Sunday Story…The Man in the Mirror

Wants to make a change, has to start with himself.

I have been obsessed with the evolution of the soul. Mine. And yours. This is a big project. Evolving in such a way that all the hurts and suffering of this human existence can be the entrance ticket to something bigger next time. But that evolution is such a huge step and such a big project, maybe we should tackle something a little less daunting…

Have you ever had someone say something to you that wasn’t very nice and you kept hearing those words all day? Even if the person was not even connected to you? Or maybe something happened that wasn’t very nice and you have played the incident for days in your mind? All the things you could have/ should have said in response that would be the perfect words to shut the jerk down. Why do you let this happen to you? I mean you know better intellectually. In your conscious mind you know that the person who said what they said was just being a jerk. And you really don’t look like a man/woman. Or you really aren’t death warmed over. Or your hair isn’t _____ (fill in the blank). So if you know all this why or how can any of these little barbs, these poisonous little darts, hurt you?

They penetrate because you let them. Because somewhere in your self talk you have said the same thing to yourself. Maybe you didn’t look in the mirror and say it but in the back of your mind you have allowed yourself t o talk like that. You have said mean and nasty things to yourself. You got up this morning and said “I’m tired. I hate Mondays. My job sucks. My life sucks. I suck.” Guess what? All those things are true --- after all you said them didn’t you? Then when some stranger walks up and says something rude about the outfit you are wearing…well that is just a validation about how you are already feeling about yourself. After all, now someone you don’t even know can see that you suck. Now it really is true. There is no where good for this to go. It is just going to spiral downward until it crashes and burns like a fouled parachute spinning faster and faster until splat!! The spinning stops.

So you started it with your poisonous little barbs directed at yourself. You took your self image and your self esteem and used them like a pin cushion or a voodoo doll just poking and putting those sharp little digs right where they count. And you are really good at it too. If you think your parents or siblings know how to push your buttons, well they have nothing on you. You really know how to tear yourself down don’t you? And you have had lots of practice too.

Every week I sit down to write this story. I often don’t know what I am going to write until the words start pouring out of my heart and my fingers onto the screen. This would not be possible if I sat down and said “No one wants to read this stuff. I have nothing to say. I can’t do this again. It’s too hard.” No, I don’t say any of that. I know there are people out there who read this story. Maybe even people who look forward to reading it. Grab a cup of coffee on Sunday morning and read the Sunday Story. But even if there weren’t people waiting I would still be writing it. Because I need to say what I have to say.

You need to change your self talk. Building a strong self image is simple really. You have to start with the things you say to yourself. What the man in the mirror says is more important than what anyone else can say to you. Do you get up and say it’s going to be a great day? There are people who live in great places with great lives who are miserable. And there are people who live in the most miserable places and conditions imaginable who are happy. How is this possible? Are some people just wired for happiness? And other are wired to be lonely miserable and unhappy? It seems that way sometime. The fact of the matter is that you decide how you are going to react to what happens to you.

Life is not what happens to you. What happens is what happens…you may not have a lot of control over that part of the equation. Life is what you do with what happens to you. Life is what you decide to make of it. You are beautiful. You are wonderful. You are super good and getting better. You really are. And you need to tell yourself that every day. This sort of self talk is a habit. Getting up in the morning and deciding it is a great day is a habit. Remember the make your bed thing? The thing where I say you should make your bed every day? Here is a little secret (double top secret here!)…when my bed is made, I feel better about myself. I did something, I created a little order in my space today and that feels really good. So after you are done stop for a second and appreciate the small slice of beauty and joy you have created. This is a habit…the stopping and appreciating part. Every day, if you are mindful, there are parts of the day where everything is just right…and if you can take that split second to appreciate it then your life will begin to change. You will look at the man in the mirror and smile and guess what…

He will smile right back at you.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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