Sunday Story...The Urge to Purge

Sunday Story…The Urge to Purge

About 3 years ago I “down-sized” my life. I moved into a house 1/3rd smaller than the one I was living in. A 1 one car instead of 2, one bedroom less, everything was smaller. I even lost so much stuff I could put the car in the garage (what a concept)! But lately I have been feeling stuck and cramped and just generally weighted down.

When I look around my world today I see a lot of stuff. I seem to have spent a lot of time (and money) acquiring stuff. Some of this stuff is left over from things I used to do. Clothes, food, books, cds, knick knacks and bric a brac are all there.

I have one cupboard in my kitchen filled with food I will no longer eat. Rice, flour, prepared and boxed stuff, loose stuff, it’s all in there. Yet for some time I have resisted getting rid of it. Honestly a great portion of it is probably waaaay past its expiration date. I will never eat any of it. It’s perfectly good but for some reason I have resisted cleaning out that cupboard. Maybe I am thinking of the day the world crashes down and I will need some weird Thai box food to eat? I have friends who would eat this food. I could give it to one of the food pantries. So what is the stop?

Although my closet today is smaller than the one I had 3 years ago, I do have 2 closets full of clothes. And some of those clothes are still bagged up from the move, so I have not worn them in 3+ years! Again I have friends who would wear some of these things. There are shelters that would take them. There is probably a clothing exchange somewhere that would take them. I could sell them. The fact is that many of them don’t fit anymore, others are a style I don’t wear anymore, and others may never have been right but they looked cool and the price was right. So what is the stop?

My garage is the place where all the orphan stuff goes to live. There are 3 boxes of empty mineral water bottles. I saved them because they need to be recycled somewhere and in California they have an actual cash value. There is an old stereo system that is probably 20 years old including a turntable with no needle and a cassette player…yes a cassette player. And somewhere there is probably a box of cassette tapes which haven’t been played in 10+ years. All of it needs to be gone through and trashed, sold, recycled, given up, or burnt. So what is the stop?

Obviously I have the urge to purge yet I don’t. When I look around I feel stifled and stuck. It is almost like being in a closed up room with no air flow in the summer time---really uncomfortable and hard to breathe. The answer is…just do it.

Just throw it out.
Just give it away.
Just recycle it.
Just burn it.
Just get rid of it somehow, someway.
We all know the answer yet we don’t do it.
We all know the lightness that will come when we unburden our life from these things.
We all know that by getting rid of the old we make room for the new…the new experiences, the new, possibilities, the new people that can come into our lives when we make room.
We all know that purging our junk is good for us once in a while.

Yet it is so hard to do. The task is daunting. When I look at that cupboard I cringe. Yet I know in my head that it will take less than an half an hour to clean up. So what is the stop?

The clothes feel worse. It feels like I have to decide that I am never going to wear that again. That I will never be that size again. That the style no longer suits me. Then when we add in the memories of the clothes…where they were last worn, who bought them, the compliments received while wearing them, it feels as if I would be giving away those memories as well.

Then there is the garage. And that feels just impossible. A huge task. And I am not talking about the work; I am talking about putting the memories away. Taking books I have been carrying around for 40 years and doing something with them. It just goes against my training. On the other hand I haven’t even looked at them in over 3 years, let alone read them. They have been sitting in boxes all that time. The same thing goes for cds…I have hundreds yet today I keep all my music on various hard drives and I wouldn’t have room in the house for the 500 gigs or so of music I keep on those drives. Yet there they are in boxes all over the garage.

The stop is not wanting to deal with the memories of all that stuff. If I keep it all locked away I don’t have to deal with it. I don’t have to sort and sift through the experiences and the good and the bad that all that stuff represents.

We all have stuff. We all have more stuff than we really need. I know I do. And I know I am going to get the stop off and get rid of the stuff that no longer serves me. This stuff is holding me back from what I really want, from the things that will really serve me in my life as it is right now.

Anyone want any of this stuff?


Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

Follow me at:
Twitter --- http://m.twitter.com/jmariotti
FaceBook --- John Mariotti
Blog Spots…John Mariotti
http://feel-good-friday.blogspot.com/
http://sunday-stories.blogspot.com/

Sunday Story...Tribes

Sunday Story…Tribes

A long, long time ago in a place not all that far from here there was a very young man who taught at an early age to like people and make friends. And if someone new came into the school or the neighborhood he went out of his way to make the new person feel like they had a friend in him. It was part of who he was; part of what he thought was expected of him. He brought them into his friends and his groups and treated them like they were important and welcome in the community. It felt like the right thing to do.

Someplace along the way, probably around age 9 or 10 this young man noticed a couple things happening. And these things had him feel sad, lonely, isolated and ostracized. What happened was pretty simple; the new friend left often taking some of the community or group with them, branching off and creating a new group or a sub group that our young man was not welcome into. In other words after bringing the newcomer in, he was forced out by the newcomer.

What this young man made that mean was this: I don’t belong. Even when it looks like I belong I really don’t. And if I befriend someone they will leave after using me to gain access to the people and groups they really need access to. And if I am welcomed into a group or a tribe I will always be the outsider, the interloper who will be expendable once his gifts, skill and talents have been replaced or used up.

Just because you make something mean something it does not make it true or a fact. It is just the meaning you have assigned to those events. Someone else may give those same events a completely different meaning. It is part of our nature as humans…to create meaning.

As I might imagine you have already guessed that the young man in the story is me. As I look out over the past years (and there have been more than a few) the realization has dawned that I have been living out of this “story” for most of my life.

In other words this has been a theme in my life…not belonging. For a long time I have felt like I didn’t have a home. Not a real one…one where people see me and appreciate me. I have spent so long keeping different parts of my life from touching one another that it feels like 4 or 5 jigsaw puzzles that are somehow connected but I am missing the pieces that will connect the puzzle into a cohesive picture. Each puzzle is complete but I know that when they are all hooked together there will be a new and more impactful picture. The question is now: what do you do to find the pieces that will connect the whole picture?

I have been looking for a “tribe” for a long time. I have found many tribes that I fit into at least partially. These are the places and people who seem to welcome me (at least the parts of me that are visible to them). But after awhile I start feeling like I really don’t belong. Like I have missed the “joke”, the inside information that the rest of the group is privy to. Again this is not the truth; it is only the story, or the meaning I have given to the events.

The fact of the matter is until I allow my own truth to be seen and heard I cannot really be present in any place I show up. Until I advocate for myself clearly and with power there is no way to belong anywhere. I would just be floating along, like a piece of flotsam on the tide, showing whatever face needs to be shown at the moment. So that would be the first connecting piece: be my own advocate.

The first piece is closely tied to the second piece: show up fully without fear of approbation. What that means is that instead of a toll bridge between the different elements of my life we are going to bring the borders right up next to each other. My life should be connected not disconnected. When all those disparate pieces become a complete picture it will be easier for the tribe to accept and understand and appreciate me. Or not. Because not all tribes are the right fit.

The last connecting piece is: give up the story. The story that says I don’t belong. The story that says I am not worthy of this or that tribe. That is all that is: a story. This is where we get to change the past. What happened is what happened. What I made that happening mean is all about me. I get to change the story. I get to decide what those events mean to me. And doesn’t it make more sense to tell a story that will serve me in beneficial ways?

So now the end of the story might go something like this: I am a connector. One of the most useful things I do in any group is to connect people in ways that serve them and the greater good. I help people find the places and tribes that will serve them and their chosen vision and goals. I belong and I show up fully and I am accepted for the gifts, skills and talents I bring to the table.

What’s your story? Does your story help you or are you living out of a story a 10 year old told him or her? Wouldn’t it be better if you told yourself a grown up story? A story that has the kind of meaning that will truly serve who you want to be tomorrow?

Go ahead change your past and create the future you choose.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

Follow me at:
Twitter --- http://m.twitter.com/jmariotti
FaceBook --- John Mariotti
Blog Spots…John Mariotti
http://feel-good-friday.blogspot.com/
http://sunday-stories.blogspot.com/

Sunday Story...Get Up, Stand up

Sunday Story…Get Up, Stand Up

Yesterday two of my students were fooling around in class. This is not unusual for these two young men. As a matter of fact it is pretty much the code of the day. However, one of them almost always blames or finds that the other one is causing the disruption. He refuses to take responsibility for what is happening around him. He gets mad and frustrated when the discipline is meted out to both of them. The other one, on the other hand, takes responsibility for what is happening and accepts the consequences. He just would rather goof around than be compliant. So…which position is better?

Personal Responsibility doesn’t mean it’s my fault or I am to blame. Personal responsibility means I am not going to blame circumstances or fear or fate or failure for the way my life looks. Personal responsibility means I am going to stand up and be counted for what is happening in my life.
When I do something wrong, I stand up.
When I do something right I stand up.
When I do something that hurts someone else, I stand up.
When I do something that helps someone else I stand up.
When I do something that hurts me I stand up.
When I do something that is right for me I stand up.
When you choose to live this way the constant is that you stand up…constantly and consistently.

I often write about changing your life and about changing the world. I write about being the person you were put upon this earth to be. I write about being kind, about creating the life you want to lead. I write about living in a way that serves you and serves the people and the world around you. I write about optimum health and fitness. But all of those things take a back seat to personal responsibility.

Personal responsibility is the keystone to living life on your terms. Way too often, way too many of us are just taking what life gives us. We are trying to surf on an ocean of waves with a 2x4 and getting beat up for the effort. I don’t know about you but that just isn’t a lot of fun. I have done this. You have done this. We were just trying to get by, just trying to do what we had to do to get through one more day, month or year, thinking that if we just did x (whatever x is) everything would be ok. Guess what? It isn’t going to be OK. It isn’t going to get any better. Haven’t you noticed that every time we get x life throws us another curve ball? Just when you thought you had it all figured out the game changes? Just when you got all your proverbial ducks in a row someone decided that having your ducks in a row was the wrong thing to do. So what did you do? You chucked the ducks for the next thing it looked like life wanted from you.

How long are you going to continue this way? Aren’t you tired of it yet? I know I am. I can blame the economy for this or that. I can blame this President or the other one. I can look at my life and say I got some bad breaks, that is isn’t my fault, not really, and I can figure that I just need to tough it out a while longer.
OR I can start by standing up. I can stand up and take responsibility for my life, for what has happened to me and for what is going to happen to me in the future. I can stand up and begin to put my life in the order I want it to be rather than allowing life to shove me around like some flotsam in the ocean.

I am not saying this is easy by the way. Because it is not easy. It may sound simple but it isn’t easy. It is going to require a shift in how you view the world and your place in it. You must begin to believe that you are the captain of your ship. You must begin to believe that life is an ocean and if you don’t sail on it with purpose and direction you will end up wherever the currents and prevailing winds push you. And honestly, unless you are very lucky, that is probably not where you want to go.

The direction personal responsibility will send you will be one of your choosing. And just like sailing on the ocean you will need to make course corrections from time to time. You will need to check your compass, recalibrate where you are in reference to where you want to be and make adjustments. You might even have to change destinations to achieve what you really want. But the keyword in all of those sentences is you, I, me…the personal pronouns of personal responsibility.
I am responsible for my life.
I decide where I want to go and how I am going to get there.
I stand up for me.
I stand up for what is right and what is wrong in my life.
I do the work to fix it.
I am powerful because I am the captain of the ship that is my life.

It is never too late to take your power. No matter where you are today. No matter how old you are, no matter how poor, or rich, no matter the state of your health, unless you are dead and in a box, you can take the helm of your ship and start piloting it. So go ahead, decide that your life belongs to you and take the wheel.

Get up and Stand up.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

Follow me at:
Twitter --- http://m.twitter.com/jmariotti
FaceBook --- John Mariotti
Blog Spots…John Mariotti
http://feel-good-friday.blogspot.com/
http://sunday-stories.blogspot.com/

Sunday Story...Sweetness

Sunday Story…Sweetness

There is a drug so powerful that it addicts almost 100% of the people who use it. It is so insidious that the effects can only be seen over time. Yet the short term effects are immediate and noticeable in almost 100% of users. Long term it has been linked to cancer, diabetes, heart disease, neurological disorders, digestive issues, high blood pressure, lever disease, dementia, depression, and epilepsy.

This substance is so innocuous that it is virtually everywhere in our modern world. It appears as a dangerous and addictive white powder. It is available virtually anywhere and it is cheap. So cheap, in fact, that it is used in great quantities throughout our country. We manufacture tons of it and it does not occur naturally in nature.

It is everywhere. It is in our schools, our homes, our workplaces and our recreational centers. And it is killing us. We allow the schools to give it to our children as a reward. We give it to our children without thinking. I grew up on it and so did virtually everyone we know.

Most of us are addicted to it. We crave it and will ruin our health for it without thinking. The cravings are so powerful we will ruin our health before we try and quit. If we try to quit we will have withdrawal symptoms just like a crack or a heroin addict. It may be the hardest addiction to leave behind because we have been brainwashed to believe that it really isn’t ”that” bad.

The drug in question, the white powder I am talking about is sugar...the stuff that sits in the bowl on your kitchen table. You probably have a whole container of it somewhere in your house. Right now your children may have a whole bag of it stashed somewhere in the house. Of course their bag isn’t just pure sugar; no, their bag is worse. Brightly colored wrappers, fascinating logos and combined with other things to make it even more appealing and addictive they went out and begged on the streets for it just the other evening. And we, the adults, the grownups encouraged them to go. And some of us even shared in the spoils when it got home.

You may think this is radical thinking. How can a food be addictive? How can something that we thought was so good be so bad? There are lots of studies and books and articles that prove this out. And it isn’t just excess consumption, although excess consumption is very harmful. It appears that even a bit of consumption can have far reaching effects. And it is in almost everything you eat, if you eat any kind of processed food. For the record processed food is pretty much anything that isn’t meat, vegetables, fruit, seeds, or nuts. Bread, pasta, yogurt, chips, or pancake batter all have sugar.

And yes, fruit does have naturally occurring fructose (a monosaccharide sugar). This is one of the reasons fruit intake should be limited and fruit juice should not be ingested. Fruit juice has had the mitigating fiber and “food” removed from it and results in a pretty plain drink of sugar and liquid.

You have been conditioned to eat sugar your whole life. If you don’t believe me, if you think I am full of it just try to stop eating sugar for 30 days. All of it. 100% clean. After all if I am wrong you can always go back to eating it again on the 31st day. Oh and artificial sweeteners are probably worse. They act the same way in the body, they affect the same beta sites and they create the same insulin reaction as sugar. Except there isn’t any calories, no sugar for the insulin to act upon so there is a large probability that your insulin resistance is going to get worse (this is what helps create type II diabetes by the way)

You will experience withdrawals. You will have headaches, fatigue, cravings, and generally feel bad. Yet if you stick it out you will feel better in just a few days. It is going to be way too easy to fall back into the sugar abyss. Sugar is ubiquitous…it is everywhere. And the real challenge will be over the next 2 months.

This Monday marked the start. Not the start of winter, although winter is certainly trying to arrive. Monday was Halloween and the start of “treat” season. The next 2 months will be filled with candy, irresistible deserts, favorite comfort foods, and a wink and a nod to overeating. Guilt and pressure to “try everything” will be paramount. So much of the food we associate with comfort, and home, and the holidays are sugar laden bombs just waiting to go off to the detriment of your health.

Is your health important enough to you to stop eating sugar? Or have you dismissed me as some kind of crazy, a fruitcake who has fallen into the soup of crazy nutrition advice? You don’t have to believe me. You can do the same research I have done. Go ahead and Google it…sugar addiction. Or just about anything with sugar…sugar and diabetes, sugar and obesity, sugar and hyperinsulinemia, sugar and depression the information is readily available.

Or you can stick your head in the sugar bowl and say it just isn’t true. After all the government and the major food companies only have your health interests at heart. The only person who is going to suffer is you not the FDA or the USDA or Monsanto, or Pepsi, or Coca Cola. And really you have nothing to lose by stopping for 30 days. Just 30 days of no added sugar. C’mon you can do it!

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

Follow me at:
Twitter --- http://m.twitter.com/jmariotti
FaceBook --- John Mariotti
Blog Spots…John Mariotti
http://feel-good-friday.blogspot.com/
http://sunday-stories.blogspot.com/