Sunday Story...Will Power

Sunday Story…Will Power

So we now know that sometimes it really is hard (last week’s story at: http://sunday-stories.blogspot.com/ ). It is hard to shift and change things in your life especially if you are battling addiction and disorder. Getting help and support are critical to success in those instances.

The rest of us have to rely on good old fashioned will power. Because even if we aren’t battling some external demon all of us need to exert some measure of will over our desires. In some traditions desire is believed to lead to suffering and the cessation of desire will lead to enlightenment. Unfortunately not many of us hit that mark…OK, no one I know has hit that mark. Desire is not going to go away. Especially around many of our food and lifestyle choices.

I love chocolate. I really enjoy how a good, dark, 70 or 80% cacao feels in my mouth and how it tastes on my tongue. Yet I know that if I eat too much of it the enjoyment will lessen and there will be a penalty for eating too much of it. The desire is there. Intellectually I know that too much of it will not be helpful for me. Emotionally I want it. Financially a $3.00 chocolate bar is not going to ruin me. So I exert my will power to eat just one or two squares.

This is the crux of the problem with sex, drugs, alcohol, sugar and other addictions. Sometimes desire wins out over our intellect, our finances, and our will power. We knew we shouldn’t, we knew it was a bad decision; we knew that there was no cheese at the end of the tunnel yet we did it anyway. We ran down the tunnel anyway hoping this time it would be different. And it wasn’t, and we were left with the ruination that desire caused.

So what is the deal with will power? How can I have great success in one area and be a dismal failure in another? Why is it that my willpower wavers late at night or when I am tired, or emotional, or unbalanced?

It turns out that will power is a muscle just like the rest of your muscles. And it is affected by stress, lack of sleep, over use and over stimulation just like the rest of your muscles. All of us have times of the day when we are “better” than others. Maybe for you it is early in the morning or in the afternoon…those times when we are most creative, when we have the most energy or when it just seems easier to get things done. At these times will power is easy. It is easy to say no to temptation, easy to turn your back on that bad choice, easy for your intellect to override your desire for short term gratification.

I turns out that willpower has actually been studied by scientists. They have run tests and conducted experiments on how it works and how it doesn’t. It turns out that will power, like your muscles, can be improved and grown. And if you begin to understand the limitations you can improve the performance of your will power.

One of the first things to realize is that if you overuse your will power it will begin to fail. So if you put too much temptation in front you too often you will falter. Desire will win out. What this means is if your weakness is chocolate or, as in my case, almond butter, stay away from places that have it. Don’t buy it. Don’t have it in the pantry. If every time you get in your car you light up a cigarette make sure there are no cigarettes in the car. The more you have to use your will power in a day or an hour the weaker it gets and the harder it is to resist temptation.

Next get distracted. So when those donuts are in front of you get out of the room and go for a 5 minute walk. If you get sucked into the email vortex, get up before you hit the email button and get away from your desk. Most cravings only last 5-7 minutes (those darn researchers again!) so all you have to do is distract yourself for 5 to 7 minutes. You can do that.

Another little strategy is to eliminate the people and or places that lead you into temptation. If I am trying not to drink, hanging out at the bar is a bad idea. If one of my friends always brings pizza or McDonald’s over either dis-invite them or tell them to stop. If every time I go to Facebook I lose 30 minutes of productive time don’t go there.

Yet, as Oscar Wilde once said, I can resist anything except temptation. You need to reward yourself for working on your will power muscle. Obviously, if I am trying to stop eating sugar I should not reward myself with a snickers bar. But I could reward myself with a new book, if that was my thing or maybe a shopping spree after 30 days of sugar prohibition to celebrate my new svelte figure.

Will power is not unlimited yet you can get better. Will power needs help. Trying to resist the rocky road ice cream in your freezer late at night when you are tired is more difficult than in the middle of the afternoon. And it is way easier to resist if the quart of Ben & Jerry’s is not even in the freezer! Will power can be strengthened if you work at it but just like any other muscle it needs time to rest and recuperate. Be kind to your will power and it will be your best ally!

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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