Sunday story…If I Stick a Pen in My Heart

And spill it over the page will it satisfy you?

What if I stick the pen in your heart? Will you bleed all over a page too?

You know that is what I am trying to do don’t you? I am trying to get you to wake up. I am trying to get you to sit up and take notice of what is going on around you. Is it working yet? Maybe more blood, more guts more self revealing truths will get you started looking into the dark abyss of your own soul…both light and dark. Because, even in the most well lit of places there is a shadow somewhere. You might not be able to see it right off, you might not be able to identify it immediately but it is there, as sure as I am sitting here, that shadow is there.

That is why I am driven to reveal and expose myself like some strange nocturnal creature. So what is it that I am trying to get you to get? Maybe it is all about me…some ego driven trip where I just must reveal and let the world see my nakedness? My stripped bare, shivering, shriveled up kernels of what passes for knowledge exposed to the light for everyone to mock and whisper about.

What I want you to get is the importance of this work. Even if you don’t do it. Even if you say it is too hard, and I really don’t have time, and I really, really can’t look at my shadow --- it is waaaay too scary, if you just say I get that this is important. I get that the evolution of my soul is important but…I can’t go there this go around, maybe next time.

So I am sitting down about to peel another layer of this onion of my soul. About to give you another glimpse inside this twisted convoluted dark hallway that is my journey toward something more, something new and transparent. Hoping you will join me in at least looking at your dark, damp, fetid, fecund places. Those places where you hid all your broken toys, all your shattered dreams, all your bad, nasty decisions. Here we go…

There are several different levels of awareness in the world today…1.completely oblivious ---unaware of anything except the little part of the world in which they reside; 2.aware of other people lives ---some space for self knowledge in this area, paying attention to the immediate people around them and their own effect on those people; 3.aware of my own patterns--- allows me to start looking inward at how and why I am doing the things I am doing; 4.aware of my responsibility for my own words, deeds and thoughts; 5.aware of my responsibility for everyone else’s life--- and by everyone I mean everyone across the 7 billion people on the planet; and finally complete compassion and empathy for all of those people along their paths…

Which section do you fall into? Be honest…brutally honest with yourself. Are you willing to accept radical responsibility for your life? Not just your average, run of the mill variety responsibility but Radical Responsibility. What does that mean, you might wonder? In the dictionary that I am using Radical Responsibility means that accept full and total responsibility for everything in my life, full acceptance of all the karma I have created in this lifetime and any others that I might come across. That means if I was abused, molested, attacked, born into a less than abundant life I am accepting that I created that reality. That’s right all of it...the good, the bad, and the ugly…And once you accept that responsibility it is a very short step to begin healing those broken bits of yourself.

If I am paying attention, how can I not see the same patterns coming up over and over again in my life.
And since I am not insane (OK I might be a little crazy but it is hardly noticeable, really) I would
like to get a different result from those situations. Some of you may remember the Bill Murray movie
”Groundhog Day” where he is doomed to repeat the same day over and over again until he gets it right.
Isn’t your life like that? Do you keep doing the same things over and over until you get it right?
The universe is trying to tell you something. Maybe you should shut up and listen.

Maybe you should start really looking at your life and see where you can make an honest appraisal of your situation…what to shift and bring into integrity. It will be uncomfortable, it might even hurt a little (or a lot) but the reward of being so Radically Responsible is enormous. It may be so big that your next step in this life becomes even more joyful, generous and abundant…wouldn’t that be a switch!

So go ahead stick something in your heart and let it bleed...just quit sitting there doing nothing!



Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”

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