Sunday Story...To Die For

Sunday Story…To Die For

2008
Silver state 50 mile race. We are going to run from Rancho San Rafael Park over Peavine to Verdi. And back. I am trying to finish in less than 12 hours in order to have a qualifying time for the Western States 100 miler. I did this race for the first time last year in 13 hours. I ran 50 miles around a track (200 laps) in 11 hours and 30 minutes the summer before today. I ran a 50 kilometer race about 8 weeks before this day and a ½ marathon about 3 weeks before this day. It is a beautiful day a little warm for this early in May but the sun is out and it is most pleasant.

Around 10 miles in I realize I am not feeling great. My nutrition plan isn’t working quite right and I just don’t feel on. But I press on…it is too early to tell how the race is going to go. Somewhere around 25 or so miles I know this is not going to be my best day but I am ½ way and I don’t want to quit yet, besides I have a pacer going to join me in Verdi at the turn around point and that should improve things. Up to this point I have been alone.

At about 31 or 32 miles I pick up Katie R. my pacer. She immediately notices that I am not drinking enough water and starts in on the mantra…drink, drink, drink. My right knee is starting to act funny and I definitely feel like something left on the road dead. But I hate to quit. Absolutely hate to quit when I have anything left to give. So I press on, besides Katie is ready to go. The last 11 miles are all downhill. This really really really sucks. My knee is throbbing, my gait is off my body is starved and I am barely staying hydrated. With about 3 miles left they try to pull me off the course as the 13 hour time limit has passed. I refuse to come off the course. I am basically out of my mind at this point but I don’t run 47 miles out of 50. So we finish, every step is agony and suffering. The knee is shredded. Surgery takes place about 6 months later. I finished dead last.

Last Thursday
My left knee has been troublesome for 3 or 4 months. I have been trying to not push it too hard but I also refuse to stop. While doing box jumps (jumping up on to a platform and down) I feel something in the left knee give out. I still have several sets of jumps to finish. Do I quit? Slow Down? No and no. I complete the entire 150 jumps. The next day I can barely walk. This morning I can walk even less. Now there aren’t any jumps in my near future.

What is it that has us continue in the face of pain and injury? Maybe even in the face of permanent and long term pain. In my two examples above there was no 8” high trophy, no $25,000 check, no date with a super model. Nothing to gain but the satisfaction of finishing something that I started. It has been said that men will die for points. Why is that? Why will we continue just to say we finished?

I believe it is part of our make up to continue in the face of adversity; that there is something within us that wants to be able to say I Did It. I finished the task. I decided to do it and I have done it. Mission accomplished. Yet not everyone does it. And honestly I would be better off today if I had made a different choice in both of those examples. I probably could have avoided surgery on the one knee in the first example and I certainly would be walking better today in the other example.

It was clear to me in the second example that I should stop yet I did not. I considered stopping yet I did not. I work out enough that calling a halt to that activity was not going to jeopardize my fitness level. Yet it did jeopardize my overall health. Maybe I have a wish to be hurt so I can stop? Unlikely. Maybe I just want to beat everyone else doing the work out? More likely. Once again a man dying for points.

I am not going to let someone else beat me if I can help it. I am not going to put up less than a 100% effort for any endeavor. If it is worth doing it is worth doing with my entire being, my entire heart and soul. Too often in our world today, too many people are just going through the motions. They show up, clock in and go back to their stupor. They bring no passion, no energy, no chi to the game. The game just plays them not the other way around.

The game is life folks. Life includes your workout, your 50 mile race, your job, your family, your personal growth, your evolution as a human on the planet. Will you die in pursuit of your life, or would you prefer to die quietly, going out without a whimper?

For me I want to go completely used up. I want to have done all there was to do, jumped every jump, ran every race, tried everything…leaving nothing on table but crumbs. Don’t carry me quietly, get out of the way as I slide into the grave screaming woo hoo what a ride!

How about you? What will you die for? What will you live for?

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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