Sunday Story...Here Comes da Judge

So, I’m out shopping the other day at my local grocery store (a place I don’t go very often) and while I am in the checkout line I look around at my neighbor’s cart. And as much as I hate to admit it, I am looking at the contents of the cart and looking at him and making a cascade of decisions about who he is and why he is the way he is. Keep in mind I have never seen this person before today. Yet here I am deciding what kind of diet he is eating, why he has a 30 pound keg hanging over his belt and maybe even throwing in a couple judgments about his education, career, and child rearing.

This is horrible and wrong of me. There is no other way to put it. And what is even worse? I also get up on my high horse about what’s in my cart and who I am. This is arrogant and ugly. I have no business being this way, my mother taught me better than that. I teach my students better than that. And, in my heart of hearts, I know better.

But I can’t help it. As hard as I try I look over at that cart laden with soda, boxes of crackers and breads, frozen prefab food and I smirk a smug little smirk. I get to feel superior with my meat and bacon and coconut oil and odd vegetables and lots of green things. All because I am sure my eating habits are vastly better, more well thought out, and healthier.

Honestly I do the same thing in any number of other places.
And to be totally honest, with yourself, so do you. Maybe you are looking in my cart and smirking the self assured smirk of the committed vegan or vegetarian. Maybe you look over and see self abnegation and no fun in my cart. And you judge. Sometimes harshly sometimes relatively kindly but you still judge.

I suspect I will never break this habit.
The part of it I (and you) need to temper, to dial down, is the critical condemnation of the other person. Judgment helps keep my safe in certain circumstances. Judgment helps me discern the behaviors that align with principles.
Being critical of others does not help me with my own principles. As a matter of fact, it is in direct conflict with many of those principles…compassion, understanding and empathy come to mind.

I don’t know where the other person has been to get where they are today with the cart they have. For all I know they used to eat only ice cream, Oreos and chips and drink coca-cola exclusively. Their cart today is stupendous improvement over that. And maybe that keg hanging over the belt? Used to be 2 kegs. I don’t know. And I am wrong to be critical of who that person is being today since I have no concept of who they were yesterday.

My judgment says more about me than it does about the other person. What I do with that judgment says everything about me. Do I use it to find compassion, to find a way to be of service, to be understanding and empathetic? Or am I using it to feel better about myself, to let my arrogance and snooty nature rear up?

You get to decide. In the meantime don’t let your cart judgment get away from you…you never know who might be sitting in judgment of your cart!!!

Happy Shopping!


Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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