Sunday Story…Losing and Winning

In most things we do we perceive there is a winner and a loser. Someone ends up on top and someone else not so much. 2 teams play and 1 wins. When I do something on my own I can say I won or I lost. The games we play and the interactions we have all have the perception of a winner and a loser.

But life is not a zero-sum game. There is not a fixed pile of wins for us to compete over. As a matter of fact, there may be no winners or no losers. This doesn’t mean everyone gets a trophy by the way. Just because you played doesn’t mean you won. UNLESS you learned something. There’s your trophy…new knowledge you didn’t have before. You still didn’t get to do the victory dance but you took something home that may be more valuable than the trophy.

You need to be willing to lose, to fail, in order to learn the lessons that will be required to win. This is the real lesson of the “trophy generation”…they have no idea how to learn from not winning. No idea how to take the lessons of failure, apply the learning, and go back to risk it again and again, learning more every time.

Learn something from every interaction…good and bad, winning and losing, defeat and victory and I will guarantee a win every time.

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412

Sunday Story…NOW VS LATER

It doesn’t taste as good as fit feels…NOW. Unfortunately this isn’t true. It tastes good NOW. Fit will feel good LATER.

This is, regrettably, is the real problem with lots of delayed gratification decisions we make. We know that getting fit, or losing the weight, or buying life insurance is going to be of great benefit LATER. But LATER is well, LATER and that just isn’t as much fun as NOW is.

Eating that box of thin mints is good NOW. Spending the money on me is good NOW, providing for my loved ones when I die (LATER) is hard to imagine. Kicking my ass in gym so I will look really good in my swimsuit (LATER) isn’t as much fun as sitting on the couch and watching TV NOW.

NOW always looks like more fun than LATER. NOW is always easier to feel than LATER. But LATER is way more fun when it becomes NOW and you are getting both what you worked for and what you want NOW. In this way LATER always defeats NOW.

The problem is getting you to feel and understand and realize deep in your being how much better LATER is going to be especially when compared to the fleeting pleasure of NOW.

Engage your future mind NOW to enjoy the fruits of LATER. It’s the only way to get what you really want both NOW and LATER.

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412

Sunday Story…Life lifes

Life is going to life. That’s what it does. It doesn’t matter what you do life is going to move ahead. The sun will come up tomorrow. The wind will blow (or not). It will rain (or not). Good things will happen. Bad things will happen. There isn’t much agency you can apply to a lot of these things. You are not in control of most of it. Life will life.

The one thing you can control is what your attitude is about the things life throws up. It is the only thing under your control. It is the only thing that can never be taken from you. You health can go, your freedom taken, the sun hidden and the rain never ceasing but your attitude is all yours. And it is all yours to do what you want with.

You can choose to have a crappy attitude about what’s happening or you can choose something else. You can arise in the morning and choose cranky and tired. Or you can arise with the “it’s a great day to be alive” outlook…Your choice. You can get depressed about your circumstances and you can be excited about the challenges you get to face…Your choice. You hang your head or jump for joy...Your choice.

Control the thing you can control. Let the rest of it go. Success isn’t permanent and Failure isn’t fatal. It is your attitude that matters.

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412

Sunday Story…Your Diet is Broken

Or maybe the word itself should be thrown out. Be gone Diet! I cringe every time I hear someone say I need to improve my diet, or my diet is wrong or my diet is (fill in the blank). When you say diet I think of a caloric deficit program to achieve a certain cosmetic outcome or to fix/improve a medical condition. There are very few people who need to “diet.” Are you participating in a physique or body building contest in 16 weeks? Then start dieting. Morbidly obese? Start dieting.

The rest of us just need to learn to eat. You aren’t eating enough of the right stuff. There is no magic pill or potion or powder that will have you achieve your goal. You are drinking too much (it converts to sugar). You aren’t fueling your body to meet your performance goals or your weight loss goals or your body composition goals (how you look in the mirror).
#1 Figure out what your specific goal is, define it, state it, put a time on it and get to work.
#2 Be patient…whatever it is will take time! Move slowly towards your goals so when they are met they are lasting and permanent.
#3 Build an individual plan. Cookie cutter plans won’t work. What works for me isn’t going to work for you. That means asking lots of questions and doing things differently than you have done them before.

EAT REAL FOOD! That means meat and vegetables, seeds and nuts, some starchy tubers, a bit of fruit and no sugar. Eat in quantities that will fuel activity but not store fat. Step one is to know what you are eating now! Can’t fix it if we don’t know what it is! Start tracking what you eat and drink every day. And stop guessing…are you eating 2 ounces or 6 ounces of hamburger? It makes a difference. After you start tracking your consumption for awhile you will get good at knowing what 4 ounces of hamburger looks like.

Get Help. Get support. There are lots of resources these days. The facts are simple though…you can’t out exercise bad food choices. You can’t do enough thrusters or burpees or row enough calories to make up for eating crap. So stop already.

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412

Sunday Story…Your Resolutions II

So…when we fail to connect to the outcome of our resolutions we are doomed. Actions will always fail at some point. You will get sick, get busy or a hundred other things that will have us not complete a planned action. When we are connected to the action not acting shows up as a failure. And we hate to fail so we give up.

Connect emotionally to the outcome, the results. At that point when a miss a day I will be more motivated to get back after it. Don’t see going to the gym as the result, see your vibrant health and vitality, the body you want, the strength you desire as the goal. Those pictures will get you up and off the couch. The clearer and more concise and real that outcome is, the more likely you are to stay on task.

Once you have connected to your results figure out what concrete things are standing in the way. If its money find out what it will take to save the necessary funds. List the obstacles and create a plan for getting past them. Break it down for a monthly and weekly plan of action. How much will you need to save every week to get what you need? Then, you guessed it, daily. What is the daily plan that needs to execute for success? Aim for 80% compliance. One day will not cause the whole week or month to fail.

Finally look at what is working NOW and build on that. This is critical. You can’t start loving running tomorrow if you hate it today. If you try to make that 180 degree shift it is a recipe for failure. The idea is to find what works, what you already enjoy doing and build on that to create both a sense of success and a new paradigm to get the life you truly enjoy.

Stephen Covey exhorts us to “Begin with the end in mind.” I would add “Begin with the end in your heart” as well.

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412

Sunday Story…Your Resolutions

Are not the problem. Nor is it your motivation or even your discipline.
The problem is what happens after you make the resolution (or any decision to change).
Here is the normal process:
Resolution
Big Push (effort)
Setback (small failure)
Reset (delay)
Give up
Hate yourself
How many times (years) have you been doing this? This spiral gets you nowhere and actually gets worse year after year. The getting worse part is the self loathing. That needs to stop.

There is a better way. Stop trying to connect to the actions. When you focus on the actions it is too easy to lose the habit. When the focus is on the doing when you aren’t doing you are failing. When I fail or quit I don’t like myself. When I don’t like myself I will indulge in the things I was resolving not to do (eat healthy). Thus the spiral.

The better way is to focus on the outcome. When I focus on the outcome I can form an emotional bond to success. When I am emotionally vested in success those small setbacks are just that…small setbacks. Then instead of delaying I just restart. The downward spiral has been arrested. We go back to pushing toward our emotionally connected outcome.

There are some standard resolutions most people make every year…lose weight, make more money, and feel better. Not only are these ephemeral there is no connection to the outcome. What will happen when you lose weight? How will you feel? How will you look? What will people say to you? What will you learn? The answers will provide an emotional connection to the results of your activities.

Even better is to throw out the standard resolutions and start with some questions (courtesy of Chris Cooper at Two Brain Business who inspired this post):
What do you what to learn?
Where do you want to go?
What do you NEED to upgrade?
Who will you serve?
Answer these questions and you will have a template for your year.

Next week…what to do with the answers!

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey@gmail.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412

Sunday Story…Happy New Year

It’s that time of year when we look forward (and back) at the past year and the one upcoming. Every day I get another email promising if I just participate in this challenge, buy this course, or jump through these hoops 2017 will be my greatest year EVER!

It seems to me I got similar things in 2016 and 2015 and 2014 and beyond. And maybe every one of those things contributed to having great years (some were better than others). But maybe I don’t need anything outside of myself to help me enjoy a better year. Maybe I need to look internally for some ways to make things even better in 2017.

How about taking apart the things that happened in 2016 so you can become aware of what worked and what didn’t? That way you can repeat and make better those things that worked. And not do the things that didn’t work!
You could call it the 25 things this year taught me! Or 10 or 50 or whatever number floats your boat. But if you don’t look back and assess what did and didn’t work you may find that 2017 looks a lot like 2016.

Here are of three of mine:

1. Rest is good. Get more conscious about slowing down and letting things happen organically.
2. Communication is the key. Open honest communication will always win the day, even when it looks hard.
3. People love who you are, when who you are truly is who you are meant to be. I love to be around people living their passion, working on themselves, and happy in the world.

The list could go on…but maybe you should go make yours now!

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey@gmail.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412