Sunday Story...Change is a coming

Change is coming to Relentless Martial Arts

What follows below is the letter I sent to my students and athletes yesterday. For those of you following this blog, it will continue. I may be a bit hit and miss over the next few weeks so I ask your understanding. If you have any questions feel free to call or write me.

After close to 20 years of teaching martial arts here in Fernley, I have decided to move to Dallas TX. Rather than close the doors a consortium of highly qualified teachers and students have decided to step up and continue the work this school has been doing in the community these last 2 decades. We will be moving the school to a (yet to be disclosed) new location. Wendy Tustin (soon to be 3rd degree black belt), Rick Lauk (soon to be 2nd degree black belt), Richard Lynn (soon to be 2nd degree), Scott Dalton (soon to be 1st degree)and Dennis Clark (soon to be 1st degree) will be leading the TaeKwon-Do side of the school, with Mr. Clark spearheading the After School Martial Arts Program. Matt Waipa, a Charles Gracie Team Purple Belt and Naron Antone, a Charles Gracie Team Blue Belt, will run the Brazilian JiuJitsu program. Dani Northington and Linda and Brian Pike will head up our FIT program. Working together Dani Northington and Linda Pike will also lend their years of organizational expertise in coordinating all three of these divisions and the resulting paperwork and administrative details.

I remain the overall leader of this venture. I will continue to guide the martial arts teaching, visiting several times a year to assist in the administration of tests and curriculum development. I will also be behind the scenes guiding and developing the FIT program into the premiere strength and fitness program it has already become.
I have been teaching here in Fernley for 17 years. Throughout the years, I have grown, changed, learned and formed friendships here. I have been deeply affected and I have not come to this decision lightly. As a matter of fact, it took a very unique opportunity to pull me away.

I have had thousands of children and adults who have earned belts in TaeKwon Do ranging from the basic white belt to advanced degree black belts. About 50 of you earned black belts. I couldn’t be more proud of your accomplishments.
Together, we have done many outstanding community projects ranging from the community garden (which donated over 2,000 pounds of food to our local food bank), to 15 days of kindness, to helping send care packages to our soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. We have also produced thousands of acts of kindness over the last 7 or 8 years since we began the Acts of Kindness project. I like to think that we have made our world and Fernley a better place to live and play. None of those things would have been possible without you and your efforts.

To all of you, I hope our time together has been well spent. I have enjoyed being your teacher, coach, mentor and friend. Some of you I have known for a very long time; I have seen you learn and grow and become stronger and better with each passing day. For those of you I have not had the pleasure of spending a long time with, I apologize that our time has been too short and hope I have managed to impact your lives in a meaningful way.

If you want to shift your TaeKwon Do training, please call Grand Master Grasso at 775-813-1150 and he will welcome you at his school in Reno. For those of you interested in Gracie Jiu-Jitsu, please call Gary Grate at the Reno Gracie Academy at 775-830-4279. And for you CrossFitters, I highly recommend Battle Born CrossFit. Call Alena at 775-745-5144. Every one of these organizations is top notch and will be expecting your call.

I do have remote coaching and teaching programs available and there are some openings at this time. Call me at 338-2412 to discuss with me if this option is right for you.

I apologize to any of you who feel saddened by this decision. And I ask you to continue your training and keep doing the good work you have started.

Every beginning has an ending and every ending is a new beginning.

This is true for all of us.

I welcome people to stay in touch via my weekly blog at http://sunday-stories.blogspot.com/. My email will remain utffernley@gmail.com and my phone number is 775-338-2412.
Your friend,
John Mariotti
Namaste

Sunday Story...On Being Better

Sunday Story…On Being Better

In my TaeKwon-Do classes we always talk about Indomitable Spirit. We define this concept as “facing your fear and going ahead anyway.” This is also how many people define courage. That quality within us that has us getting up when we get knocked down. This is the stuff heroes are made of…that spirit that has those heroes fighting insurmountable odds, facing unconquerable opponents and attacking life head on in the face of sure defeat.

Today a hero was born. She doesn’t know it yet but a hero entered the world today. Today I witnessed Indomitable Spirit manifest in the world. Today I saw self-esteem grow and be displayed like a peacock fanning his feathers.

This morning at approximately 9:40AM west coast time Linda Pike started her 2nd Tough Mudder. For those of you who don’t know the Tough Mudder…here it is in a nutshell…run 10 or 12 miles up a mountain, face 20 or so obstacles like crawling in mud while getting electrical shocks, humping over (and under) huge logs placed 10 or so feet above the ground, climbing up a 14 foot wall and jumping off into a pit of muddy water, carrying a large log up and down a hill, and jumping in to a trough of ice (lots of ice) water and swimming under a barrier to the other side, and a whole bunch of other torturous tests.

Tough Mudder is not a race. Tough Mudder is a challenge. A challenge to you to help your teammates get through the course. A challenge to you to face your fear and go ahead anyway. A testing ground for courage and indomitable spirit. A challenge to you to emerge with a new attitude and a fresh smile born of accomplishment.

Linda Pike became a hero today. A mere 10 months ago she ran a very similar course and walked past/avoided over ½ of the obstacles. Today she defeated each obstacle. Today she faced her fear of heights. Today she faced her fear of water and not being able to see. Today she faced self doubt and negative self-talk. Today she faced down decades of demons telling her what she couldn’t do. Today Linda Pike became a hero.

Linda Pike looked into the maw of fear and defeat and snatched her self-esteem, her self-worth out of tthe grasp of those demons and like the warriors of yore shook victory from those steely cold unfeeling hands. Today Linda Pike stepped up and got counted among the heroes. She worked hard over the last year, of that I have seen. She showed up, picked up weight, learned new skills, sweated and yes cried once or twice on the road to this morning’s victory. But all those hours in the gym were a minor contribution to the display of courage and indomitable spirit I saw over 4½ hours today. What happened today was the blossoming of a new persona…one who believes in the aristocracy of effort and vision. This hero will view any obstacle as surmountable. This hero will step up and girding her loins, strapping on her weapons will step on to that battle field of human endeavor and fight tooth and nail to achieve victory.

Linda Pike I salute you and your performance today. You are my hero.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story…Work First

Go get your Webster’s dictionary out. Look up three words…results, success, and work. We all know what these mean…I’m mostly interested if you notice the order in which these words appear. Results show up first, then success, and lastly work. This is the only place that this occurs.

Work always comes before success or results. If you don’t work nothing else matters. If you aren’t willing to sacrifice, plan, deal with frustration and pain then you aren’t willing to work. You need to work to get results. It really is simple.

Too many of us focus on results we want. The goal we have in mind. I want to weigh 125 pounds, I want to dead lift 500 pounds, I want to be at 12% body fat. These are all results. These are all goals, the results we want from the effort we expend. But they should not be the primary focus. The primary focus is the work.

Work is what we do to get results. Work is what is required to get the results we want work is what we do to be who we want to be. Work is the glue that puts the results together to build the life we want to live.

I often say there is no “magic pill.” Well, I am wrong…the “magic pill” is work, and work includes sacrifice. Work includes doing some things you don’t want to do. Work requires that you stay on task as you move through the cycle to get the results you want.

We can’t just show up and think the work will get done. We need to be intentional and focused on doing the work. Results and met goals are the products of focused intentional effort also known as work. Results and success follow work not the other way around.
Forget about the results. Forget about the goals. Get your laser beam focus on the right work, the correct effort and the results will be there. Most people miss this part; they are so focused on the results, the end game that they forget about the mindset that it takes to get to that part of the game. Don’t be that guy. Don’t lose sight of the work and how you do it. That focus, that intention, that single minded effort to doing the task at hand with nothing else in mind.

This doesn’t mean that results aren’t important…they are. That would be a mistaken belief but so is thinking that results are the only things that matters. Work matters and work comes first before results and before success. Laser like focus on the work at hand yields the results you crave and need. Keep your priorities in order.

The only place success comes before work in in the dictionary.

Namaste

John

“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”

www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Family Ties

Sunday Story…Family Ties

I spent this past weekend visiting my family. We all have family. Some families are big and expansive, others are smaller and more compact. We generally don’t get to pick our family. They are the ones we come with, even the ones we marry into. I suppose mine is average if such a thing is possible.

The reason I am writing about this today is the juxtaposition between birth and death, the beginning and the end, alpha and omega. I have a grandson just 6 months into his life and my father at 80 slowly nearing the end of his.

One happy and joyful being passed from relative to relative, played with and playing, rolling over and discovering a whole new world.

The other, well, hardly moving or speaking.

2 journeys…beginning and ending and beginning again. Most of us can’t remember our first 3 or 4 years. My father can’t really remember these last few years either. He will be gone at some time in the near future. My grandson has been born at a time when his life span is expected to exceed 100 years to parents that are already concerned about his nutritional intake.

My father was the first of his family to graduate from college. It was quite an accomplishment and one that set me on the path to a college education as it has my children and now my grandchild. As a matter of fact he already has a college fund.

My father’s journey has been long and in many ways tiring. He and my mother raised 4 boys and have generously given to all of us and all of their grandchildren. Now they are great grandchildren to cherish.

My family is not close geographically. We come together infrequently and enjoy the time we have. My parents raised their children to be independent and able to enjoy lives we built. We were very fortunate to have been born at the time we were born and to the people who raised us. I hope my children and grandchildren have the same good fortune. I hope my father realizes the fantastic job he and my mother did in providing the life they did for me and my brothers. And I hope our newest member gets all of that and more.

I feel sad in seeing my father in the sunset of his life but I hold dear of the memories of strength, integrity, and perseverance he provided. I feel happy in my grandson’s prospect and hope to give him the same example my father gave me.

This shifting of time, this beginning and ending of times is all part of the process we all experience. It is one of the things that all of us humans get to do in some way or another.

Enjoy the process on both ends and in the middle. Life is about what happens in the dash…the dash between your date of birth and date of death.

Namaste

John

“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”

www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Nice Guys

Don’t always finish last. We live in a world where being tough is held up as the ultimate virtue. After all big boys and girls don’t cry. Keep a stiff upper lip. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. These are platitudes we have all heard all of our lives. The CrossFit community has even more of them…raise the bar or die trying, misery loves company so same time and place tomorrow, the weight isn’t too much, you’re too weak, suck it up buttercup. We seem to think that being tough will get us through just about anything.

And tough will serve you often. Picking yourself after you get knocked down is an important quality. Understanding that failure is not defeat, but just an unexpected outcome is a good lesson to integrate. It is important to attack some things like a dog with a bone, not giving up until you get the outcome you desire.

But do you have to be tough all the time? Aren’t there things you could do with a little more love, a little more “nice”? Can’t you be nice when you are getting your morning latte? Can’t you be even nicer than you were yesterday? Do you really need to go through life with your shields up and your hyper-vigilant game face on? I don’t think so. Not everything is a battle for supremacy. Every errand does not need to be a personal record or a contest to see if you can be more efficient, faster, better than the last time.

Maybe you should relax a little and love more. Maybe if you were nicer people would help you. After all, don’t we all want to help people who give us a reason to help them? And isn’t someone being nice a really good reason to help them? Do you really want to go out of your way for the people you know who are rude, crabby, grouchy, or just generally unhappy? I think not.

Try a little more love and little less effort, a little more yield and less push, a little more water and less stone in your day to day life and dealing with other humans. Give people a reason to help you. Be nicer. And then when it is time to be a badass, be a badass. Because being hard and unyielding all the time is hard hard work. Learn to be a little nicer and it will go a long way and then when it is time to be not nice it will be much more effective and more noticeable.

Be hard when the time is right. Be nice the rest of the time. Yin and Yang, hard and soft, one defines the other. You can’t have one without the other to define and highlight the other.

Be a bad ass but be a nice bad ass!

Namaste

John

“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”

www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story…Pity Party

Serves no one. Well, that isn’t really true. If you decide to host a pity party and a bunch of people show up I guess you might feel well met…after all misery does love company. But does it really serve you? Are you going to feel better when everyone goes home and you are left wallowing in your own swampy morass of pity? Do you really want everyone to coo and cluck over your horrible situation and how you have every right to feel the way you do and you have been so wronged and of course you are justified in feeling this way?

When I was teaching a P.E. fun day recently at a local elementary school I saw this in action a number of times. A child would fall down (incurring no real damage) and would proceed to cry and carry on until some energy from fellow classmates or teachers got focused on them. In a couple of instances they sat in their misery (alone) for 20 minutes until the game shifted to something more to their liking. This really served no one at all.

Where is your pity party? Are you constantly grousing about your weight? How it is so hard for you to lose weight? How you have tried every diet known to man and just nothing works? You’ve been to Doctors, looked at surgery, tried the pills, the shakes, the calorie counting, the shots the prescriptions but nothing give you the permanent change you want? Why isn’t there a magic pill that will work for me….blah blah blah, whine, and whine whine until we are all sick of it?
Maybe your thing is getting fit? Or maybe your job or career? Or your relationship. Hell, maybe your pity party is the weather. It’s too hot, it’s too cold, it’s allergy season, it’s too dry, and it’s too humid, blah blah ad infinitum.

Look we all feel sorry for ourselves from time to time. And sometimes the wrongs done to us would have us be justified in feeling that way. But the real question is whether or not curling up into a fetal position is still serving you all these years later? Are you going to lay on the floor and cry about how horrible things were (and maybe they really were and any one with half a brain would agree that you should be curled up in a corner sucking yor thumb) until when? Is that fetal position still serving you? How, exactly, is your continued pity party serving you?

Maybe you should try happiness? Maybe you should try getting out of bed in the morning with a smile on your face and decide it’s a great day and then set out to make it one? After all you can always crawl back into your pity cave if happiness doesn’t work.

The fact is very simple…the pity party and the happiness train can’t exist at the same time. It’s a one or the other sort of proposition. So get off the pity party circuit and try an express to happiness. Shake it off and get out to building the amazing life you deserve.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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Sunday Story...Time is on my Side

Or is it? Remember when you were little? Christmas or your birthday seemed to take forever to come around and summer vacation never came soon enough. Through the years time seems to shrink. It is June already and the year is half gone.
It seems like it was just yesterday that I turned 50 and now I am closer to 60. When did that happen? Let alone the distance from childhood. There is no avoiding the onslaught, the continuous march of time; it is going to happen no matter what I do.

Every morning each of us is gifted with 24 hours. Our year is going to have 365 and a quarter days unless it gets cut short. I get the same amount of time you get. How I spend that time is up to me. When we are young time seems infinite. There appears to be no end of time, no end of the possibilities. The older I get the closer time seems to be. It feels like there is a limited amount of it to get things done and if I don’t get them started and finished soon there will be no time left.

So do we rush out in a frenzy, trying to pack our bucket list into the next few years? You know the bucket list? The list of 100 things you must do before you die…learn French (or Spanish or Russian), go to Machu Pichu, run with the bulls of Pamplona, travel around the world in 80 days or whatever else may be on your list. After all time is running out!

I find myself paring the list down to the essentials. Living a life by design, simple and full. A life designed intentionally to inspire and be full of the things that matter to me. Do I want to do all of those things on the list? Sure, it would be nice but it is much more important to me to live a life of optimum health and fitness, to inspire others by example and have some fun and connection while I do that.

Get out and do the things that move and inspire you. A young friend of mine is pursuing her dream of being a mid-wife, a doula, and she has been doing it in the villages of Kenya and Latin America. She often says I inspired her to get out of our small town and find a world where she could make a difference. And she is doing just that…making a difference. She is, in her early twenties, already leaving a legacy of lives touched and changed by her presence.

It is never too late to get started. You are not too old or too young, too big or too small to get out and make a difference. But time is working against you. And time is working for you. You get so many minutes in this body, in this lifetime.. The time is now to go do the things you were meant to do, the things you were designed to do, the purpose you were placed here to fulfill. Maybe you already know what that is; maybe you are in the midst of getting it done. Bravo! If not, today is a good day to get started.

Remember:
If you think you are too small to make a difference, try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room.
It is up to you to leave your mark; no one can do it for you. Time is moving on and the world is waiting for you to step into your role.

Namaste
John
“Teaching Focus, Inspiring Transformation”
www.martialartsnevada.com

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