Sunday Story... Don't Tell MeThat You Love Me

Sunday Story…Don’t Tell me that you love me

Sorry
Love you
See ya

Yesterday, one of my students was visibly upset. He is a sensitive and caring young man, who takes the words people say a little too close to heart. The world has a tendency to beat him up because he lets it. The things people say mean exactly what they say. We sat and talked. He wanted to know if I liked him. He wanted to know why. He wanted to know what it was about him that I thought was special. What his gifts were and why his gifts weren’t as good as someone else’s. Now, I know this boy’s family loves him and that he is loved. But he is not getting the message. The words and the actions are not congruent.

We throw words around like dust in the wind. And, any more, they often have the same meaning and import as dust. Every day I see and hear children doing things that require an apology and the word ‘sorry” gets tossed out like a scrap of trash out of a moving car. Hoping that it hits the intended target and the target can assume that I really was sorry.

We say “love you” to our children, spouses, and loved ones as we sign off our conversations. 2 words with so much emotion and meaning yet we just toss them out without a thought or a care to how they are really landing.

See ya … will you really see me? Did you really see me just now? Or were you too busy, too pre-occupied with texting, and voice mail and email and the everyday roar of your life to really see me? And what if I fall off the edge of the earth this afternoon? How will you see me then?

My words can carry the impact of a freight train or none at all. Try this on for size: “A bunch of us were thinking that the following things were true and really pretty plain to us.” Not real powerful is it? How about this phrase: “We hold these truths to be self evident…” Wow what a difference. Those words rush at you. Those words hold intention and a depth of emotion that reaches off the page. Throughout history words have been spoken that we all remember…”There is nothing to fear but fear itself”… “Give me liberty or give me death”… “Ask not what your country can do for you, rather ask what you can do for your country”… “I have a dream”… “Be the change you want to see in the world”… Words that carry the emotion and energy of the speaker. Not words that got thrown away. Words that were pondered over, argued over, and fought over by their writers.

I can just toss them out casually, like so much trash. Or I can measure them like each one was made of gold, precious and valuable. Whether I am speaking or writing each word carries all the weight of my energy and emotion with it. So many things get said every day…how many times a day have we said things we really didn’t mean. We said them because it was easy, it was expected, or it was the “right” thing to say. We didn’t mean it, we weren’t responsible for any of the emotion attached to the words and we really didn’t care about the hooks that got left lying around because of our words.

It has been said that our words cannot be heard over our deeds. In other words, what we’re doing speaks so much louder than anything I might be saying. So don’t tell me you are sorry, show me. Show me by using the energy and emotion of your words, show me by taking responsibility for your actions, show me by making it right. Don’t tell me you want to see me if you really don’t ...want to see me. Try seeing all of me right now...the good the bad and the ugly. The bright bits and all the not so shiny parts hiding there in the shadows. Really take a good look and then say “See ya”.

Don’t tell me that you love me. Show me. Show me by showing up. Show me by taking the time to listen. Show me by taking the time to figure out how I can really accept your love. Show me by taking care of yourself first. Show me by being centered and whole first. Show me by being full in the world so our journey can be magical and special. But most of all don’t take love for granted, like a disposable diaper just soiled and ready to be thrown away when you are done with it.

Words can and have changed the world. The Declaration of Independence. The words of Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammed still inform our actions and give comfort and foment unrest across our modern world. Sticks and stones might break our bones but Words will hurt, help and uplift us when used with intention, energy and enthusiasm. So don’t just tell me that you love me, look me in the eye, bring your energy up into each word and then Tell Me That You Love Me.

Namaste

John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
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