Sunday Story...Stranger in a Strange Land

Sunday Story…Stranger in a Strange Land

OK…I live in a bubble…I don’t watch commercial TV…I don’t listen to commercial radio…I don’t read popular magazines or newspapers…I have no idea about popular culture unless it shows up on Facebook, twitter, or on yahoo.com news headlines…Until yesterday. Yesterday I spent a large portion of the day in front of commercial television.

I am afraid. Afraid of where we are going as a culture. Afraid for the people for whom television is their main companion in their day. And I am not talking about the programming; I am talking about the commercials.

Let’s face it...I live pretty simply. I am not interested in the latest and greatest thing. I don’t take handfuls of pills for real or imagined illnesses. I am not going to watch the next reality TV show where a bunch of people get real mean, real stupid, and real nasty to each other. I am not the audience these things were created for.

I am an alien, a stranger in a strange land. As I sat, mesmerized, by the myriad of products offered for my benefit(?), I wondered if I had stumbled upon the twilight zone, where, although seemingly normal on the surface, the world has gone silently insane and I am the lone sane person left. And about to be arrested and locked up for not being “normal” like the rest of the inmates.

When I happened to mention my slightly skewed vision of the happenings on the big screen in front of me my companions just looked at me and smiled knowingly. Almost like I would get it and become more interested and interesting when I did. Until that point I was almost leprous in my visage.

I saw drug commercials for “disorders” that did not exist 5 years ago. Drugs for which the side effects were so much worse than the disorder they were supposed to be treating. When did it become OK to create new diseases for which there are new drugs to “cure?” It would appear that the pharmaceutical industry has taken it upon itself to cure everything in the world, even common things like emotions. Feeling sad? Talk to your Doctor about feel good pills? After all sadness just won’t do. Feeling angry? Try the even steven pill designed to stop even the angriest person and have them become even-tempered and mild mannered.

Folks, I want to feel. I want to be sad sometimes. I want to grieve and mourn and tear my hair out. Sometimes I want to be angry, stomp my feet, and maybe even throw something. And I want to be happy, and dance with joy, laughing and skipping like a small child. It is the emotion that creates things in the world. Passion is the fuel of life. Give me 10 passionate people over 100 dispassionate unfeeling drones every day.

The brave new world is upon us if television is any indication. Pills for everything that happens. Reality shows for every profession. Pretty soon we will all just be able to lie there hand have experiences piped into your cerebral cortex and call it life. You won’t have to leave the sofa…to go on safari, to make love for the first time, to taste the delectable pleasure of candied ginger chocolate, the caress of your beloved, or the scent of a new born baby. All of those things will just get downloaded into your experience bank through a pill or a drink or something.

There will always be people like me though. Out on the fringe…wanting to feel, to experience the flavors life has to give…both the good and the bad. Let’s face it…life is good and abundant but sometimes it stinks too. Sometimes your life just isn’t going the way you want it to go…you lover leaves you, your parents die, you get sick, maybe lose your job. And you are going to suck it up and feel the feelings and deal with whatever it is that is coming your way. Or maybe you are just going to disappear from reality and slap some salve on the feeling in the form of a pill or a bottle or a TV show or video game or the latest thing the tube said you should have. Your choice.

Life is about living. Life is about the experiences that you create. Life is what you do with what happens to you. If you disappear into a rabbit hole of escapism every time something happens how will you move forward? What will happen to your soul if you just take another trip without leaving the farm? I can see where life can show up a painful, and hard and not so easy. So what did you want…the life where nothing happens? Where everything is just, even, fair and equitable? Where there is no injustice, no pain, and no inhumanity? If you are still reading this I think not.

Turn off the TV. Permanently. There is a slime oozing out of your TV set (thanks Frank Z.) and it is rotting your brain, and your children’s brains. It is promoting the worst in values there is. You don’t need to be informed of the latest bad news. You don’t need the newest pill for the latest disorder. You don’t need to watch self indulgent children whine and cry in front of millions of people because they might get a couple of bucks or at least some attention from the world. Do you? Really? Do you?

I don’t. I will continue to roam, a stranger in a strange land. Wondering how I got here and where I am going. Want to come along?

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Angels andDevils

Sunday Story…Angels or Devils

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
Marianne Williamson, Return to Love, 1992


There is no shadow without light. Without evil good cannot be defined. The sky is met by the ground. We can’t have one without the other…masculine and feminine are two sides of the same coin. Life is often defined by death.


Yet when these things are in balance, there is no motion, only stasis and in stasis there is death. If we are not growing we are dying (which is a form of negative growth, I suppose). The key is not balance. Being even and “fair” can’t create anything new. Creation is a process of ripping and tearing apart of the status quo, the balance, the norm and the normal.


What I want to find is harmony; a harmony between my shadow and my light. We can think of this as an understanding, or an alliance, between two opposing forces that do not need to be at war with one another in order to move the mission forward.


Every one of us has our demons; those forces that seem to pop up and take over our lives at the most inopportune times. Drugs, alcohol, food, sex, work, and, yes, even exercise can be things that just seem to take over our lives. Sometimes it is like the creeping death that slowly pervades our existence until one day we look up and find our entire existence consumed by our demons. This is not harmonious because now I have to regain or wrest control back from the other side. Now the other side is in “control” and is not going to allow those other forces back out of the closet. Until one day, our guard is down and boom the demon is upon us and running the show with breakneck speed hurtling toward the inevitable crash and burn. Treating your demons in this way is like having a tiger for a pet. If you don’t watch out the tiger will eat you even though it will guarantee his demise. If you are going to keep a tiger as a pet you had better feed and care for him very well. This is the way of your demons…if you try to lock them up in a closet somewhere, you can bet they are trying to get out every second you ignore them.


Then there are the lesser demons…procrastination, tardiness, sloth, and the general malaise known as the excuses. In many ways these “lesser” demons are worse. You give them permission to run things. “Oh, I am always late.” “I have a hard time with names.” “I can’t miss the next episode of _______” “The game is on.” “It wasn’t my fault, really it wasn’t.” You empower them and allow them to be the ones in charge of things. Which really lets you off the hook. Sort of. Because you really can’t be off the hook when it comes to your own life.

You have to own all your demons and your angels. They belong to you and you alone. If you deny either the good or the bad you have lost a precious part of yourself and your life. Without winter the earth cannot rejuvenate itself. And if spring never came we would all die in hibernation. The sun has the power to destroy and create. It is in this harmony, this flow that we all must live. Fighting against this current is futile. Yet when things are in balance nothing can flow and move and create and begin or end.


Harmony between summer and winter creates the ebb and flow of life. Harmony between the forces creates the dynamic that moves us forward in our lives. Harmony makes the winter a time of renewal and summer the time of ease and enjoyment.


So how am I to harmonize the “negative forces” that seem to be able to ruin my life at a moment’s notice? How about we stop judging and labeling these forces as good or bad? Or even as angels or demons. After all a work ethic is good, yet we consider workaholism a bad thing. What if we try on that as a harmony…I sometimes need to burn the midnight oil to get things done. And that is a good thing. And I need to turn that oil off sometimes and just relax occasionally. I need to work out and train but my body cannot get stronger without rest. This is the paradox of life…there is no growth without both action and inaction. Neither one of them is good and neither one of them is bad. They just are. Just like light and dark…not good not bad just the harmony of the two of them creating the world we need to thrive in.


Maybe, just maybe if I stop looking as the light as good and the dark as bad I can move forward into a harmonious relationship with both of them, instead of constantly battling one or the other. Fighting the ebb and flow of the universe is like grasping water, almost impossible to do as a long term strategy but if I can channel the water in a direction, then I can harness the properties I so desire.


I may love the clay pot but it is the emptiness inside that is so useful. One without the other is nothing. Harmony.


Oh, and Happy Harmonious Holidays to you and yours.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Lie to Me

Sunday Story…Lie to Me

“Those that think it permissible to tell white lies soon grow color blind.”

Austin O'Malley

Integrity, truth, honesty…action words in a world that thinks they are concepts. There are have been many times in my life where I allowed someone to believe something that was not true. A lie of omission is still a lie. There have been other times where I acted knowing that I could not get permission before I acted, so I thought it would be OK to ask for forgiveness rather than permission. Another lie of another type but it is still a lie.

It is said that it is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission. I am not sure of the truth in that statement. I can imagine that it may actually be determined by which side of the fence you are sitting on.

But if you really think about it, asking for forgiveness after you have already done something that you knew you could not get permission for isn’t exactly standing in the light of integrity is it?

Then again there is the argument that legal is not always right and illegal is not always wrong. How and when do I get to set and follow my moral compass? Part of integrity is following the rules. It also includes both telling the truth and being honest. It is the being honest part that may be the most difficult. If I am going to follow my moral compass and that does include following the rules where and when do I break the rules? If I break the rules I must be prepared to deal with the consequences of not playing by those rules. I must stand up and say I did this thing even though it was against the rules. This is the why of it and where my moral compass was pointing at the time.

Being honest and in integrity starts with being honest with me first. How often do you finish a meeting, or a dinner, or a date and fell angry and upset with yourself because you didn’t hold true to yourself. You didn’t stand up for some position you believe in, or defend yourself or your loved ones from some snide nasty little digs that should have been sent back to the sender? If I can’t stand up for myself, how can I expect anyone else to do it for me?

Being honest means telling the truth before you are asked about it. So if I am being honest, I must ask permission before I need to ask for forgiveness. The problem is really going to settle on you internally. Because, if I ask permission, I must be ready to hear “no”, in other words, I must be ready to have my request denied. And if I am being honest I will make the request first before I act. And when the answer is “no” or the request is stamped “denied”, what will I do? Go ahead and do it anyway? Now I am actively pursuing a path of dishonesty. That is not good at all.

I must be willing to have my request denied. I must be willing to state and plead my case if need be and I must be willing to accept the denial if I am going to be truly honest. But what happens after that? What do we do after we accept the no?

We can lick our wounds and go home. We can find a new way to present our position. And maybe even better we can find a new idea in the ashes of the old one. Maybe we can find a way to maintain our integrity, get what we want, and have the other party get what they want. Sometimes we just have to find a way around that we are not currently aware of. And that denial may actually open the door of new thought and creativity.

Asking for forgiveness is easier than asking permission. It is also the coward’s way. If I go ahead and do it anyway, I have given the other party no choice but to forgive my actions. I never gave them the chance to say yes. And if I knew they would not say yes, and then my ego and pride says I am better, I know better, than you. And I did it anyway and you can like it or lump it. How prideful is that?

Asking permission is hard. You have to be ready to hear no. You have to be ready to support your request. You have to be ready to negotiate or compromise. You have to be willing to change your position. And you have to be willing to stand in your own power and integrity to get what you want.

If I just present you with the fait accompli (the thing done) you may accept it but will you ever trust me? How can you expect me to bring you the truth in the future? By being so presumptive I make the assumption that you are not capable of agreeing with me and take your ability to choose away from you. Not fair and not living in integrity either.

So don’t lie to me. Don’t assume I will say no. Do the right thing and ask permission. Be ready to hear no. Be ready to defend your position. Most of all don’t lie to you. Don’t tell yourself that you know what is best for me (you don’t). Don’t tell yourself that asking forgiveness is better than asking permission. It isn’t…but it is easier. Easy does not always equal right. When I look in the mirror tomorrow I want to know that I stood for what was the right thing. Even if doing the right thing was not the easy thing.
Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story…I Can See Clearly Now

I can see clearly now….actually I can’t. Truth be told, I can’t see a thing. And the more I look the less I see. It is like when you are underwater and you are trying to see something in the distance or just a flash of a thing. I remember scuba diving in Monterey Bay in Northern California. I was doing my certification dive. The visibility was not very good that day, maybe 6 to 10 feet. Which is plenty when you are just scuttling around on the bottom looking at things on the rocks and such. All of a sudden, something white whizzed right past me. I couldn’t see it clearly. I had no idea what it was but it scared the bejesus out of me. It was all I could do not jump up and run on the top of the water back to shore. I thought for sure a great white shark was out there waiting for me, about to chomp me into two pieces. I gutted the rest of the dive out, my heart racing and my spider senses on full alert. I am sure the oxygen tank was spent far faster than it should have been. When I got back on shore I looked around and, after talking with several other people, I realized that my evil nemesis was a white harbor seal. A creature that meant me no harm or ill will.

My mind created a great white shark, fully equipped with razor sharp teeth and evil intentions. I was in his world, his domain and at the mercy of what? My own mind, my own illusions led me into a fear based state. There was no shark. But I did not know that. I saw something and created something entirely different.

We do this all the time. We see one thing and create another. And this phenomena is not limited to just our sight. Try these on for size:
You walk up to 2 or 3 of your friends who are talking and you catch your name being spoken. They stop talking when you get close enough to participate in the conversation. You are sure they were talking about you in a negative way. In fact, they were planning a party for you.
The waitress at the café where you are having breakfast constantly forgets to refill your coffee, messes up your order, and is generally negligent in her service. You assume she doesn’t like you. In fact, her child was up all night with a high fever and she doesn’t have insurance or money to get him the care he needs.
Your boss drops a load of work on your desk on Friday and tells you it needs to be done by Monday. You are sure he is trying to mess up your weekend plans. In fact his boss told him to fire your entire division if the work didn’t get done.

You are constantly inventing meaning in your life. It is what we do. We create meaning. We create religion to give our lives purpose and meaning. We support athletic teams to give our town/cities meaning. We worry about the meaning of words and what did they really mean when they said… We look at art and wonder what the artist meant when he created the pieces. We read poetry and try to decipher what the poet is trying to make us feel and think. Books have been written about the meanings of other books. We like the world to mean something. We like people to be clear and concise when they talk to us and”mean what they say and say what they mean.”

When I create meaning, I want to create from a position of joy, gratitude and happiness. I assume of everyone the absolute best intentions. If I think people are talking about me I want to assume they are saying wonderful things about me because I am wonderful. When somebody is neglectful around me I assume they are having a hard time I try to give them some compassion and empathy. When something happens to mess up my plans I assume that it is happening because the perfect other thing needs to take place.

The perfect people are doing the perfect thing in the perfect place at the perfect time. What if that was case? What if everything that happened in the world happened because it was the perfection of the moment? How would your life look if you could accept this as truth? Everything that happens is happening because it is the exact right thing to happen at the exact right moment to the exact right people at the exact right place. AND if that is the case…how does your attitude change about what is happening? Won’t you start looking for the lesson in what has happened? Won’t you smile and nod, knowing everything is just as it should be?

And now you can make it mean something good and true and important, rather than something crude, and mean, and menial. Because everything that happens happens so you can move yourself, your soul forward, closer to fulfilling your purpose here on earth, here in this incarnation.

So, yes, I suppose I really can see clearly now…if I just let my thoughts move from a place of beauty, joy, and blessing. Go ahead, give it a try…after all you can always go back to the other way!

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Goats Head Soup

Sunday Story…Goats Head Soup


“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Viktor Frankl

In every one of our lives we have things that are part of our lives, our traditions. If we don’t have Nana’s cranberry salad it just isn’t Thanksgiving. Or ham at Easter. Or French Toast on Christmas morning. These are the things that create the holiday or the tradition in our mind. If they are not there it just doesn’t ring true.


I hate split pea soup. There is something about the color and consistency and taste that just rubs me the wrong way. Now I have made other recipes with split peas, including soup like substances but there is just something about that soup…this is all in my mind. I know lots of people (most of my family) that love split pea soup. It’s good for you, healthy and nutritious. And I hate it.


I have created a reality in my mind that places split pea soup somewhere in the same neighbor hood as rotten meat. Just plain bad. Is this true? Objectively, the soup is just the soup. Not good or bad…just soup. But I have made it mean something else entirely.


I am a meaning-making-machine. It is the one freedom that can never be taken from me. You can lock up my body. Force the most sub-human circumstances upon me, torture me with inhumane treatment but ultimately I get to make it mean what I choose to make it mean. You can not make me create meaning for myself. Only I can do that.

So what are you making your life mean? What did yesterday mean to you? What about the circumstances of your birth? What does that mean? If you really think about it, objectively again, it just happened…you were born. 10 or 20 or 30 years later you may be railing at a God who allowed you to be born into an abusive household. Or you are wondering why you didn’t get born into the rich family, or the richer family, or why you had to starve for 1 week out of every 4.

R. Crumb had a comic character in his comic books called “Mr. Natural.” Mr. Natural had a long white beard, dressed in a long caftan looking robe, wore sandals and was the ultimate guru hippy looking character. And the question, the cosmic question, he was always asked was “What does it all mean, Mr. Natural?” He rarely answered the question…just smiled broadly like he knew the secret but also knew you knew if you just listened a little. Sometimes he just “kept on truckin.” But when he did answer the question the answer was this: “It don’t mean sh#@.” And right he is. It does not mean anything until you make it mean something.

As you think so your life shall go. Do think you are happy? Unhappy? Lots of friends? No friends? Depressed? Hate winter? Love winter? For whatever you want to find you can find lots of evidence for it one way or the other. Do you see abundance or scarcity…love or hate? How is it people in the same circumstances can have such different experiences? If we all sit at the same table, eat the same food, shouldn’t we get the same sustenance? How can my experience be so different than yours? How can I hate split pea soup and you love it? I get to make it mean what I choose to make it mean.


Your life right now looks to you exactly as you have decided to make it look. You have made certain decisions and done things, said things, went places, all of which put you right here right now reading this particular thing. There are billions of documents on the net available to you right now. And you are reading this one (I am honored by the way). So how is it over how ever many years you have been alive, over how ever many decisions you have made over those years that puts you right here and right now reading this thing I have written for you. Because I did you know…I wrote this just for you. And yes it is written to you. So…take a moment right now and experience the wonder of all the confluence of events that took place for you to be here now.


Pretty amazing, really. What is your life going to look like 10 years from now? How about 10 minutes from now? What decisions are you going to make, what thoughts will you think that will create the meaning you want your life to have? You can control your thoughts. You can create the meaning you wish to create. You can create the life you are living whether you know it or like it…this is the ultimate, the radical responsibility that we must accept to really see the evolution, no the Revolution of our lives. We must accept that we created this life…from the circumstances of our birth, the parents we were born to, the friends we have made, the enemies that have created havoc and drama in our lives, the career choices, the schooling , the marriages, even the children.



Life is fragile at times…one misstep, one zig instead of a zag, a one degree course correction will take you to a completely different destination. Yet you created it, whether by conscious decision or unconscious, it was all you. So what are you going to create tomorrow? You life is a piece of stone waiting for you to sculpt a masterpiece. You can hate it or you can love it. It is just a life until you make it mean something.


“Challenging the meaning of life is the truest expression of the state of being human.”
--Viktor Frankl

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Awake and Dreaming

Sunday Story…Awake and Dreaming

“Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take”

I died last night. And the night before. And I will die again tonight and tomorrow night as well. Every night I die. So far I have managed to be reborn every morning. But there will be a day sometime in the future when I will not see the dawn. This is true for each and every one of us. And from the day I came into the world I have been dying.

The fear of death seems to be a great motivator for so many people…”My doctor said if I don’t lose 50 pounds, I’m going to die.” So you go on a diet and start exercising like crazy because you are going to die if you don’t. You are going to die anyway whether you are 50 pounds overweight or not. Maybe what your Doctor should say is…”if you want to live a life of optimum health and fitness lose 50 pounds.” But that would not really get you off your rear end and on the road to health and fitness.

Let’s be honest…if you do not know smoking is bad for you and the people around you, you are living under a rock. If you do not know that eating highly processed food full of sugar, sodium and trans fat is bad for you are living under the rock next to the smoker. We all know these things by now, at least in this part the world. Yet people are still smoking and dying of smoking related diseases by the thousands. Being fat affects your entire being...from your mental outlook to your ability to move in the world yet people are dying every day from obesity related diseases. I guess the Nile (denial) is not just a river in Egypt.

Or is there something else at work? As humans we are in the pursuit of pleasure and running from suffering. It is part of our condition, part of our Being. But lung cancer is painful (so I have heard anyway). So does the pleasure of smoking outweigh the pain of the disease? Does the pleasure of eating a Twinkie outweigh the disaster of diabetes? Does sitting on the couch for hours count for more pleasure than the pain of watching your children play without you because you are sitting down with your oxygen bottle? Because you were too lazy, or unmotivated, or addicted to change your behavior? What?? Are you serious? Quit making lame excuses and be honest with yourself and the rest of the world…
YOU DON’T BELIEVE YOU ARE GOING TO DIE! Dying happens to someone else. Diabetes happens to someone else. Cancer is reserved for someone else. So and so smoked and drank for 80 years and died in their sleep. If you really believed you were going to die you would live today like it was your last day…because it might be. No, really it might be your last day on earth. Today may be your day to die. Or not. Maybe you are going to be the exception to the rule...the person whose body lives forever.

I know I am going to die. I need to be strong and healthy today to enjoy today. I want my mind to be sharp, my body to be in shape and my spirit to be fresh and clear. I want to be able to have the gratitude of waking tomorrow with all the wonder of a newborn, fresh and clean in the world. I want today to be the day that I clean up the wrongs I have done, because I might not have a chance tomorrow. Today I eat the food that nourishes my body and soul. Today I move my body through time and space in ways that feel good to me. I speak kindly to people because I don’t want to leave their last impression of me sour. I feed my mind uplifting messages that create new thoughts in me and have me thirsting for even more.

The fear of death? I think not. Maybe you are afraid of life? Afraid of the sweet pleasure of a fresh picked apple, the scent of lavender in the field, the sunset every evening, the scent of a newborn. Maybe you are afraid of the gratitude you must have to really live your life full out, in a state of optimum health and fitness. Health and fitness is about gratitude, about living a life with purpose, about being calm and centered in the universe, at peace with my choices. Quit being afraid of living. Quit making choices that kill you in mind, body and soul. Get off the couch and start moving, figure out how to create food that serves you, turn off the incessant negative noise box in the room and start listening to the song birds, the laughter of children and the rocks move.

Pursue life. Pursue life affirming choices, not death. Stop grabbing death and calling it pleasure. Stop making choices based on the fear of death. It is irrational. You are going to die. What you do between reading this and that moment will be everything. Decide to live. Decide you are going to enjoy every moment; you are going to live a meaningful life. Which is simple really…you get to determine your meaning. We are meaning making machines. This is what we do as humans. We create meaning out of our lives. So…what meaning are you living right now? What have you made your actions mean? What is tomorrow going to mean? More of the same? Or will you get going and create new meaning, a new story to tell yourself?

Today is a good day to…live.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Take This Job

Sunday Story…Take This Job

For the last 15 years I have put on my uniform every day and stood in front of people of various ages, sizes, and backgrounds and tried to teach them something about life through the lens of Martial Arts. I want them to understand the power of doing small things repeatedly adding up to big things. I want them to understand the magnitude of intention in their life. To know that success often lies right around the corner from where you want to quit. I want them to understand that life isn’t just about them and their small corner of the world but it is bigger than that. That the only time you are defeated is when you stop getting up. That you can create meaning in your life by simply deciding to create meaning and the meaning you create defines your life. That super heroes walk among us every day and they don’t wear capes or have alter-egos. I hope to impart some knowledge of the value of fitness, diet and rest on their well being. I live my life as if you were looking at me for that inspiration.

I am a miserable failure.

I battle the twin foes of apathy and cultural decadence. A culture that says it is OK to want more than you need. A culture that permits children to eat edible non-food products and advertise those products to them mercilessly while lying about the healthful nature of those products. A culture that makes it OK for adults to take a pill to sleep, another to wake up, another to feel better and another to get it up when necessary. And sell those products in a mass medium that actually creates diseases that never existed before. A culture that promotes rudeness, crass attitudes, rewards bad behavior and glorifies laziness. And no one seems to care.

Actually it seems people like me are the problem. That I and other like me are some strange insects flitting around the head of the elephant waiting to get smashed for their impudence. When I exhort people to exercise more, eat less, clean up their diet...I get:
It’s too hard…It hurts…Why? No one else does it…I can’t stay motivated…I’m bored…It’s not fun...Eating healthy food doesn’t work for me…If I quit smoking I will get fat (better to be a skinny corpse)…If I quit drinking all my friends will leave (great friends who want you to pickle yourself)…Blah blah blah blah

Enough already! I used to smoke. Quitting was difficult. I used to drink---a lot. Not doing it as much was difficult. I used to eat an apple fritter every morning for breakfast…Imagine…an apple fritter, a cigarette and a cup of coffee for breakfast! Changing those habits was difficult. Making time for a workout everyday was trying. Putting good things in my mind required an effort and work. Shutting off the TV was taxing. All of this stuff is simple. Not Easy, just simple.

But you know what? Hard is watching your child die from starvation. Hard is going to work in the fields at age 5 to help support your family. Hard is not going to school because you have no shoes. Hard is walking miles every day to get fresh water for your family. Hard is a lot of things but it isn’t what we think of as hard. And hard certainly isn’t working out or eating right

How many times this week did you say you were hungry? Or that you or someone else was starving? Guess what? You and I are so far from starvation that it is probably not possible. As a matter of fact we are so far from real hunger that we should abolish those words from our vocabulary.

It hurts? Working out doesn’t hurt, eating right doesn’t hurt, quitting smoking doesn’t hurt. Hurt is losing a limb to gangrene. Hurt is starving to death. Hurt is being left for dead on a battlefield somewhere. Hurt is the pain a parent has when their child dies a slow death from a preventable disease. Hurt is what happens in a death camp.

How about bored? Boring is being locked in a closet for days. Boring is sitting, hoping, and waiting for 3 days for a bus to take you to visit a dying relative. Bored is having nothing to read, no one to talk to and no hope for any change.

I am rich. You are rich. The poorest among us are richer than 98% of the world. We have so many opportunities and abilities and things that we lose sight of the many gifts and presents we have been given. What are you doing with the gifts, skills and talents you have been given? Complaining about the stuff you don’t have? No time? You got the same 168 hours I got this week…as a matter of fact everyone in the world got the same 168 hours last week. Those hours are the one thing you can never get back. Ever. They are now gone forever. How did you spend them? How much time did you spend complaining about stuff you do or don’t have, the spouse you do or don’t have, or the things you did or didn’t do. A minute, an hour, a day…how long really? Much too much whatever it was.

What am I going to do about it? I am going to put my uniform on tomorrow, stand in front of you and teach, talk, and act like you are going to get it. Because you are, I know you are. And you are going to join me in fray, in the noble effort and together we will change the world. Won’t we.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Toxicity

Sunday Story…Toxicity

I, you, we live in a toxic world. We are constantly surrounded by toxicity. Bad news barrages our brains. Workplace shootings. School shootings. Bad news accompanied by terrible images hit our television screens and enter our homes on a daily basis. Economic news just drags us down and down.
All Toxic.

Your friends who complain and moan about their jobs, finances, or lack or either one. Toxic.
You, looking in the mirror, complaining about your weight, height, teeth, or some other superficial complaint. Toxic.
You, looking in the mirror, complaining about your lack of male/female companionship and feeling sorry for yourself. Toxic.

How much toxicity are you going to allow in your life? Some people seem to love toxicity. They start their day with a doughnut (toxic) after listening to an hour of bad news (toxic) while they get ready to go to work. Complain and moan about the traffic while on the way to work (toxic), listening to news/talk radio while getting to work (toxic). After arriving and spending the first 30 minutes on site complaining and gossiping about all the goings on over the weekend (toxic) you finally sit down to work and your attitude in the dumps (toxic). How much of this are you willing to allow in your life? Why don’t you change it?

Why ? Because it is hard. It is simple but it is not easy. And actually it is past not easy. It is hard. Change is hard folks. Transformation is painful. Think about a caterpillar…he spins a cocoon and enters it with faith that he will emerge on the other side newly. In the middle he turns to gray mush. In the end he might emerge as a butterfly and then again he might die. Transformation is work folks and it is hard work. That is why so many people stay on the couch. It is too hard to get up and get moving. Much easier to stay down and bury yourself in toxicity and negativity.

Take gossip for example. Gossip or talking about other people without them present is a bad habit. And it is very toxic. Not to the object of your gossip by the way…toxic to you and the other person you are gossiping with. The two of you are colluding to create an environment of secrecy and hurt for your selves. The two of you are joining a society designed to judge and ostracize others. This is toxic to the 2 of you. Because you and your partner in toxicity are joined in a committee to exclude and disconnect from another being. A being that has only done the best they could do given their circumstances and abilities.

How about the toxic nature of the food you are putting in your body? Every day my students do pushups if they have not eaten vegetables yet when they see me. Every day, I mention how important it is to eat right to my younger students. It is one of the things most of us can control…our diets and what we put in our bodies. Over the years I have fasted, been a vegetarian, ate nothing but chicken and rice for weeks. I have suffered in the abnegation of food and epicurean pleasures. Today, I eat what I want when I want. I have no need to suffer for my desire to be “in shape”. I eat to live not live to eat. I am in control of my nutrition and decide how and when suffering is in order.

What about those people around you who are so toxic? The drama kings and queens, the chronic complainers and whiners, and the energy drains who so love to suck the juice from you? What are you going to do about them? And what if they are really close to you, maybe they are your spouse, your parents, your children, or your co-worker? You cannot always just jettison them off the bus. Throw them over board so to speak… It really is considered in bad taste. Especially because they may have so many good things to offer in so many other areas. You get to tell them you don’t want to participate in their toxicity. You get to stand up for yourself and what you believe in. And you should believe gossip and “stinkin thinkin” simply don’t belong in your sphere of influence. Some of these people you are going to have to deal with. But it will be so much easier if you do it with kindness and compassion, realizing that that person is acting and reacting form some unmet needs and are feeling whatever insecurities that arise from those unmet needs.


Getting rid of external negativity and toxicity is simple and easy. Just turn the TV off!!! Turn the radio station to something uplifting … some music that stirs your soul in new and special ways. Replace the bad news with sources that proved positive and life enhancing messages. If the world blows up you will find out soon enough. Someone will call and tell you, guaranteed.

Get rid of the toxicity in our life. You will find it so hard to transform and evolve with a constant fight with toxic influences. Jettison people who refuse to stop gossiping. Turn off the negative news programs. Stop listening to other people tell you how bad things are. Stop listening to the man in the mirror who tells you all the negative things about yourself. Hang out with people who are positive and want you to succeed. Listen, watch, and participate in programs that are life enhancing and happy making. Eat good quality, organic food, well prepared and served with love. This will de-tox you fast. Eating well, sleeping well, and reading uplifting literature, training for something with goals. Surrounding yourself with positive people will all result in an attitude of gratitude, a positive mental outlook and an unbeatable smile, knowing your community has your back. Transform, be a butterfly, get through the gray mushy stage!!

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Doctor, My Eyes

Sunday Story…Doctor, My Eyes

Sometimes you can’t see the forest because of the trees. In other words, your “big picture” view is obscured by all the “little picture” details you are involved with day to day. What we are thinking, doing, and being today affects our reality tomorrow and further down the road. Our modern life is so involved with the minutiae of daily life that it is a small wonder that we can even consider life 10, 20 or 50 years down the road.

I read recently that we are educating our children for a world that does not exist yet, to do jobs that won’t exist for another 5 or 10 years. The top 10 in demand jobs in the world today did not exist in 2004, a mere 5 years ago. How about you? Are you ready for a world that does not exist yet? How will you survive in those uncharted waters?

Although the rate of information is doubling faster and faster with each passing year, there are some things that will be constant. Knowledge may increase. We may “know “more things than ever before, and have more information right at our fingertips, but there are a number of things that we need not worry about changing. The moral codes we live by are not going to change or shift. The ability to hold your center and do what is right is not going to change and your moral compass may be more important than ever. And the person with moral convictions and clear limits and boundaries will be more and more necessary in a world of shifting allegiances, extenuating circumstances and morality of the moment.

Your health and your ability to manage your well being will become ever more critical in tomorrow’s world. The choices you make today around what you eat, how and when you eat it, your exercise regimen, your mental state and the intellectual challenges you set forth, your spiritual ease will all have a hand in determining your happiness and well being in the years to come. These are choices we are making today. Those choices will have a direct correlation on who you are tomorrow, next year and 10 years from now.

You can choose to put good quality, organic locally grown food into your body or you can put pre-packaged, processed, edible non-food substances in your body. One will fill your body with energy and vitality and the other will contribute toward all the disease and malaise we suffer from in modern life. There is no triscuit tree, no candy bar bush, or no fast food field to pick from. Eat identifiable food---food you can identify the origins of, food that will bring the energy of life and sunshine and rain and the cycle of the earth to your body.

There is a thing called the yoga of taking food. This speaks to the awareness we all must have when we are putting things into our bodies. By maintaining present moment awareness we will be filling our bodies with the tools it needs to heal and grow for the future. When we take in food and drink we are, in essence, taking in the energy of the things we are putting in there. So keep in mind the importance of what you are putting in your body. Do I want this energy to be carried in my cells for the next decades or so? What will the substance I am about to ingest look like on me in 10 years? Will I be a processed piece of machinery? Or will I have maintained my inspiration from the earth and all the creatures of creation?

The same question goes for your mind, your intellectual stimulation. What are you putting in your mind? Who are you allowing in there? Are you listening to uplifting messages? Or are you listening to negativity, the droning drivel that calls itself news and information. Who you hang around with will have a direct effect on your mental state as well as the state of your intellect. Are you reading literature with an uplifting message or the National Enquirer? Are you watching educational television programming or Jerry Springer? Are you reading literature, recognized as well written and put together in a way designed to enlighten and edify or are you reading dime romance/western/horror throw-aways? The people we hang around with are not limited to those in our physical presence. It includes the people we let into our living room through the television. It includes the people we let into our mind when we are reading. It includes the music we are listening to. What is the message you are sending into your brain? Who is the gate keeper of your mind? You are the gate keeper and only you. Take responsibility for what and who you are letting into your thought process. Again, present moment awareness will carry us far in this pursuit.

Spiritually, are you connected to the divine? Are you in awareness of the wonders of the world? The truly amazing place we live every day. Again, present moment awareness will help you get there with this. Meditation and prayer are 2 ways to connect with the divine source that moves through us all. At the very least expressing gratitude for the gifts we have, however meager they may appear to be, is the quickest way to happiness. An attitude of gratitude will take you places that a million dollars could never hope to reach. An attitude of gratitude will have your inner landscape always in bloom, always sunny, and ever happy. Be thankful for what you have, for who you are and for the world around you.

What are your eyes seeing? What are you setting forth to be your reality in the world that will be unknown until it is known? These are exciting times…you get to create the life you want. So what do you really want? You better start deciding because you are going to get exactly what you want to get if you know what it is and truly believe you deserve it. Take a look into the future and find your world today.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Demon Lover

Sunday Story…Demon Lover

So very many years ago I woke up in the wilderness. A place that I did not remember being. I knew not where I was really, nor did I know how I came to be in the place I was in. It was in the early morning, that time that isn’t day or night, when things are just a little hazy around the edges. Like the dawn the awakening came upon me gradually, yet inevitably. And when I awoke, in the wilderness, it was apparent that the person who awoke was not the person who went to sleep. I had been co-opted, taken over by some other being, some strange thing that had run my life for many, many years.

Somewhere along the road, I gave up control of my life to something or someone else. It was not a conscious decision. One where I thought, “oh gee, let me hand over my life, all the decisions in my life to this being over here. And the real me will just have seat over here and rest for the next 10 or so years.” No, it was a reaction to some culmination of events in my life. Some combination of things that had happened where it looked like this demon might be a better choice to drive the bus that was my life.

This Being, this alter ego, this demon, ran things the way he saw fit. He did the things that made sense to him and treated the world in a way that worked for him. I gave him permission, tacit or implied, but I gave it to him. He is me, but just a part of me. Not the whole, integrated part of me. He did the best that he could given his unique gifts, skills, and talents. It was not his fault that he was not equipped for the real journey of this particular incarnation. He seemed like a good choice at the time.

I love my demons. Those dark little shadows that run around my psyche, including the ones that have caused me so much grief over the years. We all have them you know. Many people are living in denial about their demons. I recently had a conversation with a friend who denied that he had any shadow at all, that he had done all the work to integrate his entire being. I ran and hid for cover. Folks, our shadow is integral to our integration. The more light there is the more opportunity our shadow has to hide. We really need to poke around and see what is hiding under those rocks.

When I allowed my demon to drive the bus of my life, I thought (as did all the people around me) that the “real me” was still in charge. The “real me” sat over in the corner and took a nap. My favorite demon wreaked havoc and caused all sorts of problems. Of course, for most of us these are “normal” problems…addiction, no integrity, failure to take responsibility, living like you are the only person on earth. Then I woke up in the wilderness, stood up in the corner and decided that the integrated me needed to start driving the bus.
The demon didn’t get kicked off the bus. That would not be a great solution. I made friends with my demon. It is necessary to create a new, symbiotic relationship with my favorite demon bus driver. If I just kick him off the bus, sooner or later he is going to get back on and boy is he going to be ticked off! And a really mad demon is nothing to be sneezed at. If that demon comes back mad, he may just decide to wreck the bus altogether. We often see this happening when people make the same mistake over and over again, with worse and worse consequences. The question is often…”what were they thinking when they did __________again?” Demons want to be loved just like the rest of us, recognized for the gifts, skill and talents they bring to the table. If we reject them they will get mad and then get even. And when our demons get even it is ugly indeed. Bad things happen, bad things like divorce, disconnection, disease, and discord.

So let’s make allies of our demons, our little beasties that serve us in interesting little ways. And they will serve us if we honor their gifts, skills, and talents. After all, that demon drove the bus all those years. It isn’t his fault he didn’t know sound fiscal management or how to raise children. He did the best he could given his abilities and in many ways kept the rest of our psyche safe. We let them drive to protect us, to be in charge because the integrated self wasn’t ready to drive. Well if the integrated self is driving now, the demon should be honored for his contribution don’t you think? So love your demons. Pet them often. Take them out for walks and train them how and when to play nice with the rest of the world. Then they won’t hijack the bus when you aren’t looking. Nothing worse than walking up in the wilderness wondering how and where you ended up there!

Demon lover, that’s me!

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Skeletons in the Closet

Sunday Story…Skeletons in the Closet

Death. The final frontier. It is the time of year that death reigns supreme. The leaves are falling, the garden is dying, and this part of the world is slowing down, getting ready for the death that winter brings. In a few weeks it will be all hallows eve, all saints day and the day of the dead. Traditionally, we consider the “veil” between the worlds to be thinner than it is usually. Actually it remains the same but most of us are not focused on it the rest of the year. In the fall, as it becomes apparent that the world is going to die back again, we focus once more on those people who have already crossed that final frontier.

We have lots of conventions and expectations around death and dying. Depending on your religious traditions you might have some very different beliefs around the whole subject. There are a few immutable facts around the subject that can’t be argued with, no matter what your beliefs or traditions may be.

Your physical body is going to cease operating at some time in the future. Maybe sooner, maybe later but it is going to stop. Once your physical emanation ceases to exist, your body will undergo the same changes that the world is experiencing right now. It will decompose and break down into some components that will no longer be recognizable as human.

The people who are still here will get to deal with what is left. We will follow our tradition and your instructions to the best of our ability but we are going to have to deal with the physical leftovers somehow.

There will be other things for us to deal with upon your passing. They will get dealt with somehow. The difficulties will arise depending on your advance planning. But it won’t be your concern any longer.

Other than those things…everything else is conjecture. So why is so much time spent worrying about what will happen to us after death? Reincarnation, heaven, hell, purgatory, and more, have books, epics, legends and myths all around them. Die, get reborn, come back as a fly or a goat, go to heaven and be seated at the right hand of the supreme being, become an angel, toil in hell for your sins, live an afterlife surrounded by vestal virgins…all conjecture.

I often see a bumper sticker that says…”if you are living like there is no God, you better be right.” Now the whole God conversation is fodder for another story but the point is very real. How are you living? How are you spending your time, your days, hours, and minutes? Is your life living on purpose, with purpose, for a purpose? Or are you treading water waiting for the rest of us to deal with the debris you are going to leave behind?

And once you begin living your life with purpose, once you begin to live your legacy, what about the rest of us? You know, the people in your life who will celebrate your life when you are gone; the people who will deal with the debris and detritus of your passing. Will we be able to celebrate you? Will you have gone back and made amends? Will you have righted the wrongs, cleared up the misunderstandings, taken responsibility for your shortcomings and failures? Will you have forgiven those who need to be forgiven?

The process of cleaning up your life after so many years is daunting. There can be so much to clean up; so much you swept under the rug, thinking you would get back to it someday. Guess what…it is someday today. Pick up the rug and start cleaning up. It is not enough to just live on purpose , you have to look at two other prongs as well…what do you need to do to get things right with the people in your life and who do you need to clear and clean things up with?

On the first front…call, write, email, text the people who you love, who you wronged, who need to know some things about you and your behavior, and the responsibility you are taking for your life. Your life as it now is. Don’t expect all of them to welcome your advances but do it anyway. On the second front…start to forgive and forget the wrongs others have already done to you. Release them from and attachment they have placed upon you and any attachment you are dragging around. Let it go. If they are still physically present, call, write, email or text them their release. That attachment to that person, to that event, or that place needs to be removed so that you can move about more freely and so can they. If you can’t contact them, write the letter any way and burn it sending it off with your prayers of release and forgiveness.

This is the debris you don’t want to leave here. This is the stuff you don’t want to have attached to you when you die. This is the stuff you don’t want to be attached to when someone else dies. When they are gone and you have not reconciled the slings and arrows you will find your grieving process much more difficult. And guess what …if you have not expressed your joy and gratitude to someone who made a difference to you, what better time than now? Do you want them to pass without knowing the joy and love you received from them? If I died today, is there anything you wish you would have said to me?

For those of you reading this, who I owe a letter, email or text to…it is coming. Sometimes it takes a while but it is coming. Soon. Very Soon.

Clean out your skeletons from the closet…shake out those bones and send them on their way. They are just collecting dust anyway…

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story…Walking on Sunshine

13,000 Feet over the Yolo County Airport somewhere near Davis CA.
I am sitting on the edge of an airplane looking at a blue sky, above the very slight wispy cloud cover. My feet are hanging over the edge of the precipice, the open door of the single engine plane that has taken us up to this point. I am seconds away from jumping/falling/leaping out of the plane and into the sky. We are the last 2 onboard; all the other more experienced jumpers have left, flying like raptors darting through the sky. I am going to step into the abyss, eyes wide open, and walk on the sunshine.

It is the day before my 53rd birthday and through a propitious turn of events I find myself getting ready for my first skydiving experience. This is one of the things that I said had no appeal for me…after all jumping out of a perfectly good airplane just seems so very wrong on so very many levels. Then in talking with a friend a month or two ago he said what a life affirming and like enhancing experience it was. That it really gave him some clarity around what was important and what was just dross. Then a week ago someone else sent me a coupon for 40% off a sky dive. Then some money appeared that I did not expect. So voile’ here I am, strapped to another human wearing a parachute getting ready to fall 13,000 feet to the earth.

The moment you drop out of the plane is surreal at best. In the first second or two you have a sensation of weightlessness. Not falling yet, just suspended in the air for a brief blip in time and then the sensation of falling comes upon you. But this isn’t like falling out of your chair or off a diving board because there is no comparative measure to tell how fast you are going. Then you begin to realize you are, in essence, flying. Falling at this speed (120mph) creates a sort of friction with the air that allows you to direct yourself into different places, down fast, slow, stop (almost), right, left, just about any way you want to go except up.

The idea behind this adventure is four fold. One: To fill my well full of life force, of chi, of energy. Whenever I do things that are out of the ordinary, out of the realm of what you might think is possible (like fire walking) I get a direct transfusion of universal energy. This feeds me in ways that are indescribable. Two: to face fear and go ahead anyway. To look inside, take a deep breath, and say to that fear of (falling, heights, death) I see you, I hear you, I get you and I am going ahead anyway. You, Fear, do not rule me, you, Fear, do not own me; I am in control of my life not you, Fear. Three: like climbing a mountain…it is there to do…to say I’ve done this. To be able to enter a conversation about the subject with an experiential knowledge of what it is like to walk on air. Four: it’s my birthday and I can do what I want to!

I am going to pull my own ripcord at 5500 feet. I am wearing an altimeter that measures the altitude and have been instructed to pull the cord at 5500 feet. It comes much too soon. We have traveled 7500 feet in about 60 seconds. The rush of air on your skin is exhilarating. The sensation of flying without support is in a word, amazing. As the parachute unfurls there is a small (hardly noticeable) moment when you wonder if it is really going to open, and if it does, is it really going to slow down the descent? Then the chute catches the air and we are sped upward and our descent slows to about 20 mph. At this speed conversation becomes possible, goggles can be removed and we can begin to manipulate the direction of the chute and the speed of falling. Much like snowboarding or skiing when you turn and head down your speed picks up. I get to pull the chute handles and play with our direction for several minutes.

There is something to be said for doing this sort of thing on a regular basis. Our lives can be so caught up with the day to day rush rush buzz buzz of mundane everyday stuff that we often forget about the magic that surrounds our precious human existence. You can do anything, anything at all. Walk on Fire. Free fall 7000 feet and land safely on the ground. Walk on broken glass. Break bricks or boards with your bare hands. Complete your education. Face yourself in the mirror and decide to become someone else. Look inside and start to live with a passion and fire that creates a life well lived. These are things that anyone can do if they put their emotions, enthusiasm and energy into the things they really really want to do.

We approach the ground into the slight wind so as to maximize the slowing speed. This trip has been way too short. The exhilaration is incomparable. The chi is pumping in my veins alongside my blood. Everything is sharper and crisper; the air smells cleaner and has a palpable feel to it. The landing is soft and easy. I am laughing and screaming and absolutely joyful. Life is good. Life is an amazing adventure. Life is incomparable. Life is what you make it. So what are you making it?

Go here: www.skydance.net you will be glad you did. I was.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...It's My Birthday

Sunday Story…It’s my Birthday!

This is my second attempt at this week’s story. Maybe the first attempt will show up later. It just struck me that I really should be writing about my birthday since it happens to fall on this Sunday the 4th and that is pretty rare in and of itself and the first and only time it has ever happened that I was writing these stories so….

This is not a really significant birthday…you know like when you were 10 and now you are double digits! Or when you turned 13 and a teenager. Or maybe the sweet 16 and a new driver…at least that’s how it was when I turned 16. Turned 18 and you could vote and get drafted. For those younger readers the draft was something the US government had back in the day that required you to enter military service if your number came up. I think you still have to register these days but they don’t pull your number any more.

What about turning 21 and the legal age for drinking alcohol in most states? Then the birthdays get sort of boring…age 25 got a car insurance deduction. Turning 30 was a pretty big deal…it felt like adulthood was in full swing and life was moving forward on some independent track, the train had left the station, if you will. Then 10 years to 40…I remember the mug I got that said “Welcome to 40…the decade from hell.” How very untrue that was! My girlfriend at the time threw me a surprise party. That was very cool. I could not remember the last time I had a surprise party, if ever! So that was really nice (Thanks Cin...hope you are reading this!) Then comes age 50, which for some people is some sort of funeral, like life is now ½ over or something. Or you have seen more birthdays than you are going to see. Since I intend on living to 150 I am barely 1/3 of the way there! My fiftieth brought a helicopter snowboarding trip that was also very cool. Engineered by a different girlfriend and paid for by a consortium of children, friends and well wishers. (Thanks Francesca). And now here we are at 53.

53. Boring. No girlfriend this time to arrange something (I’m really busy not having a relationship). No traditional reason to throw an exceptional party. A few months ago I thought that I might go to Europe for a birthday vacation but with the current economic state that just was not possible. Still it’s My Birthday and I should at least do the birthday dance! Right?

So, as all of my regular readers know (and some of the stranger ones as well) I am all about life enhancement and life affirming activities. I think everyone should do things that light them up. Things that really excites, enthuse and maybe even scare you a little. I think Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Do something every day that scares you.” Heli-snowboarding was a great example of doing something that lit me up. Fire walking is both scary and life affirming. Frankly, if I can walk on fire I can do just about anything. What lights you up? What are you afraid of doing? What do you believe you can’t do? Why not? Who said you can’t? Who said it has to be scary?

Saturday, in honor of my birthday, I am going to jump out of an airplane at 13,000 feet. Yes I will be jumping with a parachute with an experienced jump crew and a tandem jump. I am so excited and yes, a little bit scared. I have been told that this is an amazing experience. The free fall of 2 minutes or so is supposed to be other worldly. By all reports, when it is over you are filled with life and all the gratitude and excitement that life can offer. So I can’t wait!

I really didn’t need to wait to do this for my birthday, you know. And neither do you. You can jump any time you want. Or you can choose not to jump. The jump is a metaphor by the way. A metaphor for moving forward in your life. A metaphor for moving away from mediocrity and into excellence. A metaphor for choosing life…something we do unconsciously every day. Maybe we should consciously embrace life and all the gifts and blessings we are offered. Maybe we should approach today with an attitude of gratitude. Do I really need to jump out of an airplane to find gratitude for life or to feel blessed by this precious human existence? Especially since this is something I said I would never do?
I mean really…jump out of a perfectly good airplane on purpose? How freaking crazy is that?

So what are you going to do today that scares you just a little? Set a goal that is little too high? Try doing something you always wanted to do, but allowed something to stop you. Are your fears irrational? What is the worst thing that could happen? In sky diving that is pretty obvious…failure could be fatal. But if you fail to reach that really big goal? Is someone going to die if you fail? Will you die if you don’t reach the goal? I think not. And you will have achieved something that at least got you closer to the goal than if you didn’t try. Guess what? Success isn’t permanent and failure isn’t fatal. Except maybe in skydiving.

Do something today that scares you. Don’t wait for your birthday. Go for it. Now.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story…The Man in the Mirror

Wants to make a change, has to start with himself.

I have been obsessed with the evolution of the soul. Mine. And yours. This is a big project. Evolving in such a way that all the hurts and suffering of this human existence can be the entrance ticket to something bigger next time. But that evolution is such a huge step and such a big project, maybe we should tackle something a little less daunting…

Have you ever had someone say something to you that wasn’t very nice and you kept hearing those words all day? Even if the person was not even connected to you? Or maybe something happened that wasn’t very nice and you have played the incident for days in your mind? All the things you could have/ should have said in response that would be the perfect words to shut the jerk down. Why do you let this happen to you? I mean you know better intellectually. In your conscious mind you know that the person who said what they said was just being a jerk. And you really don’t look like a man/woman. Or you really aren’t death warmed over. Or your hair isn’t _____ (fill in the blank). So if you know all this why or how can any of these little barbs, these poisonous little darts, hurt you?

They penetrate because you let them. Because somewhere in your self talk you have said the same thing to yourself. Maybe you didn’t look in the mirror and say it but in the back of your mind you have allowed yourself t o talk like that. You have said mean and nasty things to yourself. You got up this morning and said “I’m tired. I hate Mondays. My job sucks. My life sucks. I suck.” Guess what? All those things are true --- after all you said them didn’t you? Then when some stranger walks up and says something rude about the outfit you are wearing…well that is just a validation about how you are already feeling about yourself. After all, now someone you don’t even know can see that you suck. Now it really is true. There is no where good for this to go. It is just going to spiral downward until it crashes and burns like a fouled parachute spinning faster and faster until splat!! The spinning stops.

So you started it with your poisonous little barbs directed at yourself. You took your self image and your self esteem and used them like a pin cushion or a voodoo doll just poking and putting those sharp little digs right where they count. And you are really good at it too. If you think your parents or siblings know how to push your buttons, well they have nothing on you. You really know how to tear yourself down don’t you? And you have had lots of practice too.

Every week I sit down to write this story. I often don’t know what I am going to write until the words start pouring out of my heart and my fingers onto the screen. This would not be possible if I sat down and said “No one wants to read this stuff. I have nothing to say. I can’t do this again. It’s too hard.” No, I don’t say any of that. I know there are people out there who read this story. Maybe even people who look forward to reading it. Grab a cup of coffee on Sunday morning and read the Sunday Story. But even if there weren’t people waiting I would still be writing it. Because I need to say what I have to say.

You need to change your self talk. Building a strong self image is simple really. You have to start with the things you say to yourself. What the man in the mirror says is more important than what anyone else can say to you. Do you get up and say it’s going to be a great day? There are people who live in great places with great lives who are miserable. And there are people who live in the most miserable places and conditions imaginable who are happy. How is this possible? Are some people just wired for happiness? And other are wired to be lonely miserable and unhappy? It seems that way sometime. The fact of the matter is that you decide how you are going to react to what happens to you.

Life is not what happens to you. What happens is what happens…you may not have a lot of control over that part of the equation. Life is what you do with what happens to you. Life is what you decide to make of it. You are beautiful. You are wonderful. You are super good and getting better. You really are. And you need to tell yourself that every day. This sort of self talk is a habit. Getting up in the morning and deciding it is a great day is a habit. Remember the make your bed thing? The thing where I say you should make your bed every day? Here is a little secret (double top secret here!)…when my bed is made, I feel better about myself. I did something, I created a little order in my space today and that feels really good. So after you are done stop for a second and appreciate the small slice of beauty and joy you have created. This is a habit…the stopping and appreciating part. Every day, if you are mindful, there are parts of the day where everything is just right…and if you can take that split second to appreciate it then your life will begin to change. You will look at the man in the mirror and smile and guess what…

He will smile right back at you.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Hotel California

Sunday Story…Hotel California


You can check out but you will never leave...

Ever wonder about why you are where you are?? I mean why are you living where you are living right now? Maybe you grew up here. Maybe your parents decided you should live here. Maybe your car broke down here and you never left. Maybe you came here to die. Maybe you came here to heal. Or maybe you are hiding out. I am not sure it matters why you are here…unless it is part of your master plan for your life. Maybe this is the paradise you have always dreamed of when you retire. Maybe you really like the climate and the people here. Who knows….you are here now.

Unless this is part of your master plan the next question is why are you staying? Are you still healing? What is it going to take to “get better”? How will you know when you get there? Is your car fixed yet? Your children grown? Maybe you are grown? Not dead yet? Maybe the heat is off and you can stop hiding out and go back into the world? Are you looking at any of that? Do you care? Or are you stuck?

Let’s make a plan to get unstuck…to get out of here…to get moving again. Silly you …did you think I was talking geography? Where you are in the world is relatively unimportant. It might not be you ideal place. It might be an uncomfortable place. The fact is …we live in one of the most mobile societies in history. If you really wanted to you could pack up and move almost anywhere in the world in a pretty short period of time. I read about a guy and his wife and their 14 month old baby who are backpacking around the world. I know of people who have left this country for another and another. It isn’t impossible and it’s really not all that hard. And if we are talking just a few hundred miles or so, it really isn’t that big a deal.

No, what I am talking about is changing the geography of your mind, the position of your attitude, or your spiritual landscape. This process may be a little more daunting. This is going to take effort. This is going to make you uncomfortable. You are going to have to practice some radical honesty and radical responsibility with yourself. You will need to look under some big and small rocks and uncover some dark little secret slimy things before you can move on.


You see we get comfortable with those nasty little creatures hiding under those rocks. In many ways they are reassuring and cozy. If we move we might have to take them with us, leave them behind or stamp them out. Any of these choices is harder than doing nothing. Maintaining the status quo is your way of staying stuck.

Step one is actually pretty easy…decide to start moving. Decide to start the process. Notice I did not say to start the process, but rather decide to start the process.
Step two is relatively easy…start some research into what the process might have to look like. Don’t DO anything. Just some reading and talking about what the process might look like if you wanted to shift or transform some of your stuck elements.
After you have decided to start moving and you have done a little research into what the moving process is going to look like you are ready to begin in earnest.

Step 3 Pick a date to jump off the cliff.

Step 4 Jump.

See…simple. Not easy, simple.

This is the process for so many things…decide to make a change, figure out what it is going to take to make that change, and get started. In this case the process for making the shift that will have you living the life you always wanted…one of abundance and strength, a life full of purpose and meaning, and a life that has you getting up in the morning with your hair on fire.

The gap between where we are and where we want to be is the one that needs to get filled. This is our route. This is the path we will be taking to get where it is we really want to be. There are many roads here. I am not here to tell you the one right true way to getting what you really want. It is going to require you to look hard at what you are doing. Jettison those things that will not serve you on your journey. Things like watching TV for hours every day. Things like eating unnatural foods and drinks. Things like not exercising. Many of these things will be difficult. You will want to turn back, like Columbus’ men on the way to the new world. Stay the course you set. Make the adjustments for the unknowns on the route but keep your eyes on the life you want to lead. Keep all eyes on the prize.

You can never leave but let’s get checked back in and get to work shall we?

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story…In My Room

Everything is perfect. It is all exactly as it should be in my room. My room is light and bright populated with friends and lovers. My room is a sunny happy room that serves me exactly what I need when I need it. Except when it is not. Then my room is a dark and ugly little place, full of shadows and nasty, naughty little creatures that bite and sting in ways and places hard to mention. Then my room is a scary room steaming and teeming with all sorts of interesting pitfalls and traps for the unsuspecting traveler.

I live in my room. Just as you live in your room. We don’t have any choice. The room we create is where we live. I live in my head. Absent any outside influences the thoughts in my head create my reality. What would happen to you if I put you n a room with no windows, no color, and no furniture. Just 4 blank walls, no noise, and no other input other than the noise you can create in your head. Would you go stark raving mad? What would your mind create? What kind of world would you be living in?

Guess what? All the distractions around you are just things designed to keep you from discovering the world you have created. If you were to live in the mythical room with no input you would create an entire landscape in your mind. A whole new world to entertain you. It might be a dream, or it might be a nightmare. Could be heaven, could be hell, could be a little bit of both. I don’t know what you will create. I know you will create something. Humans are designed to do this. We are designed to create. And the first thing we create is a reality from our thoughts.

So what kind of reality have you created so far? What kind of world are you making up? The landscape of your room is your doing, your conception of what reality should look like based on your experiences so far. This is why small children invent the most wonderful magical worlds---they have no perception that those things are not possible. As we grow up and grow older we start shutting out and down the possible outcomes we might be able to create. Why? Why would you limit the walls of your room? Don’t you want a wonderful magical room to live in?

Your world looks the way it looks because you created it to look like this. We all have this consensual reality we are living in. What about the parts of the world we have all agreed not to see? The parts of the world that are running under the surface just waiting for you to bring it forward. Can you see the energetic signature we all walk around with? You know the one…you have seen it, felt it…especially after a particularly angry or confrontational exchange. You walk in the room and you can cut the energy with a knife. This dimension is there waiting for you to see it and explore it. Space is not the final frontier. The final frontier is the dimensions here on this world we are ignoring.

So here I am living in my head. Creating a reality that exists for me. Great love affairs. Heart aches and heart breaks. All designed by me, for me, created for the one purpose of making my reality the one of my choosing. In the blink of an eye I can create everlasting happiness quickly followed by a drama of soap opera proportions. Like picking the petals from a daisy…she loves me, she loves me not, she loves… And each petal carries the complete story…a soaring tale of love and transcendent happiness or a story of crushing soul wrenching devastation. Either. Both. Your room. Your mind. Your reality.

Can you take control of this process? How are you going to force your thoughts down any particular rabbit hole? Practice. Focus. Where your attention goes, your world grows. Focus on pain and unhappiness, discord and disease and guess what your world will look like? Here in our culture we have “the war on Poverty, Cancer, Diabetes, etc, etc, etc”. Our attention is on the conflict, the battle, the winners and the losers. The creation of this tension guarantees the continued existence of these things. They won’t go away as long as we are concentrating on the battle. In Aikido the practitioner is considered undefeatable because if you attack him you are attacking the universe and you can never defeat the universe. I am the universe when I stand as one, completely at peace and in harmony with the energy that flows around us all. When I sow peace, love, happiness, and laughter I reap the fruits of those things.

As we grow up we start limiting our world. We make it smaller and smaller. When we are little we our world is huge. When we are big our world gets little. What if you consciously created a bigger and bigger world? One populated by as many different people and places as you could ever imagine. And some you can’t. And a place where you want to spend lots of time. A not scary place, a not dark ugly little room.

So…How ARE things in your room?

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story…Every time We Say Good Bye
I die just a little.

Our modern culture is littered with images like this…when the ONE walks into your world it is shattered and transmuted. And when the ONE walks out your world is shattered and transmuted. We see it in film…”Of all the gin joints in the world she had to walk into this one…” (Casa Blanca), song writers write about it…”Every time we say good bye…” (Cole Porter), and novelists and poets go on about it...That last great love that walks into your life and then walks outs, your heart in their hand. Shattered and transmuted your life is never the same.

This is happening to you all the time. Every person comes into your sphere for a reason. Some of them are there for the really big stuff…the lifetime stuff…some of them are there for a while…the cycle sort of thing…some of them are there for a particular purpose…the specific lesson you need to be shown…and still others are just tour guides pointing out directions, mileposts, or sights to be seen.

The trick is to recognize all these different people, and to recognize where they fit in the universe of your life. For those of you who have not met me I am here as a sign post, pointing out some things of interest, or those things you might have missed. Perhaps we will meet someday and then our connection will shift in some way. When we say Good-Bye there are very few repercussions.

There are some of you reading this who know me in some official or professional capacity, Martial Arts instructor, training partner, crazy guy with the garden, Rotarian, or some other label or pigeonhole you have placed me into. For you, I may be here to help guide you on to some lesson you are supposed to learn, provide some learning or teaching that has been previously unfulfilled. When that capacity has been fulfilled we will probably part ways, or I may drift back into the peripheral category of tour guide. When we say Good-Bye there will be at least a satisfaction of the lessons learned.

There are others of you who know me much more intimately…friends over years, lovers, former lovers, people we can say when this happened it was marked by the presence of this person…for you and I our lives have intersected and joined together and stayed together and drifted apart and may drift back together…we have learned lessons together, laughed, cried, shared triumphs, disappointments, and energy. We may or may not do so again but when we come together we re-meet with a familiarity that doesn’t exist except in this kind of relationship. There are many of you who have fueled the content of these stories…who have provided the lessons I have learned that I now share with the world. Thank You. Our Good Byes cut deeply into the fabric of life, leaving a hole to be patched and mended, never to be forgotten.

Then there are those of you who have been here forever and will continue to be here forever. Parents, children, siblings, all my relations, the mothers of my children, spouses, and the lifelong friends that have been here decade after decade creates a group that is just there. This is the group that stays through the lessons, providing some of them, interpreting other lessons, and sometimes just holding space for us to learn the lessons we need to learn. This is often the easiest group to identify, the easiest group to deal with. Our Good Byes in this group don’t exist until the lights are turned out.

When you meet someone, when you say hello, do you wonder where they fit into the lexicon of your life? When you look across the room at that particular person, the one that is lighting up your energetic lamps, do you wonder what it is that they are going to be bringing you? Or what you are supposed to bring them? Because it is not always what you think…often that little zing of attraction is the universe telling you to sit up and pay attention. This person is here for a reason, has walked into this particular gin joint for a particular purpose. Your job is to discover what that reason may be. And to be open to it changing as your knowledge grows.

When we say Good Bye to some people we are done and over with them, there wasn’t much to be it. With others that Good Bye is a see you later. Still others, a fare thee well on your journey, our meeting is over and finished, thank you. With some lesson learned and Good Bye. And with the soul group, Good Bye for the here and now, see you on the other side.

So whichever it may be…
Every time We Say Goodbye
I wonder why a little.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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