Sunday Story...10 Reasons NOT to CrossFit

It's hard, really hard

Well not really but that is what you will tell yourself in order to not do it or to stop doing it or to discourage your friends from doing it. Anyone can do it if they want to…after all it is only movement you already doing…or would be doing if you got off the couch long enough.

You will get injured.

As if sitting on your big ole behind isn’t injuring your heart, lungs, and joints already. It isn’t safe to drive your car 200mph down a crowded street either…and that is why you don’t do it. Use your brain, get your ego out of the way and learn to do something right before you go hard and heavy.

You don’t want to bulk up.

Which is different than bulking up that spare tire you’ve been working on, right? If anything you will lean out, your muscles will lengthen and you will look more like Tarzan than Conan (the barbarian not the late night guy)

It’s a cult.

And Fox news isn’t? And blindly following diet advice that hasn’t worked for the last 40 years isn’t? And Richard Simmons, and Jane Fonda, and Jim Fixx, and Zumba, and Spinning, and P90x, and Insanity are all what? Are we CrossFitters a rabid bunch? Only because we see the transformation but really if you don’t join us it’s OK, there are only so many barbells to go around anyway.

There aren’t any cool machines or slick salesmen or valet parking.

And those contribute to your fitness how? Enough said.


CrossFitters eat weird food.

Yep…all those real vegetables and meat are nowhere near as normal and natural as that big bag of white protein powder and pre-digested Franken food from some laboratory in China. We all make fun of MREs (meals ready to eat) and then join some group that makes us buy their packaged laboratory produced processed food that in no way resembles real food. Learn where your kitchen is and start figuring out how to use those strange appliances that live in there.

The clothes are strange looking.

What? Really? Clothes? If they keep you warm or cool and cover the bits you don’t want the world to ogle what difference does it make?

There isn’t any scientific basis for the workouts

You are kidding right? Since when did you do any real scientific research? Last time I checked there wasn’t much research that said eating French fries, drinking beer, and watching T.V. was going to make you healthier or happier. Unless you count Homer Simpson. Besides a P.H.D. in Physical Therapy, or a Doctorate in exercise physiology, or a Masters in Sports Conditioning probably don’t really count as real education (just to name a few of the qualifications from the leaders in CrossFit).

I don’t need a coach to help me with such simple movements like pushups, pull-ups, sit-ups, and squats.

Michael Jordan had a coach his whole career. Barbra Streisand has a voice coach; Marlon Brando had an acting coach. But you know it all…that’s why you are in such great shape. A coach gets you where you want to go in the safest, fastest, most efficient way possible. Unless the only place you are going is to the bathroom during commercial breaks.

And finally…

If CrossFit was really all that there would be a celebrity endorsement and ads on T.V.

Like Mariah Carey or Jay-Z or the Kardashians know anything about real fitness. And we all know that if it isn’t on T.V. is just isn’t real. Not. We just don’t care about that stuff…we care about how well you move, when you move and what you move…little things like moving large loads over long distances quickly.

What CrossFit is:

Constantly Varied
Functional Movement
Highly Intense
Designed to create Fit Humans who are ready to perform whenever and however they choose to.

Simple.

Not Easy.

Do It.

Now.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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