Sunday Story...Myths and Legends

Sunday Story…Myths and Legends

Life throws each one of us the twists and turns that we need. Why do I need some of these things…the deaths, the losses, the heartbreaks, the economic disasters, the divorces, the pain and suffering and angst that occur? I mean come on who really needs these things? The stress of modern life is enough…the pollution, the degraded food supply, the economic uncertainties, the natural disasters (tsunamis, earthquakes), the un-natural disasters (nuclear plants), revolutions, and civil wars.

Maybe you are thinking it would be better to have lived a few thousand years ago when your primary worries would have been starvation or predation…no food or ending up being food. Your existence would revolve around getting enough food to live and making sure your clan of people was protected against the predators of the world.

Maybe we need them to show us the contrast between those not so good things and the really good things…the births, the love, the compassion, the successes, the joy and happiness. Maybe we need those things to test us in some way…to provide a trial to see how we might grow, to see who we really are, what we are made of, if you will.

It is entirely possible that all of those things are just that…a sort of cosmic test to see where we are on the spectrum of growth, a way to find out if we are ready to move on or if we are still stuck on some point. I am reminded of the Churchill quote…”Success is not final, Failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.” Did you give up? Did you allow the event to change you for the worse? Did it get the better of you? For how long? Did it knock you off your center?

When these things happen…whatever these things are we will assign meaning to them. When we are young we make them mean things about us…after all, a child’s world is self centered and singular…it really is all about them. There is no room for any other interpretation. Then we spend the next set of years living through that interpretation, that meaning. Something happens and the child in me makes it mean that I am not worthy of love, I am not good enough, I am not tough enough. And then when I am adult I am still living out those meanings that a 5 or 10 or 15 year old assigned to that event.

Think back through your life. What happened? What are the significant events in your life? What do you remember? Can you pick out, without meaning, the facts of event? What actually happened? What was said or done….just the facts. What did you make it mean? How has that colored all the decisions you have made since?
When I was in about the 6th grade I got in a fight. Hard to believe, I know. It wasn’t much of a fight, really. One day after school a former friend of mine was hanging around with this other kid and this kid said something to me (I don’t remember what) and I answered back with a smart aleck reply (again, I don’t remember what). He punched me in the nose. I got blood on my favorite shirt. When I got home that day I hid the shirt in the laundry basket (brilliant strategy, I know). My mother found the shirt (big surprise!) and I had to explain why I had blood all over my shirt. I told my father the this kid, Eric Whitehead, punched me in the nose after I said what I said and my father said, “ Why would you fight with that kid. He’s the toughest kid in school.” (my father was a teacher and had a pretty good handle on the who’s who) At least that is what I heard him say. Those are the facts as I recall them these many years later.

So what did I make it mean? What interpretation did I assign to that momentous event? Well, what I heard was that I was not tough enough. I was not strong enough. I was not physically able to take on this challenge. That is the meaning I assigned those events and those words. I lived many years out of that paradigm. I made decisions to be tougher, stronger, bigger, badder, meaner than the next guy.

And then I realized the futility of those meanings. I decided to give those events, those facts a different meaning. And now when I think back and hear what I hear that day I find it to mean that I am strong. I took on the toughest kid in school. I may have gotten punched for my words but I didn’t back down from them and took one on the nose for the trouble. I am tough. I am strong. I stand up for myself.

Today I live out of that empowering paradigm. Not the disempowering one. Where are you living out of a disempowering conversation with yourself? Why? Why not make those events mean something else? Why not create a reality that serves you and creates the world and the life you want to live. Do you really want to spend the next 40 or 50 years in some story that isn’t true? Some story that doesn’t serve you and the greatness you could be?

Just imagine if you could catch these stories early in your life and assign them the kind of meaning that lifts and elevates your life and self confidence. We live in a culture that seems to celebrate the negative and the worst of the world. We watch things that tear people down and make them less than they were before. How can we help but not tear ourselves down. What if we assigned the highest and best meaning to those twists and turns of life? What if we gave ourselves the benefit of the doubt?


You are strong.
You are good.
You are worthy.
You are wealthy.
The world is abundant.
There is enough for everyone…enough love, enough joy, enough happiness, enough money, enough life.

Make your life mean what you want it to mean…not what some 6th grader thought it should mean. Do you really think an 11 year old should be making decisions for you now? Really? Get back there and do the work it is going to take to re-interpret, to re-tell those stories in ways that make you a hero.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...X Marks the Spot

Sunday Story…X Marks the Spot

Every great pirate story has a treasure map. And on that map X marks the spot. X is where the treasure lies. X is where all the trails and travails will lead. You might have to fight your way to it but X is the fulfillment of the dream, the destination of the journey.

SO…what’s your X? What will it take to get to X? Do you even know where X might be? Have you lost your map? Are stuck in the part of the journey in a dead-end… you know, the end of the maze where there is no cheese but you can smell the cheese, you just can’t find it?

Way too many of us have lost sight of X. We have stopped looking for the treasure, stopped searching the world high and low for the X that will give us what we really want. Maybe you don’t think X is really out there anymore. Maybe you don’t believe the effort is worth X anymore. Maybe you believe your map is flawed…it’s certainly possible, after all, in many pirate stories the first map is a decoy, the one that isn’t real. Maybe X just doesn’t motivate you anymore and you really should be looking for Y or Z.

Why aren’t you looking for your X? Scared? Tired? Numb? What happened? What caused you to give up on the treasure map? Were there too many dead-ends, too many twists and turns, or did you just get sidetracked and forgot where you put the map? And what is it going to take to get back on the search? Because obviously just having X is not enough. And not having X is not enough. Because if either of those things were true you would be tearing up the world to get to X and if you didn’t have the map you would be tearing up the world to find the map.

And this is the real rub. What is your motivation for looking for X? Why do you even want to? It’s my guess that you stopped looking for X because you lost your motivation to get X. That whatever X is for you isn’t enough in and of itself…it rarely is by the way. You see…the treasure, the pot of gold, the big reward isn’t really why you go through all the trials and work to find X. No it is something else entirely.

Think about this for a moment or two…why did Captain Ahab chase the white whale across the 7 seas? It wasn’t because he wanted a whale sandwich. Why did Michael Jordan practice so much to become the basket ball player he became. Do you really think it was just for the multi-million dollar contracts? Why did Sir Edmund Hillary climb Mt. Everest? How about Magellan and circumnavigating the globe? Just for money? Just for the riches that might come their way?

Motivation rarely comes in the form of extrinsic rewards. Extrinsic rewards are the things I get for doing something that someone else gives me, like a good grade or a paycheck. I exchange a certain amount of my time for a certain amount of money. Oh boy. I get good grades in school so I can get into a better school, so I can get a better job, so I can exchange less time for more money. Oh boy. Sign me up for that one! Yet we do this all the time. And we eventually begin to believe that those extrinsic rewards are the X on the treasure map. Because if we don’t really believe that we are going to have a serious problem. We might have to figure out what X really is. And why we want to go out and get it.

Motivation arises from intrinsic rewards. What I am going to get for doing something needs to reside in me. It needs to feed the inner fires inside of me. Have you ever wondered why one person does a menial job, say sweeping floors, just well enough to not get fired and the next person is the most outstanding floor sweeper ever? They both get paid the same? The best floor sweeper is working for an intrinsic reward. I am reminded of the story of the 3 stone masons…when asked what he was building the first stone mason said, “A wall.” The second stone mason replied, “I am building a building.” And the third stone mason said proudly, “I am building a cathedral that will edify God and inspire people to grand works.” Who do you think is working for his X?

What’s your motivation? Are you building a wall for a paycheck? Or are you building a cathedral that will have lasting impact on your life and the lives that will come after you? Because X really isn’t enough is it? Unless X is the legacy you will leave. Unless X is the intrinsic reward that will create the life you were meant to lead. You see X might mark the spot but it is the journey to X that creates the life that inspires the rest of us. X might be just a building…but a cathedral and what it took to create that cathedral, not just the bricks and mortar, but the spirit and the effort and the soul of the creators that has us sing praises.

Find your treasure map and your X. What inspires you to build a cathedral instead of a wall? What is it going to take to get you back on the trail? What journey will inspire you to get on the search, to get back to building a life of inspiration and legacy?

X might mark the spot but it is the journey that makes finding X worth the work!

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Being Selfish

Sunday Story…Being Selfish

As I sit here writing this week’s story I am struck by how much I really don’t want to be here. It feels like spring outside…the sun has been shining all day and the temperature has been most pleasant all day. A great day to be outside and soaking it all in.

It was nice enough this morning at 7AM to run in sunglasses, shorts and a t-shirt. A nice swift 4.25 mile run, the sun shining on my face, the world still quiet. As many of you regular readers know, running has been a thing of the past for me. Knee surgery 2 years ago and another injury last summer have prevented me from getting out and really running any distance at all. But this morning I was fast and pain free…a true delight.

You might ask yourself why I would ask another injury running when it is not necessary for my fitness. Running at this point will not increase my cardio vascular fitness, especially long distance running. And given the fact that something like 65% of all runners will experience an injury this year, why would anyone want to do it?

Over the last 2 years I have tried products and supplements to help with the knee pain. I have found a couple to work very well (they are from Univera...call me for the details!). And I have done joint mobility exercises to free up the synovial fluid and increase the range of motion in the joints (Thanks Adam!). And I have studied different bio-mechanical solutions to improve and better my running gait. So I have gone out of my way to get back on the road.

Today it all paid off. I ran virtually pain-free on mostly pavement. I felt good and fast (under 36 minutes for 4.25 miles). Blood flowed, oxygen raced, the knees worked precisely and all was well in the world. But yet you may ask…Why? Why do all that work over all that time just to run?

I was never a huge runner before in my life. In high school I ran middle distance. It wasn’t until I hit about 49 and started the UBBT (http://tomcallos.ning.com/profiles/blog/list ) that I even began to run. And I found a freedom that never existed before. It wasn’t about being fast or slow. It wasn’t about how far or the pace or the heart rate. It was about finding a unity with the world. It was about finding a sense of one-ness with the world around me, even when just running around the neighborhood. Eventually I ran longer and faster (up to some 50 mile races!). It is still about freedom, and unity, and one-ness. It is also about working on me physically and mentally to get back to something that gives that sense of peace and calm.

Also during the UBBT 3 test I did 500,000 pushups over 22 months. A truly crazy thing when I look back on it. ½ a million pushups is a lot of pushups. It seemed I was doing nothing but pushups all the time. I would drop and do them all the time and just about anywhere. Again why? It was way past what was expected of me. It was actually overtraining my shoulder and not exactly good for them. So what was the point?

And here is the point of this week’s chapter…what do doing ½ million pushups, sitting down and writing this on a beautiful spring afternoon, and doing 2 years of rehab on my knees (just to risk injury again) all has to do with each other? It is a question of self discipline and an issue of self-integrity.

I have been writing this weekly story for almost 3 years now. I am committed to doing it, rain or shine, good or bad, sick or well. I never promised any of you I would do it. I promised myself I would do it and if I can’t keep my promises to myself, well I really can’t be counted on in very many other places can I? Plus, among the many things I am is a writer. And writers write. It really is that simple sometimes. So here I sit.

Along the path of my UBBT 3 journey I started doing a lot of pushups (we were tasked to something like 52,000). Along that road I realized I did 1000 a day for 50 days (my birthday that year). 50 days became 100 and then something like 136 days before I slipped up. At that point I realized that if I just kept up a certain number every day I could hit something amazing like 500,000. It seemed like a cool number at the time. But again along the way things shifted and it became an exercise in self discipline. There were many times I wanted to quit, when I would drop to ground and just not want to push up. But I went ahead anyway. My will was stronger than my won’t.

Doing the work on my knees has been hard and painful. Yet the memory of that sense of freedom, unity, and one-ness was so strong as to keep me forging ahead looking for a way through. The desire to get back there, to feel the world rolling under my feet won out over any temporary pain, over any thoughts of not working it out.

Self Discipline. Self Integrity. These things are integral to who you are being in the world. Are you willing to do what you said you were going to do, even if you said it only to yourself? Are you going to do what needs to be done, even in the face of not wanting to do it, even in the face of pain, or frustration or rejection, or something else? Are you going to do it when it needs to be done simply because YOU said it would be done?

Lots of things are in your way. Some small things, some big things, some really important things, I am sure. But NONE of them are more important that your self integrity…none of them are more important that living into your self discipline. Need to change your diet? Need to change some habits? Need to start living into your potential? Better check your self discipline and self integrity. Then get going. It needs doing now and you are the only one to get it done.

Enjoy!

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Positive and Realistic

Sunday Story…Positive and Realistic

I believe in the power of positive thinking. I believe that if I can conceive it and believe it I can achieve it. I believe the most powerful tool on earth is the human mind. I believe that a right attitude will serve me better and longer than any amount of money or other success. I live a life of abundance, prosperity and wealth. I believe this to be true and my bank balance is not part of that equation.

That being said, I also believe in being realistic. It does not serve me to ignore the economic realities around me. The power company gets paid or they shut my power off. The grocer will not let me walk out without paying for my goods. The reality of the world says that there are certain things that have to get done for things in my life and yours to run smoothly. If I don’t do my laundry, if I don’t bathe regularly there are consequences for those actions (or inactions).

I refuse to live in a world ruled by scarcity, lack and poverty. This is an attitude. A decision I get to make about how I view the world. The nature of the decision allows me to see the world in a particular light. If my attitude were different I would see the world in a different light. And sometimes the world serves me a challenge to my attitude. This is part of the reality check, part of the test to see if my attitude is real or just something I change like my socks.

So how are we going to balance being positive and realistic? Because sometime the reality is that there is more month than money and that problem can get pretty old pretty fast. Sometimes the reality is that my health is not as vibrant or as optimum as I would like it to be. Sometimes it looks like life is blowing a big raspberry my way. How can you possibly be positive in the face of the myriad of challenges lefe kicks up our way? Isn’t just a bit unrealistic?

We have a principle we teach at Relentless Martial Arts called indomitable spirit. Basically it means to face your fear and move ahead. It means that I can lose the battle and continue to fight the war. That I may be down but I am not out. It means that I am measured not by how often I get knocked down but by how often I get up. It means that the only person who can determine my fate is me. And my fate is controlled by my attitude.

When faced with uncertain circumstances or, worse yet, a really bad situation that appears to be beyond my control how can I possibly control my attitude? Why not just go back to bed, give up and call it a day. Or, just as bad, walk through life beaten and defeated waiting for death to take me out of my misery? Why even bother to have a positive attitude, to try and find the “silver lining” in those bad situations. It is so much easier to just give up and wallow in your own mediocrity and pity.
Really? You were brought to life to be beaten? You were placed in this life to be the whipping child for all the bad situations that could occur? Do you really believe that? How is it that you got picked? Just dumb luck…after if it wasn’t for bad luck you wouldn’t have any luck at all, right?

You are child of the divine. You were put here to inspire, to create, to become something great. You are here to be the highest and best you can be. Start believing that. Start saying that to yourself. Start looking in the mirror and telling yourself;” I am a child of the divine and the divine does not make mistakes. I can find the silver lining in every cloud. It is my attitude that will lift everyone around me.”

Once I believe that I can find the good in the bad, that I can create a positivity out of a negativity then I can go to work to do just that. I can look at the situation realistically and start creating solutions. I can start making decisions from a proactive place rather than a reactive place. I can formulate a plan from a place of positivity and prosperity and abundance using my highest and best faculties.

We all get down (yes, even me). We all feel from time to time the world is sitting on our shoulder and we are being crushed under the weight of it. That the odds are stacked against us and there is little or nothing we can do. The question is …”how long are you going to stay down?” How long are you going to wallow around in a swamp of self pity? You are going to get hit; you are going to get knocked down. We all do. It is part of the human condition. The question is whether or not you are going to keep moving forward, whether you are going to get back up and go again. Are you going to make a new plan or keep trying the same old one that hasn’t worked yet?

Too many people have decided to stay down, to give up the fight. Or to just plod along doing the bare minimum to get by and then kill themselves slowly with mind and body and soul numbing activities. Go ahead and make a decision to be different. Go ahead and look in the mirror and say something good to yourself about yourself. Then go out of the bathroom and say something nice to someone else. You will be glad you did.

Oh, and re-read the poem at the beginning of this note…there is no place for self pity in your life. It isn’t natural and it doesn’t serve you.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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