life and a legacy we can talk about and brag upon. I want you to be powerful beyond your own imaging. I want you to live a life of abundance, joy, laughter and love.

Go ahead
It’s your party.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”

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Sunday Story…Please Release Me
And let me go.

An old story…2 monks were walking along the river when they came upon the normal crossing point. There was a woman there in tears. The older monk asked what the problem was only to be told that she was deathly afraid of the water and could not swim. The older monk suggested she climb upon his back and he would carry her across. The younger monk followed him across, shaking his head the whole time. When they reached the other bank, the monk put the woman down and acknowledged her thanks with a slight bow. The 2 monks headed down the path and the woman went her own way. The younger monk was obviously agitated and continued shaking his head and muttering under his breath. After about 2 miles of this the older monk finally asked him what the problem was. The young monk exclaimed excitedly, “I can’t believe you carried that woman across the river on your back. You know we are prohibited any contact with women. Yet you let her crawl on your back and carried her across! This is terrible, just terrible. Wait until the abbot hears about this.” The older monk gave a slight smile and said, “I left her 2 miles back at the crossing. Why are you still carrying her?”

I am no paragon of virtue. I am human with all the foibles and blemishes that go along with ½ century of life. I have hurt other people deeply. I have been the progenitor of pain and torment for a number of people. I have done some things that I am really not proud of at all. Things I am ashamed to admit. Yet admit them I do. In the world I currently reside in there is no room for anything less than 100% responsibility. In naming and owning all the things I have done, I am responsible for each of them.

Yet responsibility is not enough. There is no way to go back and get a “do-over” or as they say in golf a “mulligan”. What has been done is done. The hurt and pain has been incurred. Nothing I can say or do will ever change that. I can apologize. I can take responsibility but I can never take back the pain and suffering that arose from my actions. I can do penance or wear a “hair shirt” for the rest of my days but, unlike the Catholic Confessional, there is no absolution, no washing away of my sins, no way to expiate the actions of my past.

So what is possible? What can be done to move forward? It appears that the only choice is to crawl up into a cave somewhere, tear my hair out and die. Or roll around in the pity sty snuffling and snorting in the mud and garbage of wrong actions and wrong thoughts and wrong, well, everything. And then, depending on your belief system, you get to spend the rest of eternity in some form of hell or are born a lower life form for countless lives, or some other equally nasty fate. Hmmmm…I am thinking not. Isn’t there some chance at redemption? Isn’t there something that can be done that provides some kind of redemption? Isn’t there some kind of reconciliation between the person of the past, the person who did the dirty deeds and the person today, the person walking the line?

If I have hurt you, I am truly sorry. If I have hurt you because I was unconscious of my own psyche, my own shadow, my pursuing demons I am very, very sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I did not set out to harm you or anyone else, yet harm you I did. I cannot change what has passed. What I can do and what I am doing is digging into my psyche. Pulling out all the little creepy crawlies that has me do the things I do and shove them into the light. Rather than stuffing it all back and saying I have dealt with it, I am healing them. I am welcoming my shadows, my nasty little critters that rise up when I am not looking, and embracing them in all their rude little ways. Learning to live with them and creating an ally relationship with each and every one of them. This is the only way for me to evolve. The only way I can honor the hurt I have caused you. Because I can’t change it. I can’t mitigate it. I can’t take it away. But I can make sure it doesn’t happen again. I can make sure that I am doing the real work of my life. In this way, should our paths cross again, I will be the person you always thought I was. Or the person you had hoped and dreamed I was. This is the only path to living a life of honor and integrity and purpose.

Your pain is yours. My pain is mine. I am dealing with the results of my actions by discovering all the little and large things that have had me do things that were painful both to you and to me. I am healing, little by little, moving forward in an attempt to understand who I really and truly, at the deepest core am. I know that may not be enough in this life but it is my mission. I hope I can inspire you to:
Put me down. Like the young monk in the story, stop carrying me around. Leave me back at the river crossing where our paths parted. I am much too heavy of a burden
Release me, let me go. Stop trying to get some retribution, some payment for your pain. There is no form of exchange that will erase what is done.

Please release me,
Let me go.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”

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Sunday story…Who Are You?


Recently a dear friend let me know that I had, in fact, inspired transformation in her. But that I am also responsible for her transformation. And just providing inspiration was not enough, I needed to help her walk through the process. So, although you are responsible for everything in your life, the good the bad and the ugly, by providing the inspiration I have to take ownership of my part of your transformation. How does Tony Robbins do this…he has inspired change and transformation in thousands of people. I know he feels responsible for each and every one who has been transformed through this words and actions. Is it because he knows you are better off for being inspired? He knows that no matter what happens you will be a better person, your soul will have moved in ways that have to be better than what you were doing. And what about those people who shift their lives in ways that has them doing 180 degree turns? Those people who leave careers, spouses, and communities. Cutting loose the anchors, the ties that bind them and surging forward armed only with the faith that this must be done and it must be better than the alternative of just doing enough to get by. They are making a choice to move away from a life of terminal normality, away from an existence that dies a little each day. Facing the fear of average and mediocre and choosing to step outside and live in the light of personal responsibility and consciousness. What if someone reads these words and decides today is the day they jump off the very real cliff? Am I somehow responsible for that? And is that any different than the metaphorical cliff?


Should I stop writing? Stop living in a way that evolves my soul and inspires you to evolve yours. There is something else besides “Survivor, Lost and The Biggest Loser” in the world. There is more food than McDonalds and Burger King. You life does not have to be dictated by your circumstances. Your life is dictated by your thoughts. And if you are thinking that life sucks, work sucks, your spouse is a loser and your kids are never going to amount to a hill of beans, well you are probably right. Sink back in to your quagmire of self doubt, low expectations and a life lived through the lens of reality TV or the bottom of a bottle.


Or start thinking a little differently…last week I had a group of children help pick radishes and zucchini squash fresh from our Black Belt Community Garden. They washed it and we ate some raw and I cooked some of it and they ate it. You have never seen such amazement. It wasn’t like the light bulbs went off. No, those light bulbs simply exploded. For many of these children the fact that the food came from the ground and could be eaten was a foreign concept. Much like the first people when they saw a Spanish Galleon anchored in the bay. They really couldn’t see the ship; it existed outside their known universe. The fact that these plants produced an edible vegetable that they had just seen growing was unfathomable to many of them. And I do not live in New York City. I live in a relatively small burg in an almost rural area of Nevada. I wonder what would happen if I had a cow to milk and they could see and drink and taste cow’s milk direct from the source.

Now that the mind has been opened to the possibility of fresh vegetables being an amazing thing perhaps other shifts can take place. Shifts like: the earth is my friend, not throwing recyclables in the trash, or maybe I can be responsible for my own life. Did I mention how they responded to the compost pile? From yuck to wow in 2 minutes or less.


Where can you shift your thought patterns? Where can you see the ship in the bay that has always been there? Are you making decisions based on a 2 or a 4 or an 8 or a 12 year child’s perspective? How many of your attitudes are you carrying around based on your conditioning from your childhood? Do those things still serve you? They may have served you then…kept you safe, kept you in the good graces of the people you depended on for basic life needs. But now? Does your father’s attitude toward money still serve you in this day and age? How about religion? Are you just accepting and swallowing whatever someone is spoon feeding you? There was a day when no one was allowed to read scriptures except priests. Although that has gone by the way side (gladly in my opinion) there are still places where we just accept some one else telling us what we should believe and what we should feel and what we should do. They just keep shoulding all over us. And this is not OK. Wake up Start thinking for your self. Look inside…figure out what attitudes and thoughts are serving you. Are they serving the You that You will be in 10 years? 20 years? Next month? Tomorrow? Maybe it’s time to find some new thoughts and new attitudes and new ways of being that are working backwards from the person you want to be, instead of the other way around. Who I am today is based on what I thought, what I did yesterday. Maybe I should think and do the things that will have me be the person I want to be tomorrow!


Maybe I can realize that there is a connection between the earth, the seed, the plant and the food I consume. There is a connection between what I think, what I do, who I hang out with, and who I want to be tomorrow. Who are you right now? The You of yesterday or the You of tomorrow?


So yes I am responsible for your transformation. If, by reading these words, some little bell (or large gong) goes off and you begin to shed the you that you were, then yes I am responsible. I will keep writing, encouraging, pushing, cajoling, exhorting and any other “ing” it takes for you to become the truly magnificent piece of art you were put here to become. And gladly so…

“I walk the line, because you’re mine”

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”

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Sunday Story...Hello, It's Me

Sunday Story…Hello, It’s Me


Lately I have been hearing a lot about connection. The latest buzz is “social media”. Sites like Face Book, My Space, Twitter, and others are sprouting up everywhere. These are places where people connect online. People are re-connecting after years of being out of touch as well. They are often connecting by interest group. For instance, I have a lot of Martial Artists as my “friends”. Many of whom I have never met and may never meet. But we are connected by a common interest.

It is rather interesting how people show up…some of them live in the same town as I do, some of them go to some of the same art type events, some of them are martial artists, some are old friends from high school or college, and some are business associates. I don’t tend to group them but when I look through the list I can see who came from which sphere of influence they arose.

What is even more interesting is who they are on these sites. Many of them only use the site for business connection. What they are doing, selling, buying, and marketing. Many of them only seem to sharing the minutiae of their lives…work, bed, dinner, kids. Some of them provide thought provoking conversation and posts. And still others say or do very little at all.

Yet each one of these people has a complete life somewhere. I am not just my business and I am not just my day to day get up, go somewhere, do something life either. And I don’t sit around and think deep thoughts all day and expound on existential theories either. I have a complete life, sometimes it is mundane, sometimes it is all work and no play, and sometimes it is filled with deep thought and introspection. So I am not just a one dimensional picture showing the side to the people that I want to them to see.

We all live in our own bubble. The ant trail of our lives takes us on a daily journey. Get the train to go to work, stop by the same coffee shop, and take the same route to the Dentist, grocery store, and mall. Back and forth, back and forth…and every once in a while ventures off the beaten track into some new and unusual neighborhood. On the surface it would appear we are like ants sallying forth to retrieve our daily bread and returning back to the nest until we sally forth again. But really is that all there is? Is that all you are? An ant coming and going, until you drop?

I think not. Especially if you are reading this! You are waaaay more than that. You are a spiritual being experiencing a physical incarnation. Yes you are a worker bee. Yes you may be a parent, a son, a daughter, a realtor, a Doctor, a Martial Artist, a musician, or any other of a hundred things. And you may be a hundred different things all at once. But are you just an ant on a trail? I think not. Thinking you are destined to work hard and then die is a delusion of the worst order. You were meant to live a full, exciting, prosperous, and abundant life. You are not just connected to me on Face Book and My Space, but you are connected to me through our shared divinity, through our shared DNA, through the air that we are breathing that our ancestors were also breathing.

I want to see all of you. I want you to see all of me. My light, and my dark. The warts and the beauty. I don’t want to just see the one piece you are willing to let me see…your business side, or your “parent” side, or the one way we are connected side.

This is the me that is the writer. The me that is the dancer, the artist, the lover, the magician, the king, the warrior, and the shadow of all of them. The control freak, the person afraid of love, the man who is so self disciplined in so many ways yet completely powerless in so many others. Look at the entire three dimensional person. This is me…the child of the divine and the spiritual being evolving into a yet higher consciousness. This is me…the physical human working so hard toward optimum health and fitness. This is me…the guy determined to find abundance and prosperity in a negative and harsh climate. This is me…the tough guy who regularly cries at inspirational videos. All me. And much, much more.

So come on by and introduce yourself. Be the one dimension you choose to show but feel free to let the rest of you peek out as well. I would love to meet all of you. In the meantime…

Hello, It’s Me

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”

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