Sunday Story…Before ABC

A=Awareness
B=Boundaries
C=Confrontation

I have taught self-defense (Fear Adrenaline Stress Training) to hundreds of women, men, and children. The ABC’s was where we started and finished. But as I have listened and read the stories from #metoo, #whyididn’treportit, the recent SCOTUS hearing, and more I have come to the realization that I should have been teaching something before awareness.

Once I am aware of a potential situation (or even just having heightened awareness) it can be too late. Now, that awareness can give me the knowledge needed to recognize the “golden moments” that occur so I can avoid further complications. But what happens before that?

What happens before that is the way we speak about each other. I’m sure none of you have ever said, “that’s gay” and meant it as an insult. I’m sure I’ve never called anyone a p#$#$y and meant to call them weak and powerless. I’m sure no one has ever said things like, “Indian giver” to demean someone who isn’t honest or “trailer trash” to insult a person who isn’t as wealthy or as smart as you. No, none of us has ever used any of those turns of a phrase. Those are just a few of the insults we throw around casually. Often we find them buried in our speech and thought patterns without really knowing they are there.

What happens before that is not owning our no. How many times were you forced to hug or kiss a relative or friend of the family when you didn’t want to just to be “polite or a good boy/girl?” How many times have you asked your children to do the same? We need to proudly own our no. Not say yes when we mean no just to get along or not cause any ripples. On the other side, we also need to say yes when we mean yes. Too often we say no or I don’t know when we want to be asked again or to be pursued. No means no, it shouldn’t mean try again, or not yet, or maybe later (after I’ve had more to drink.)

When we start to fix what happens before awareness we might have a chance to stop the endless cycle of mindless violence. Ending it starts in my mind, my language, and my actions. It starts with me.

Be aware of your internal dialogue first. Own your no and when you are a yes be an unequivocal f%&*k yes!

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.com
775-338-2412
Coming soon: www.johnmariotti.com