Sunday Story...Where's the Beef

Sunday Story…Where’s the Beef?

Some of you may actually remember this phrase and the advertisement that sparked the saying. A small, diminutive grandmotherly type lady by the name of Clara Peller goes to several fast food restaurants and wants to know “Where’s the Beef?” Of course at Wendy’s, the ad producer, she doesn’t have to ask the question. The phrase, “Where’s the beef”, got ensconced in our popular language to the point of then Vice President Mondale asking his opponent Sen. Gary Hart during a debate in 1984, “When I listen to your new ideas, I am reminded of that ad…”Where’s the Beef?” The ad was funny and cute and got the point across. See it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOyQfd7OqIY&feature=related

So…Where’s your Beef? Where is your substance? Where do you weigh in and stand up? Do you know? What are you willing to stand up for? What are you willing to fight for? What are you not going to allow in your life or the lives of the people around you?

What we are talking about is your value system. What do you value? What is important to you? How important is it really? Would you die for it? Would you kill for it? Go to prison? This is the sort of thing you really should know. You should know what you hold as most important…the things you would do anything for.

Recently a friend of mine was faced with such a choice. He was confronted in front of his house by 4 men apparently bent on harming him, taking his property and possibly hurting his child. He made a choice in a split second that has changed his life, took the life of one of the attackers and protected his person, his child and his property. There was a line he wasn’t going to allow to be crossed. He knew where his beef was, where his stand was going to be made.

Throughout history we revere examples of this sort of courage, this sort of stand against overwhelming odds. The Spartans at Thermopylae, lauded in a number of poems and enshrined in the movie, The 300, comes to mind. The Charge of The Light Brigade, Schindler who saved so many from the Nazis, the Alamo and others all call forth the vision of standing for what’s right and true. These were people who had the courage of their convictions. They were not going to just roll over and let the other side have their way.

The question, Where’s your beef, isn’t about making a last desperate stand on some remote mountain somewhere, spilling your blood in a last ditch attempt to stave off the inevitable. No the question I am asking you is about your limits and boundaries. What will you stand for and what are you willing to do, lose, sacrifice for that principle? What is your drop dead no way line? What are your deal breakers? At what behavior will you call a halt to the relationship?

These are questions you better have answers to. We find people who know who and what they are standing for attractive. It is one of the things that we adore in our politicians. And often the more didactic and pedantic they are the more we love them. In other words we love people who are definite about what they believe in. We find this attractive even if we disagree with their positions. We want to know where people stand. It makes it clear to me whether you are someone I want to be in relationship with or not.

Think of politicians…when they flip flop we immediately dislike them. If they won’t state clearly and concisely what they believe and where they stand we run to those that will. Confidence and clarity are attractive both in our mates and our politicians. In a mate I need to know you have my back if stuff hits the fan. In a politician I need to know you are going to do what you said you are going to do and not waffle between trying to make all the people happy and doing what’s right.

A lot of this comes back to the integrity we talk about so often. Part of integrity means we are clear about who and what we are. There is no question about my values. I may shift my methods, I may need to change my clothes if you will but my underlying structure remains strong and secure.

So again I ask you…”Where’s your Beef?” What do you stand for? How are you going to find out?
Ask yourself a few questions…
What would you allow with no response?
--someone to kidnap your child
--someone to call you names
--someone to paint a cross on your neighbor’s lawn
And then…how would you respond, knowing full well you might die or go to prison if
--someone was to kidnap your child
--someone was to call you threatening names
--someone was to paint a cross on your neighbor’s lawn

On a more personal level what are your deal breakers in your current relationship? In other word what will cause you to walk out of the relationship? Do you know? Does your partner know? It might be good to have this discussion. It is important that these things are clear to both parties. What may be your deal breaker may be no big deal to me. It would be good information to have!

Your values should be yours, not mine, not your pastors, not your governments…yours. You should be the final arbiter of what is right for you and your life. Then you should gather people around you who have similar values. In there we build a community that is going to work toward a common goal in harmony, comfort and peace. There’s your beef.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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