Sunday Story…Why

Do I workout, or more accurately why do I workout like a mad man?

To stave off the ravages of time?
To prove how fit I am (to who?)?
To look better naked?
To eat or drink whatever I want?
To be healthy(er)?
To compete at the highest level of fitness?
To live an extraordinary life?

All of those things, to some degree, are true. I do want to age well and be able to do what I want when I want no matter how old I am. I am proving how fit I am to myself every day. Looking better naked? We will let that one go! I do eat and drink whatever I want, although what I want isn’t trash or poisonous to my health. Yes, I want to improve my health every day. And the goal is to show up next year at the CrossFit games ready to take on the world.

But as fine as all those reasons are, they aren’t the primary impetus for going as hard as I do. They aren’t enough to put my body, and dangerously, my health on the line. I am writing this with one hand after being surgically repaired 2 weeks ago (tendon). Those reasons are not enough to have me start lifting weight and pushing my body less than 2 weeks out of the operating theatre.

So…Why? What is driving this bus? What is it that has me relentlessly pursuing this thing?
In a nutshell: the pursuit of excellence. The desire to be the best. At the end of the day the ability to look back and say, today I touched excellence and tomorrow I am going to do it again.
In the words of Aristotle:
We are what we do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

At the end of the work can you say you gave full effort? If so it is a victory…a victory over mediocrity, the defeat of average, of the mundane, of everyday ho hum, hum drum.

Pursue excellence. Live extraordinary.
Join me.

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412

Sunday Story…Bittersweet

Yesterday I gave my daughter’s hand in marriage. As a decidedly non-traditional individual I had no idea of the emotional repercussions that would resonate through my being. Those of you who have been through this know what I am talking about.

As parents, our job is to get our children to adulthood, to provide them a platform to succeed in life, to be fulfilled and happy, and to have the kind of life they want. When we can do that, we can feel like we have been relatively successful in the venture.

The dichotomy of being successful is that we also know that our child no longer needs us the way they did before. Thus, the bittersweet nature of being a parent. There is no more poignant moment than a wedding. It is in that moment that it is obvious our child is no longer a child but a full grown adult about to embark on their own journey.

There was a moment yesterday when I was so proud of my daughter, of the woman she has become, the things she has accomplished, the love she has found, and the life she has built. My heart was full and overjoyed. It is difficult to express the overwhelming emotional whirl in that moment.

At the same time I remembered all those moments growing up…the moment of her birth, her first steps, the baby teeth, the skinned knees, the push and pull of growing up and growing away, the young adulthood of freedom, and now the joining of the community of family. It is in that remembering that a life of memories, joys and sorrows, and the hope and wishes for the future lie.

Yesterday was one of the happiest days of my life and one of the most poignant. I would not trade it for anything in the world.
To my daughter and her new husband I wish you all the love and all the joy and success in the world.
To my daughter I say this: Thank you. Thank you for all your love, thank you for taking the lessons that worked for you and rejecting the ones that didn’t. Thank you for being strong, thank you for being open to love. Most of all, Thank you for being my daughter. I love you now and forever.

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412

Sunday Story…the sound

Of one hand clapping. This is a well known Zen koan designed to aid in the process of insight or enlightenment. The fact that there is there is no correct answer to any koan is where the insight lies. What you are, what you know, or what you believe is what you get based on your experience, your ability to focus and concentrate, or your level of training.

So what is the sound of one hand clapping to you? And why am I asking this today? To the first you will need to search for the answer yourself. To the second it is because I am typing this today with one hand after surgery on my left (dominant) hand. To myself I am asking what is the use of one hand if not for clapping.

I certainly can’t use it for much else. Yet there it is where it has always been at the end of my arm. It will eventually function as it always has…opposable thumb and all. It is in this slight misfortune that a fortune of learning may lie. Therein lays the subject of this meditation: how to find the fortune in any misfortune.

When faced with adversity what is your default position? Where do you go first? Do you crawl under the covers and bury your head in the sand hoping it will go away on its own? Do you fight and rail and try to beat it with a show of will and power to scare the misfortune away? Or do you look deeply and search for the deeper meaning in the difficulty? Do delve into what you may have done to land in the middle of your current maelstrom? Is it always some outside agency? Or could it be some accident of circumstance? Or is it the universe laying the groundwork for some new insight or another drop in your bucket of enlightenment?

The loss of my dominant hand, however temporarily, is the universe slapping me upside the head to get me started on my writing. One of my great fears in life is that I will die with my stories untold inside of me. Yet, I have not been actively searching them out and putting them to paper. This is the universe’s way of showing me the folly of not listening. If you think this is bad imagine what will happen if you can’t get these stories out? The soul crushing weight of not fulfilling the work I was set to do is a lot to bear.

What aren’t you listening to? What messages are you just ignoring by putting their genesis on outside influences instead of getting your ear to the ground to find the true meaning? It is happening all the time if you truly listen. It is a practice, like meditation, to listen to the whispers of the universe.

Unfurl your inner ears to hear what is always being spoken.

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412

Sunday Story…What to say

What is there to say in light of the past week’s incidents? I don’t have all facts that I do know. I heard a lot of theories and opinions about what happened and why. Most of that information is about a useful as teats on a boar (to dredge one of the many country aphorisms I know). It is said by someone with an ax to grind, a position to defend, or a pulpit to pound. They aren’t worth the paper they are written on.

How many of those talking heads, pundits and nattering nabobs (thanks Spiro) would be willing to set aside their opinions and positions for an honest intellectual discussion on the subject? The answer, I suspect, is not many. Too many people are overly invested in their positions, in being right.

How many of us are willing to do the research, winnow out the facts, to really look deeply into the causes of what happened? Honestly, the answer is not many of us. It will require a setting aside of years of cultural conditioning, societal pressures and our own deep prejudices. What it comes down to is this: We would rather be right than be connected. This insistence creates an immovable place. We will be unable to see any other point of view or embrace any other position. This separates us from our fellow humans and allows me to be insulated from their lives and suffering. And yes, this life, for all of us, has suffering. It is part of the human condition.

We will need to decide to be connected. We will need to be willing to set aside our need to be right and allow ourselves to see the other as ourselves. Would you, right now, be willing to trade places with a black American, a gay Arab, or a Syrian refugee? I do not know what it means to be any of those 3 people. I was not born into those lives. What I do know is their lives are immeasurably more difficult than mine. What I do know is that they are human. And as humans their suffering is my suffering. If I, through empathy, understanding, and honest communication can come into connection with those who are unlike me, then I may be able to ease both their and my suffering.

To paraphrase the Sufi poet, Rumi:
There is a field beyond right and wrong.
I will meet you there.

Let’s stop being right and get connected.

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412

Sunday Story…Independence Day

When I was a teenager I couldn’t wait to be free…free from my parents rules and restrictions. I would be able to do what I wanted when I wanted how I wanted. It was going to be a beautiful thing. Most of you know how that turned out!

Later in life, I thought if I just made X amount of money I would be free. Free from worry, free from the day to day restrictions that not having money put upon me. Unfortunately that didn’t happen either. That amount of money came with its own rules and restrictions.

Maybe over the years you have thought that if you just got X or did Y or married so and so all your troubles would be over and Easy street would be your address. Bad news Bunkie…none of those things are ever going to set you free.

Maybe Freedom isn’t possible. Maybe freedom is a lie we are told to keep us striving and efforting toward some unattainable goal. Independence may be a brass ring set just out of our reach to keep us from looking more deeply at our plight.

What if you are now, and have always been free? I can hear you…but the bills need to be paid, the lawn mowed, and the baby changed. How can I possibly be free?

It’s simple, really. Freedom is a choice. Freedom is an attitude. I chose the things that put me here. I chose to create those bills, paying them is a joy because I am enjoying all the things those bills bought. The lawn needs mowing because my grass is green and growing and it is in front of my home that I chose to live in. The baby I joyfully change because that small human is a part of my life I would be never be without.

Your attitude determines your level of freedom. When you pay your bills, do it with gratitude and love. When you do your household chores, smile at your good fortune to have a household to do chores for. And that diaper? It’s sign of health and love.

Find freedom today, right where you are, right now. Freedom is about your state of mind. Freedom is present right now in the choices you are making now. Freedom is yours for the taking. The prison is in your mind.

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412

Sunday Story…Amends

Last week was Father’s day and I resisted wring a paean to my Father. I have done it before and will probably do it again. My Father has passed. I think of him often and not just on Father’s day. I often ask myself what he would do in any particular situation.

I was lucky enough to tell my Father that everything good and honorable about me came from him and my mother. The stuff that’s not so hot is all mine, a product of my own wrongheaded-ness and stinking thinking.

If you have people in your life you have not made amends with, do it now. One of the worst things that can happen is for one of you to pass on without clearing the air between you. It is the things we didn’t do that we regret. And this is one you can’t fix. Make amends.

What I am talking about is taking responsibility for your part of the relationship. For the part you played in the mis-communication, for the pieces of non-communication that didn’t take places, for the boundaries you overstepped (your own). Trying to talk to people from beyond the grave is just too difficult so…do it now. And now is important since you never know what may happen to prevent that communication in the future.

A dear friend of mine had a tumultuous relationship with her mother for most of her adult life. When she finally had a chance to make amends her mother’s dementia just did not allow that clearing conversation to take place. When her mother died, her grief was so great that she retreated from the world for almost 2 years. It was a wounding that still suppurates to this day.

If you have the chance to have those conversations, take the chance now. If there is something you need to say to someone say it now. If you don’t it is holding you back from moving forward. Think of it as an emotional house cleaning. When things are clean, your being feels lighter. You can relax and get more done.

When the conversation takes place, own it. In other words, use “I” statements. Own your part of the failure and don’t blame the other person. Listen mindfully and do not formulate an answer. Keep your mind and spirit open to find what new can arise from open and honest communication.

I know it’s easier to put it off until another time. Don’t do it…another time may be too late and then where will you be? So take a big breath and make the call and have the conversation. You will be glad you did.

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey@gmail.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412

Sunday Story…We do things

A certain way. It’s the way we have always done them. It works for us and may be the one true way(probably not). Sure there are other ways but ours is the best way. Anyone else just hasn’t gotten the message yet.

This sort of intractable position is very common. We often see it labeled as “tradition.” But tradition was once new and unusual and a change from what came before it.

I am reminded of an old story I call Grandma and the ham. When a youngster was in the kitchen learning how to cook with Mom one day, Mom was preparing a ham for the oven. She carefully cut the ends of the ham off and placed in the roasting pan. When asked why cut the ends of the ham off, Mom thought for a moment and answered, “I don’t really know but that’s the way my mother did it.” As most children will ask, the follow up question was but why did Grandma cut the ends of the ham off? A bit exasperated and harried Mom said why don’t we call Grandma and ask her! So the child called Grandma and asked the pressing question of why did the ends of the ham need to be cut off? And Grandma said “I don’t really know but that’s the way my mother did it.” Well now our super sleuthing child is really curious. Luckily Great Grandma is still around to answer the phone so the call gets made. Great grandma answered the phone and upon hearing the pressing question she chuckled and said, “oh that’s easy…my pan was too small!”

Generation of hams had the ends cut off simply because one pan was too small?! Far too often we are doing things for reasons unknown and when they become known aren’t really sound logical reasons. What they are is habitual and easy and comfortable. Why keep doing them if they really don’t serve any purpose other than habit? Is there a better way? Is there a different way that might serve a greater purpose? Or at least be more interesting?

Are you willing to look around and see what you are doing because “that’s the way we have always done it?” Are you willing to look at those habits objectively and choose a different or more interesting way? What might arise in your life if you examine and discard old patterns that are just there because the pan was too small? We all have them…And we all would be served by at least looking and deciding if we want to keep cutting the ends of the ham off!

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412