Sunday Story…Why (part 2)

It is now official. My video was approved and I am registered and paid as a participant in the 2014 CrossFit Games. All that is left is to book some airline tickets and hotel reservations. So it is real…almost 3 years of work and the goal is within my grasp. The goal to go to the CrossFit Games.

Yet the question still remains…Why do you want to go to the games?

What Coach Fitzsimmons didn’t tell me that afternoon is what would happen when I took on this quest. You see, I took his advice and worked on the things he told me to work on. I got better, my skills improved, my strength improved. I finished #31 that year (2013). I was disappointed. I know I improved over 20% from the prior year but it wasn’t enough. I was missing several components to break into the coveted top 20. 2013 was the last year that just the top 20 got to go. 2014 has been proven to be different. Frankly, I was better but I wasn’t good enough.

What both Jim and my current coach, CJ Martin, didn’t tell about this quest was the price that would be paid. I knew there would be a lot of workouts. They didn’t tell me about the huge time commitment. They didn’t tell me about the pain I would need to endure on an almost daily basis…the pain of injury, the pain of growth, the pain of disappointments, the pain of missed social engagements.

It has been said that it isn’t a real quest unless you might lose your life. I have given up balance for a single minded goal. I have been willing to get up before dawn to work, and long after dark. I have spent hours turning into days in the gym working out and trying and failing. I have learned to love failing. I have learned to learn from every failure, every missed lift, and every failed time trial. I have lost the life that I had to become something and someone entirely new, like a caterpillar and a butterfly.

All my life I have never felt quite good enough. Good but not good enough. Smart but not smart enough. What this is really about is this: I have been measuring myself against the completion of the goal…whether the goal was X number of dollars in the bank, a certain placing in a contest, or an accomplishment at work (yes, there was a time when I worked for a living!) Since my going to the games and my placement in the contest does not define me (see part 1) why go through this much pain, injury, suffering, and angst to go to a contest that isn’t really going to change anything?

There are so many trite answers…because I can. Because I want to wear cool pants. Because I have something to prove. But, really, there is only one reason:

My mission in life is to be as fit in body, mind, and soul as humanly possible.

As part of my mission to be as fit in body as possible, the achievement of a trip to the Games represents an objective measurement of fitness. So, why do I want to go to the games? To prove to myself that I can stay with a plan and see it through to fruition. To know that my full effort is in fact full victory; that failure does not exist except as a teaching tool. To know what it really means to give an honest attempt to climb to the pinnacle in a field of talented and like minded individuals.

What’s your mission? What did you do today to move your mission forward? What will you do tomorrow? I am already looking forward to the 2015 games and increasing my fitness to an even higher level. Triple Unders, anyone?

Namaste

John Mariotti

www.crossfit-odyssey.com
www.martialartsnevada.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com