Sunday Story...Integrity

Sunday Story…Integrity

Integrity. Truth. Honesty.

There are few things more important than your integrity. It is the one thing that no one can ever take from you. But it is something you can give away, lose, or destroy on your own.

I define Integrity these days very simply…Be honest, Tell the truth, Play by the rules, Keep your promises. I have also Integrity defined as “doing what you say you are going to do when you say you are going to do it.”

Be honest…first with yourself, then with the world around you. If you cannot be honest with yourself you are in serious trouble. If you ask yourself if you are doing your best work and the answer is “I don’t know” then you are not being honest with yourself. Usually answers like I don’t know, I’m not sure, and the shrug of the shoulders are answers that include a certain amount of self-delusion. Be honest with yourself first. Look inside and be brutally honest about how you feel and what you are thinking and doing. Then when you are asked a question you can do the next thing…

Tell the truth. This does not mean to be mean or rude or disrespectful. It means to tell the truth and tell it in a way that is honest. On one hand this is very simple…don’t lie. If the answer is white don’t try to tell me the answer is black. Just don’t do it, it is not ok. Lying is pervasive in our society. We see large companies telling us things that are not true and using the excuse that it is marketing. Telling me something is good for me when it is not good or is marginal is a lie.
Then there are the lies of omission…in other words those times when I leave something out because you didn’t ask the right question or ask it in the right way. And that way allows me not tell you something that I really should. You know when you do that, it feels a little dirty coming off your tongue, just a little bit sleazy. In the back of your mind you know you left out a vital piece of information. If you are telling the truth, you don’t leave out that piece…a lie of omission is still a lie.
Let’s not forget the lies of shading. Those are the lies when we take the truth and cover it with an umbrella so the truth is there but not quite visible. I spin a tale that is true but the truth is hidden, but just a little askew, obfuscated under the spinning story I am telling you. Still a lie isn’t it? Maybe a little nicer but still a lie.

Play by the rules. Simple really, right? I mean the rules are the rules. They are usually written down and clear. All you have to do is follow them. Well…sometimes the rules are not exactly clear right? So do you go by the letter of the rule or the spirit of the rule? And what about the games where the rules are not written down? Where we all just assume the rules to be one way, to be the way we have always done things. Where is your default position? The spirit or the letter? For me, I look to the spirit of the law first. What is the way to play the game with the most forthright and honest position, for the game or the playing field to be the most level? Is it so important to win that you will shave the issues and jeopardize your personal integrity? How much money is that worth to you? We have seen the answer over and over again in the professional sports world…people who are making millions and millions of dollars who cheat to win or shave their way around the truth to get more accolades or titles. When we find out they have been lying or cheating we are crushed…we expected better, we deserved and hones game, one of integrity and honor.

Keep your word. It used to be that a man’s word was his bond. I kept my word even if it cost me, and cost me dearly. If I could not keep my word, my bond then I had to go forth and make it right. Million dollar deals were consummated on a handshake. I trusted you and your word even if I did not know you. Now it seems even the people I know can’t be counted on to keep their word. To look me in the eye and tell me the truth even when they are doing me wrong, not keeping their word. This is a very, very sad state of affairs. If you say it make it so. If you can’t complete, especially due to circumstances out of your hands, then do what you have to do to make it right. Better yet, move heaven and earth to complete the task , to fulfill your bond. Help us regain the trust we should have in each other, in our fellow man. Because, sadly, we have lost it.

I can’t force you to live a life of integrity. I can live my life as an example of it. And not just outwardly. I must, and most importantly, like a life of integrity for myself and with myself. I must live a life of integration (it’s part of integrity), a life that is complete and whole and aligned with who I say I am and who I am being. Will I fail? Will I fall down and come up short? Of course I will. Of course I have. But I will get up and admit my mistakes and start again down that path. For me this path appears to be the only one to walk? What say you?

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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