Sunday Story...Demon Lover

Sunday Story…Demon Lover

So very many years ago I woke up in the wilderness. A place that I did not remember being. I knew not where I was really, nor did I know how I came to be in the place I was in. It was in the early morning, that time that isn’t day or night, when things are just a little hazy around the edges. Like the dawn the awakening came upon me gradually, yet inevitably. And when I awoke, in the wilderness, it was apparent that the person who awoke was not the person who went to sleep. I had been co-opted, taken over by some other being, some strange thing that had run my life for many, many years.

Somewhere along the road, I gave up control of my life to something or someone else. It was not a conscious decision. One where I thought, “oh gee, let me hand over my life, all the decisions in my life to this being over here. And the real me will just have seat over here and rest for the next 10 or so years.” No, it was a reaction to some culmination of events in my life. Some combination of things that had happened where it looked like this demon might be a better choice to drive the bus that was my life.

This Being, this alter ego, this demon, ran things the way he saw fit. He did the things that made sense to him and treated the world in a way that worked for him. I gave him permission, tacit or implied, but I gave it to him. He is me, but just a part of me. Not the whole, integrated part of me. He did the best that he could given his unique gifts, skills, and talents. It was not his fault that he was not equipped for the real journey of this particular incarnation. He seemed like a good choice at the time.

I love my demons. Those dark little shadows that run around my psyche, including the ones that have caused me so much grief over the years. We all have them you know. Many people are living in denial about their demons. I recently had a conversation with a friend who denied that he had any shadow at all, that he had done all the work to integrate his entire being. I ran and hid for cover. Folks, our shadow is integral to our integration. The more light there is the more opportunity our shadow has to hide. We really need to poke around and see what is hiding under those rocks.

When I allowed my demon to drive the bus of my life, I thought (as did all the people around me) that the “real me” was still in charge. The “real me” sat over in the corner and took a nap. My favorite demon wreaked havoc and caused all sorts of problems. Of course, for most of us these are “normal” problems…addiction, no integrity, failure to take responsibility, living like you are the only person on earth. Then I woke up in the wilderness, stood up in the corner and decided that the integrated me needed to start driving the bus.
The demon didn’t get kicked off the bus. That would not be a great solution. I made friends with my demon. It is necessary to create a new, symbiotic relationship with my favorite demon bus driver. If I just kick him off the bus, sooner or later he is going to get back on and boy is he going to be ticked off! And a really mad demon is nothing to be sneezed at. If that demon comes back mad, he may just decide to wreck the bus altogether. We often see this happening when people make the same mistake over and over again, with worse and worse consequences. The question is often…”what were they thinking when they did __________again?” Demons want to be loved just like the rest of us, recognized for the gifts, skill and talents they bring to the table. If we reject them they will get mad and then get even. And when our demons get even it is ugly indeed. Bad things happen, bad things like divorce, disconnection, disease, and discord.

So let’s make allies of our demons, our little beasties that serve us in interesting little ways. And they will serve us if we honor their gifts, skills, and talents. After all, that demon drove the bus all those years. It isn’t his fault he didn’t know sound fiscal management or how to raise children. He did the best he could given his abilities and in many ways kept the rest of our psyche safe. We let them drive to protect us, to be in charge because the integrated self wasn’t ready to drive. Well if the integrated self is driving now, the demon should be honored for his contribution don’t you think? So love your demons. Pet them often. Take them out for walks and train them how and when to play nice with the rest of the world. Then they won’t hijack the bus when you aren’t looking. Nothing worse than walking up in the wilderness wondering how and where you ended up there!

Demon lover, that’s me!

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Skeletons in the Closet

Sunday Story…Skeletons in the Closet

Death. The final frontier. It is the time of year that death reigns supreme. The leaves are falling, the garden is dying, and this part of the world is slowing down, getting ready for the death that winter brings. In a few weeks it will be all hallows eve, all saints day and the day of the dead. Traditionally, we consider the “veil” between the worlds to be thinner than it is usually. Actually it remains the same but most of us are not focused on it the rest of the year. In the fall, as it becomes apparent that the world is going to die back again, we focus once more on those people who have already crossed that final frontier.

We have lots of conventions and expectations around death and dying. Depending on your religious traditions you might have some very different beliefs around the whole subject. There are a few immutable facts around the subject that can’t be argued with, no matter what your beliefs or traditions may be.

Your physical body is going to cease operating at some time in the future. Maybe sooner, maybe later but it is going to stop. Once your physical emanation ceases to exist, your body will undergo the same changes that the world is experiencing right now. It will decompose and break down into some components that will no longer be recognizable as human.

The people who are still here will get to deal with what is left. We will follow our tradition and your instructions to the best of our ability but we are going to have to deal with the physical leftovers somehow.

There will be other things for us to deal with upon your passing. They will get dealt with somehow. The difficulties will arise depending on your advance planning. But it won’t be your concern any longer.

Other than those things…everything else is conjecture. So why is so much time spent worrying about what will happen to us after death? Reincarnation, heaven, hell, purgatory, and more, have books, epics, legends and myths all around them. Die, get reborn, come back as a fly or a goat, go to heaven and be seated at the right hand of the supreme being, become an angel, toil in hell for your sins, live an afterlife surrounded by vestal virgins…all conjecture.

I often see a bumper sticker that says…”if you are living like there is no God, you better be right.” Now the whole God conversation is fodder for another story but the point is very real. How are you living? How are you spending your time, your days, hours, and minutes? Is your life living on purpose, with purpose, for a purpose? Or are you treading water waiting for the rest of us to deal with the debris you are going to leave behind?

And once you begin living your life with purpose, once you begin to live your legacy, what about the rest of us? You know, the people in your life who will celebrate your life when you are gone; the people who will deal with the debris and detritus of your passing. Will we be able to celebrate you? Will you have gone back and made amends? Will you have righted the wrongs, cleared up the misunderstandings, taken responsibility for your shortcomings and failures? Will you have forgiven those who need to be forgiven?

The process of cleaning up your life after so many years is daunting. There can be so much to clean up; so much you swept under the rug, thinking you would get back to it someday. Guess what…it is someday today. Pick up the rug and start cleaning up. It is not enough to just live on purpose , you have to look at two other prongs as well…what do you need to do to get things right with the people in your life and who do you need to clear and clean things up with?

On the first front…call, write, email, text the people who you love, who you wronged, who need to know some things about you and your behavior, and the responsibility you are taking for your life. Your life as it now is. Don’t expect all of them to welcome your advances but do it anyway. On the second front…start to forgive and forget the wrongs others have already done to you. Release them from and attachment they have placed upon you and any attachment you are dragging around. Let it go. If they are still physically present, call, write, email or text them their release. That attachment to that person, to that event, or that place needs to be removed so that you can move about more freely and so can they. If you can’t contact them, write the letter any way and burn it sending it off with your prayers of release and forgiveness.

This is the debris you don’t want to leave here. This is the stuff you don’t want to have attached to you when you die. This is the stuff you don’t want to be attached to when someone else dies. When they are gone and you have not reconciled the slings and arrows you will find your grieving process much more difficult. And guess what …if you have not expressed your joy and gratitude to someone who made a difference to you, what better time than now? Do you want them to pass without knowing the joy and love you received from them? If I died today, is there anything you wish you would have said to me?

For those of you reading this, who I owe a letter, email or text to…it is coming. Sometimes it takes a while but it is coming. Soon. Very Soon.

Clean out your skeletons from the closet…shake out those bones and send them on their way. They are just collecting dust anyway…

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story…Walking on Sunshine

13,000 Feet over the Yolo County Airport somewhere near Davis CA.
I am sitting on the edge of an airplane looking at a blue sky, above the very slight wispy cloud cover. My feet are hanging over the edge of the precipice, the open door of the single engine plane that has taken us up to this point. I am seconds away from jumping/falling/leaping out of the plane and into the sky. We are the last 2 onboard; all the other more experienced jumpers have left, flying like raptors darting through the sky. I am going to step into the abyss, eyes wide open, and walk on the sunshine.

It is the day before my 53rd birthday and through a propitious turn of events I find myself getting ready for my first skydiving experience. This is one of the things that I said had no appeal for me…after all jumping out of a perfectly good airplane just seems so very wrong on so very many levels. Then in talking with a friend a month or two ago he said what a life affirming and like enhancing experience it was. That it really gave him some clarity around what was important and what was just dross. Then a week ago someone else sent me a coupon for 40% off a sky dive. Then some money appeared that I did not expect. So voile’ here I am, strapped to another human wearing a parachute getting ready to fall 13,000 feet to the earth.

The moment you drop out of the plane is surreal at best. In the first second or two you have a sensation of weightlessness. Not falling yet, just suspended in the air for a brief blip in time and then the sensation of falling comes upon you. But this isn’t like falling out of your chair or off a diving board because there is no comparative measure to tell how fast you are going. Then you begin to realize you are, in essence, flying. Falling at this speed (120mph) creates a sort of friction with the air that allows you to direct yourself into different places, down fast, slow, stop (almost), right, left, just about any way you want to go except up.

The idea behind this adventure is four fold. One: To fill my well full of life force, of chi, of energy. Whenever I do things that are out of the ordinary, out of the realm of what you might think is possible (like fire walking) I get a direct transfusion of universal energy. This feeds me in ways that are indescribable. Two: to face fear and go ahead anyway. To look inside, take a deep breath, and say to that fear of (falling, heights, death) I see you, I hear you, I get you and I am going ahead anyway. You, Fear, do not rule me, you, Fear, do not own me; I am in control of my life not you, Fear. Three: like climbing a mountain…it is there to do…to say I’ve done this. To be able to enter a conversation about the subject with an experiential knowledge of what it is like to walk on air. Four: it’s my birthday and I can do what I want to!

I am going to pull my own ripcord at 5500 feet. I am wearing an altimeter that measures the altitude and have been instructed to pull the cord at 5500 feet. It comes much too soon. We have traveled 7500 feet in about 60 seconds. The rush of air on your skin is exhilarating. The sensation of flying without support is in a word, amazing. As the parachute unfurls there is a small (hardly noticeable) moment when you wonder if it is really going to open, and if it does, is it really going to slow down the descent? Then the chute catches the air and we are sped upward and our descent slows to about 20 mph. At this speed conversation becomes possible, goggles can be removed and we can begin to manipulate the direction of the chute and the speed of falling. Much like snowboarding or skiing when you turn and head down your speed picks up. I get to pull the chute handles and play with our direction for several minutes.

There is something to be said for doing this sort of thing on a regular basis. Our lives can be so caught up with the day to day rush rush buzz buzz of mundane everyday stuff that we often forget about the magic that surrounds our precious human existence. You can do anything, anything at all. Walk on Fire. Free fall 7000 feet and land safely on the ground. Walk on broken glass. Break bricks or boards with your bare hands. Complete your education. Face yourself in the mirror and decide to become someone else. Look inside and start to live with a passion and fire that creates a life well lived. These are things that anyone can do if they put their emotions, enthusiasm and energy into the things they really really want to do.

We approach the ground into the slight wind so as to maximize the slowing speed. This trip has been way too short. The exhilaration is incomparable. The chi is pumping in my veins alongside my blood. Everything is sharper and crisper; the air smells cleaner and has a palpable feel to it. The landing is soft and easy. I am laughing and screaming and absolutely joyful. Life is good. Life is an amazing adventure. Life is incomparable. Life is what you make it. So what are you making it?

Go here: www.skydance.net you will be glad you did. I was.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...It's My Birthday

Sunday Story…It’s my Birthday!

This is my second attempt at this week’s story. Maybe the first attempt will show up later. It just struck me that I really should be writing about my birthday since it happens to fall on this Sunday the 4th and that is pretty rare in and of itself and the first and only time it has ever happened that I was writing these stories so….

This is not a really significant birthday…you know like when you were 10 and now you are double digits! Or when you turned 13 and a teenager. Or maybe the sweet 16 and a new driver…at least that’s how it was when I turned 16. Turned 18 and you could vote and get drafted. For those younger readers the draft was something the US government had back in the day that required you to enter military service if your number came up. I think you still have to register these days but they don’t pull your number any more.

What about turning 21 and the legal age for drinking alcohol in most states? Then the birthdays get sort of boring…age 25 got a car insurance deduction. Turning 30 was a pretty big deal…it felt like adulthood was in full swing and life was moving forward on some independent track, the train had left the station, if you will. Then 10 years to 40…I remember the mug I got that said “Welcome to 40…the decade from hell.” How very untrue that was! My girlfriend at the time threw me a surprise party. That was very cool. I could not remember the last time I had a surprise party, if ever! So that was really nice (Thanks Cin...hope you are reading this!) Then comes age 50, which for some people is some sort of funeral, like life is now ½ over or something. Or you have seen more birthdays than you are going to see. Since I intend on living to 150 I am barely 1/3 of the way there! My fiftieth brought a helicopter snowboarding trip that was also very cool. Engineered by a different girlfriend and paid for by a consortium of children, friends and well wishers. (Thanks Francesca). And now here we are at 53.

53. Boring. No girlfriend this time to arrange something (I’m really busy not having a relationship). No traditional reason to throw an exceptional party. A few months ago I thought that I might go to Europe for a birthday vacation but with the current economic state that just was not possible. Still it’s My Birthday and I should at least do the birthday dance! Right?

So, as all of my regular readers know (and some of the stranger ones as well) I am all about life enhancement and life affirming activities. I think everyone should do things that light them up. Things that really excites, enthuse and maybe even scare you a little. I think Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Do something every day that scares you.” Heli-snowboarding was a great example of doing something that lit me up. Fire walking is both scary and life affirming. Frankly, if I can walk on fire I can do just about anything. What lights you up? What are you afraid of doing? What do you believe you can’t do? Why not? Who said you can’t? Who said it has to be scary?

Saturday, in honor of my birthday, I am going to jump out of an airplane at 13,000 feet. Yes I will be jumping with a parachute with an experienced jump crew and a tandem jump. I am so excited and yes, a little bit scared. I have been told that this is an amazing experience. The free fall of 2 minutes or so is supposed to be other worldly. By all reports, when it is over you are filled with life and all the gratitude and excitement that life can offer. So I can’t wait!

I really didn’t need to wait to do this for my birthday, you know. And neither do you. You can jump any time you want. Or you can choose not to jump. The jump is a metaphor by the way. A metaphor for moving forward in your life. A metaphor for moving away from mediocrity and into excellence. A metaphor for choosing life…something we do unconsciously every day. Maybe we should consciously embrace life and all the gifts and blessings we are offered. Maybe we should approach today with an attitude of gratitude. Do I really need to jump out of an airplane to find gratitude for life or to feel blessed by this precious human existence? Especially since this is something I said I would never do?
I mean really…jump out of a perfectly good airplane on purpose? How freaking crazy is that?

So what are you going to do today that scares you just a little? Set a goal that is little too high? Try doing something you always wanted to do, but allowed something to stop you. Are your fears irrational? What is the worst thing that could happen? In sky diving that is pretty obvious…failure could be fatal. But if you fail to reach that really big goal? Is someone going to die if you fail? Will you die if you don’t reach the goal? I think not. And you will have achieved something that at least got you closer to the goal than if you didn’t try. Guess what? Success isn’t permanent and failure isn’t fatal. Except maybe in skydiving.

Do something today that scares you. Don’t wait for your birthday. Go for it. Now.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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